riversidemf Posted September 22 Share Posted September 22 Theres a man that will move and position his body so that he can get a better, clearer view of me, and just stare at me. He has no shame or no self awareness, everyone points it out and notices it to the point where they are feeling uncomfortable for me. The man will be dancing with his wife, and then suddenly look for me in the room, she notices him looking for "something" and realizes he's looking at me. There's been similar instances where this has been pointed out to me. He's never said one word to me besides the time he asked me to take a shot with him and I acted like he wasn't there. I don't know why he stares, or why he's so interested to see where I am and what I'm doing. Maybe he finds me interesting, weird, funny looking, attractive whatever it is his wife does not like it. And I don't blame her. I had one brief interaction with her before, we actually shared a laugh she seemed nice. We would say hi and greet eachother but thats it. This was before she noticed her husband was being weird. Now she has more of a hostile attitude towards me. People have said she does not like me. She's posting subliminals about me on tik tok along the lines of me thinking I'm all that ect ect. I'm catching strays for no other reason than her man having staring problems. I don't do well with being in a room with the hostility and awkwardness because it seems to be affecting others. Im not one to get ran off, I should be able to be around, full stop the others agree. Her husbands the one making the room feel weird. She's my aunts niece so I'm bound to bump into them and it makes me feel sad for my aunt that there's drama going on. What could be the resolution here if any. Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted September 22 Share Posted September 22 You should have a talk with the man. Tell him to stop making everyone feel uncomfortable. You are right, you are not the bad guy here, and the wife should be mad at her husband, not you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author riversidemf Posted September 22 Author Share Posted September 22 6 hours ago, Gebidozo said: You should have a talk with the man. Tell him to stop making everyone feel uncomfortable. You are right, you are not the bad guy here, and the wife should be mad at her husband, not you. I was thinking talking to her would be more appropriate? Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted September 22 Share Posted September 22 Where does this happen? Do you see these people often? Link to post Share on other sites
Author riversidemf Posted September 22 Author Share Posted September 22 (edited) 19 minutes ago, Gaeta said: Where does this happen? Do you see these people often? Family dinners, Birthday parties, Christmas, New years, pool parties. Do I see them often, sometimes and then other times a couple months inbetween. I seen them once last week and once the week before that. Edited September 22 by riversidemf Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted September 22 Share Posted September 22 I have a big family with lots of family events too. My advise to you would be to not get involved in 'their' drama. Stay away from him, do not make a deal of him looking at you. As long as he's not touching you and harassing you - he should not exist to you. If you go up to him he will deny looking at you. If you go up to her she will tell you to mind your business. This is a problem between her and him. Link to post Share on other sites
Leihla_B Posted September 22 Share Posted September 22 9 hours ago, riversidemf said: ...everyone points it out and notices it to the point where they are feeling uncomfortable for me. Wow, how thoughtful of them. They're certainly not uncomfortable enough 'for you' to avoid laying it in your lap, as though there's something 'you' should do about it? I'd speak with the last person who did me such a favor or the next one who stirs that pot. I'd ask if they or anyone else in the room are willing to step up for me and take their observations to him. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted September 22 Share Posted September 22 9 hours ago, riversidemf said: everyone points it out and notices it to the point where they are feeling uncomfortable for me I wonder how that happens. So you're standing by the punch bowl and you and a few other people are looking at him and talking about how gross he is. From a distance his wife sees that, she can't hear so how do you think she's interpreting all that? I would probably think this girl has a thing for my husband. Yes yes he's gross l agree, but l think you're feeding the problem instead of making it dissapear. Link to post Share on other sites
Author riversidemf Posted September 22 Author Share Posted September 22 (edited) 51 minutes ago, Gaeta said: I wonder how that happens. So you're standing by the punch bowl and you and a few other people are looking at him and talking about how gross he is. From a distance his wife sees that, she can't hear so how do you think she's interpreting all that? I would probably think this girl has a thing for my husband. Yes yes he's gross l agree, but l think you're feeding the problem instead of making it dissapear. That scenerio and conversations you made up isnt real, so your assumption is wrong about me feeding into the problem. The man will just abruptly turn or look my way stand there and stare unprovoked. It is as weird as it sounds. Edited September 22 by riversidemf Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted September 22 Share Posted September 22 (edited) 28 minutes ago, riversidemf said: That scenerio and conversations you made up isnt real, so your assumption is wrong about me feeding into the problem. The man will just abruptly turn or look my way stand there and stare unprovoked. It is as weird as it sounds. My theory was not about him but about those other people going to you. If my assumption is wrong then would you explain to us how those other people come to you? They come to you during those events? Edited September 22 by Gaeta Link to post Share on other sites
Author riversidemf Posted September 22 Author Share Posted September 22 (edited) 25 minutes ago, Gaeta said: My theory was not about him but about those other people going to you. If my assumption is wrong then would you explain to us how those other people come to you? They come to you during those events? Its pointed out to me and discussed after the event. Or there's been times my cousin and I went into a room to get something or change our clothes and she will point it out to me what she saw. We wouldn't stand around and very obviously talk about him. His wife notices just like how everyone else notices, because he's painfully obvious. No other reason. Edited September 22 by riversidemf Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted September 22 Share Posted September 22 17 hours ago, riversidemf said: He has no shame or no self awareness, everyone points it out and notices it to the point where they are feeling uncomfortable for me. Tell them that you're not comfortable going to the events while this guy is being such a creep to you. Their response will show you how much they really care Link to post Share on other sites
Author riversidemf Posted September 23 Author Share Posted September 23 Talked to the wife.The hostility is squashed.😊 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Leihla_B Posted September 23 Share Posted September 23 2 hours ago, riversidemf said: Talked to the wife.The hostility is squashed.😊 Excellent! If anyone else, regardless of how well-intentioned they may be, tries to raise his behavior with you again, consider being direct and asking them why they believe this 'should' be your problem as opposed to their own to manage with the offender? Best wishes to you, and thank you for the terrific update. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted September 23 Share Posted September 23 4 hours ago, riversidemf said: Talked to the wife.The hostility is squashed.😊 No details? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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