Sister-in-law Living with Us!

[AtlGirl]

I'm new and haven't skimmed thru any threads yet-this topic may have been discussed, but I'll give my details...I got married three months ago, and my new sister-in-law has been living with us for four months. She's always around (even went with to pick out the wedding bands!), but she does help out around the house and chips in money-wise and by buying her own food. She's a good roommate; however, at this point in my life, I don't want a roommate. Because she's always around, it seems my husband and I are more on a roommate level than a spouse level.

 

He knows I feel she's around too much and I don't get enough quality time with him. Typically, Monday thru Friday, I might get 20 minutes with him before she gets home, and that's barely enough time for me to unwind from work and my commute and for us to get thru dinner together. We have no kids, and I feel this should be the time to enjoy each other and build our marriage before kids start taking our time away from each other. She went back home for the holidays leaving my husband and I alone for a week and a half. It was wonderful, and he even made the comment the other night about how he finally feels like a newlywed and how he likes it. She also constantly interrupts, and he is finally getting better at letting her know that she's interrupting our conversation. I feel it's his "job" to put her in her place, not mine - it's his sister. I would expect him to delegate the job to me if it were my sister.

 

She is going to be with us until August, and if her temp job goes longer, it could be another year on top of that! Does anyone have any advice on how to handle adjusting to a marriage with a third party alway around? As my husband put it, it's temporary and our problem is minimal compared to what other people go through. I understand this, and want to help because she's family, but she's driving me crazy. Am I being selfish? Is it unfair that I suggest he and I compromise on a time limit that she stays with us? I did agree last August that her being with us a year was fine. That was before married life - and although we lived together 6 months before she moved in, things are different now that we're married. I didn't realize before that things, or at least my feelings, would change much afterward. Live and learn, I guess.

 

Thanks for listening and I appreciate any advice!

[bluechocolate]

You've already agreed to her staying until August so it might be a bit tricky now to change your mind. However, you should make it clear that it can't be any longer than that. If her job goes on longer then surely she could take a room somewhere?

 

He knows I feel she's around too much and I don't get enough quality time with him.

 

Then he needs to make the time. Why is she there all the time? He should make her understand that you two need to be alone sometimes. She can go out for a night, can't she? Better yet she could book herself a motel room for a night every other weekend or something. You two could do the same.

[dnm1010]

you need time alone. that can mean watching a movie in your bedroom with the door closed, or having a night out just the two of you to the movies and dinner. and you have every right to tell her ure newlyweds and want some time alone.