Instagram algorithm

[Brens]

Please help with this topic, first off I am not an Instagram user and have no idea how it works. I am 65 years old.  

My partner had been following women I did not approve of on Instagram.   He agreed to stop following these women.  Two weeks later I see one of the women to the right of his profile picture.  Huge fight.  He tells me he stopped following and blocked her page.  He tells me she could have had more than one Instagram page and this page showed up next to his name because the algorithm put it there.  

Can this be possible?  Please chime in as if this is true or false.  

Many thanks as I'm so confused and don't know what to believe.

 

[basil67]

It's certainly possible if she has more than one page.  But even if it wasn't her coming back on the feed, it would have been someone else similar.   My feed is mostly art and architecture.  I could unfollow one feed and more will pop up in it's place

You aren't going to get on top of this, so may I suggest that you stop policing his feed?   If his behaviour bothers you so much, then perhaps you should be looking at whether or not the two of you are truly compatible

[Leihla_B]

Are you married to a grown man with all his faculties? I ask because it sounds as though you are 'parenting' your husband, which, if true, is not only the most unflattering and unsexy thing one can do to another adult, it's also a perfect way to become dissatisfied with your relationship and unhappy with yourself.

Either you trust your fully capable adult of a husband or you don't. If so, stop policing him. If not, start there, and address the larger issue beyond a picture on the Internet.

[Gebidozo]

Sometimes, stuff pops up on those apps due to some algorithms or totally randomly. My photo album sometimes features photos of my ex, even though I certainly hasn’t been looking at them recently. This doesn’t mean anything. 

Frankly, I don’t think it’s healthy to monitor your partner’s online activities. It can come across as controlling. I definitely wouldn’t like that, and wouldn’t like my partner to tell me whom I can or cannot follow online. I have no idea whom she follows. As long as there is no cheating or some sexually explicit conversations occur, why would you care?

[goldengirls]

Yes that is very much true… I can follow one account and then all the spam fake accounts start rolling through. You can always verify yourself by checking his blocked list and see if the original is still there.  Also look at the username and account, it should be obvious it’s a copy fake account.  The username will be a little different by adding numbers or letters etc

[Leihla_B]

12 hours ago, Gebidozo said:

stuff pops up on those apps due to some algorithms or totally randomly.

 

11 hours ago, goldengirls said:

I can follow one account and then all the spam fake accounts start rolling through.

Yes, somehow my elderly parents have the grossest porn come up in their feeds.

At first they thought it was funny, but now they're annoyed.

[Brens]

On 9/24/2024 at 1:02 AM, Gebidozo said:

Sometimes, stuff pops up on those apps due to some algorithms or totally randomly. My photo album sometimes features photos of my ex, even though I certainly hasn’t been looking at them recently. This doesn’t mean anything. 

Frankly, I don’t think it’s healthy to monitor your partner’s online activities. It can come across as controlling. I definitely wouldn’t like that, and wouldn’t like my partner to tell me whom I can or cannot follow online. I have no idea whom she follows. As long as there is no cheating or some sexually explicit conversations occur, why would you care?

Yes sexually explicit conversations had been occurring.  

[Gebidozo]

18 minutes ago, Brens said:

Yes sexually explicit conversations had been occurring.  

🤭

You didn’t mention that in the OP.

Your husband was having sexual conversations with other women?

This is borderline cheating. A very serious issue.

Is he regretting that? Has he promised not to do that again?

It’s possible that he is addicted. You might need couples therapy.

[Brens]

Yes regret, very apologetic, very remorseful, sorry for the hurt he caused, promising to never do it again.  I thought the issue was behind us then  her photo next to his at the top of his  Instagram .   I was not policing his phone, he was on Instagram and I was sitting six inches away, he was not trying to hide his phone.   Was told it was an algorithm and out of his control.  I needed clarification as to if this was true as I don't use social media and I have no one in my circle of friends to ask.  

[Brens]

and thank you for the responseses.

[Gebidozo]

6 hours ago, Brens said:

Yes regret, very apologetic, very remorseful, sorry for the hurt he caused, promising to never do it again.  I thought the issue was behind us then  her photo next to his at the top of his  Instagram .   I was not policing his phone, he was on Instagram and I was sitting six inches away, he was not trying to hide his phone.   Was told it was an algorithm and out of his control.  I needed clarification as to if this was true as I don't use social media and I have no one in my circle of friends to ask.  

Have you fully forgiven him?

If so, you should trust him when he says it was just an algorithm. It is likely, especially if he is genuinely remorseful about his actions.