Ghosted After 2 Years

[Gebidozo]

I still can’t understand why you’d ever want to date someone who clearly doesn’t want to date you, OP.

It’s not about just being naive. I’m curious why this kind of passive, evasive, shady behavior didn’t kill off your initial attraction to him. 

If a woman behaved that way with me I’d lose interest very, very quickly. Why wasn’t this a huge turn-off for you? 

[Leihla_B]

1 hour ago, RetroR said:

I know this was a long time coming and I'm just as stupid for holding on to a glimmer of hope.  

This doesn't make you stupid, it makes you myopic. You held a single-minded, laser beam focus on getting scraps of attention from one source, and no amount of mistreatment could disabuse you of that focus.

You've spoken of your family, particularly your sister, as being plugged into something being wrong with this guy. Please don't allow that to distance you from them now. You don't need to confide this in them if that makes you uncomfortable. It's not as though you ever had any progress to report to them, anyway. If asked, you can just say you haven't been in contact with him much lately, and turn the convo toward their lives. Tune into what they can share with you about themselves, and soak in their love and appreciation for you being with them.

Truly, it's the people in our lives who value us that can transform our worst feelings into gratitude. Please push yourself to go there and spend time with your people. You will thank yourself sooner rather than later.

[ExpatInItaly]

6 hours ago, RetroR said:

Which is when I'd go see him sometimes and say hi and bring him something to eat. 

Please, never do this again for a guy who barely gives you the time of day. 

It doesn't make you look caring. It makes you look, well, desperate. Value yourself more. 

[Georgia46]

You just need to let this go and learn to love yourself again.  Don’t be too hard on yourself. 
 

once you do honestly the thought of him will make you feel sick.  
 

block and delete the phone number. 

[Acacia98]

OP, when you consider how little time this guy actually spent with you and how little effort he devoted to you, it sounds like he could easily have had 2 or 3 other women in rotation and could have been treating them exactly the way he was treating you.

If it turns out there was no one other than you and, say, his workaholism kept him busy, I suspect the impact on you would be the same. When a man is emotionally unavailable, it makes little practical difference whether the thing that keeps him busy is another human being, his job, or an addiction. It might make a moral difference (depending on your value system), but in practical terms, the sense of feeling abandoned, unloved, and alone is a constant.