Enissas Posted September 22 Share Posted September 22 (edited) My sons father (33) and I (31) have been together for 5 years. Our son is also going to be 5 in November which means we had him a year after dating. I honestly did not want to go through with the pregnancy and had break downs over the news. He's a man and men where I am from don't care about bringing a child too soon. He was happy about it and did whatever he could to support me. There were red flags from the start and I broke up with him once I believe (before pregnancy) because his jokes rubbed me the wrong way sometimes. They were violent jokes about killing me and hiding my body. He couldn't believe I would take him serious. Anyway, fast forward to during my pregnancy at the early stages, he would find out that I had been seeing someone else while we were dating (I cut it off when we got serious). I found out he was also seeing someone but he doesn't know that I know to this day. Him finding out triggered a lot of rage I didn't know he had and living with him became a constant challenge. I felt alone because his female cousin was also there and she treated me poorly. He sided with her until he realised I was being bullied by her then we moved out and got a place of our own. Like I said he did everything he could to make me comfortable. I lost my job so he had to be the sole provider. We eventually moved back closer to where my family members were and it was like he didn't like that I wasn't fully dependent on him anymore. We needed the help and all of his family are overseas. As time went on I saw more and more how angry he could get amoung other things. One time he threw my food out the window because we were arguing and I didn't feel like eating. He kicked the door in when I was naked on the toilet in front of our son and my sister. He tries to make it seem like I'm disrespecting him if I don't stay and listen to talk when the conversation becomes too much. I have lost myself in these arguments and even threw my phone into the wall. Its safe to say we bring out the worst in each other. I started talking to someone (a male friend) about it only because my female friends were not available when I needed them. We are just friends. He saw the messages and scanned the code for my whatsapp (I just found) so he could read other texts (he has hacked my phone before). He asked me to tell him the guys location or he's gonna take the car away from me and then when things cooled down, he said he only said it to see what I would do. He also showed me a video where he had a knife and said he found the guy. At this point I was done. Now we are at a place where he sees I'm serious about breaking up. I tried to leave twice and he packed his bag and tested me. I gave in and told him to stay. Now he is crying, waking me in my sleep to beg me not to leave him. He's now ready to meet all my demands and change after me asking for years. He asked me while he was crying how could I leave him at his lowest. He said, the reason he texted all those girls is to get my attention even though the previous messages were deleted. He crys and crys and crys and checks my messages to see who I'm talking to because I made him insecure. I was willing to go to counselling but now I just feel overwhelmed by his emotions. I'm begging for space and privacy and he just can't seem to give it to me. He messages me constantly about how much he need and loves me. He woke me this morning at 2am crying trying to hug me and didn't stop messaging me while he was outside crying in the car. At this point I wanna give in just to make it stop. Edited September 22 by Enissas Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted September 22 Share Posted September 22 This man is an abuser and has violent tendencies. You need to get away from him as soon as you can. Please call a relative, a friend, or a policeman to come and be with you while you pack and leave. Don’t stay alone with him. Ignore his pleas and block him on social media. This is serious. Don’t give him any chances. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted September 22 Share Posted September 22 4 hours ago, Enissas said: He also showed me a video where he had a knife and said he found the guy. This man is dangerous. Leave, as soon as humanly possible. Be aware that often the most dangerous time for a woman in an abusive relationship is when she finally breaks it off and her abuser loses it. Have you got a safe place to go? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Enissas Posted September 22 Author Share Posted September 22 3 hours ago, Gebidozo said: This man is an abuser and has violent tendencies. You need to get away from him as soon as you can. Please call a relative, a friend, or a policeman to come and be with you while you pack and leave. Don’t stay alone with him. Ignore his pleas and block him on social media. This is serious. Don’t give him any 1 hour ago, ExpatInItaly said: This man is dangerous. Leave, as soon as humanly possible. Be aware that often the most dangerous time for a woman in an abusive relationship is when she finally breaks it off and her abuser loses it. Have you got a safe place to go? He lives with me and I asked him to leave 3 times. All 3 times he had a breakdown asking me to take him back. He said he is looking for a place to rent but he still wants to go to counselling. Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted October 3 Share Posted October 3 On 9/22/2024 at 11:14 AM, Enissas said: Now he is crying, waking me in my sleep to beg me not to leave him. He's now ready to meet all my demands and change after me asking for years. He asked me while he was crying how could I leave him at his lowest. He said, the reason he texted all those girls is to get my attention even though the previous messages were deleted. He crys and crys and crys and checks my messages to see who I'm talking to because I made him insecure. This man has been abusing you for a long time and you need to get away from him as soon as possible. WHO CARES about his crying, you shouldn't be letting that manipulate you into staying. This man is extremely abusive and it's never going to get better. Link to post Share on other sites
NeurodivergentMe Posted October 14 Share Posted October 14 This is really scary - I am worried about you. I don’t know what country you are in but when men say they will kill their partner, they often follow through with it - this is a threat which should be taken seriously. You need professional support to get this dangerous loser out of your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts