chat conversation girlfriend and other guy discovered

[Martin D]

I was curious about the next one.

A few years ago I discovered a chat between my girlfriend and a guy, Andy. He sent her a link to a porn video out of nowhere. She said: I don't watch those, those are videos for men. Then he sent another video and said: can this get you horny? Yes.At the same moment, coincidentally, I called from work at the time, which I actually never do. Then she said to him God damn, Martin is calling. That's what she says about her own boyfriend! And Andy said, just as I'm undressing. Girlfriend: conversation is gone! Andy said he was[ ]  And then she said she had to go. When I confronted her about it, she said, I didn't type this. And when I said it was on the laptop, she said she couldn't remember. I found it all very strange. That guy was an ex of hers, and he was also in her phone, she played the game wordfeud with him, she said. There were no other conversations with Andy on the laptop, but he apparently knew me.

It is also strange that someone would just send porn videos to an ex. So I think previous conversations have been deleted..

I blame her for this action, but she says that she has also discussed it with other people and that they thought it was not too bad. What do you think about this? Should be possible? Innocent pastime?

Martin

Edited September 24 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Removed graphic content

[Gebidozo]

Martin, I hope you aren’t trolling us.

You can’t possibly be that naive, can you?

She cheated on you, plain and simple.

I hope she isn’t your girlfriend anymore. 

[Martin D]

3 minutes ago, Gebidozo said:

Martin, I hope you aren’t trolling us.

You can’t possibly be that naive, can you?

She cheated on you, plain and simple.

I hope she isn’t your girlfriend anymore. 

No, I am very serious! I'm not trolling. Why do you think that?

[Gebidozo]

Just now, Martin D said:

No, I am very serious! I'm not trolling. Why do you think that?

Because I don’t know anybody who could describe his girlfriend having phone sex and mutual masturbation with another dude as “innocent pastime”.

[Martin D]

4 minutes ago, Gebidozo said:

Because I don’t know anybody who could describe his girlfriend having phone sex and mutual masturbation with another dude as “innocent pastime”.

 

it was via msn, not a phone call. I posted it here because she discussed it with her mother and a colleague, and they said it wasn't too bad

[Martin D]

We're actually already broken up.

[Acacia98]

30 minutes ago, Martin D said:

 

it was via msn, not a phone call. I posted it here because she discussed it with her mother and a colleague, and they said it wasn't too bad

But why do you care what she said to anyone and how they responded? The person whose opinion matters here is you. You get to set the standards for the type of relationship you want to be in. If monogamy and fidelity matter to you, then this woman was all wrong for you, and thank goodness you're broken up now. 

[Martin D]

1 hour ago, Acacia98 said:

But why do you care what she said to anyone and how they responded? The person whose opinion matters here is you. You get to set the standards for the type of relationship you want to be in. If monogamy and fidelity matter to you, then this woman was all wrong for you, and thank goodness you're broken up now. 

That's because her mother and acquaintance both said it wasn't too bad. She defended herself with that. So hence my question. Would other people think so too? Because probably she trivialized the conversation when she told her mother and acquaintance about it. But she herself claims that it is not cheating.

[Georgia46]

Is this the girlfriend that’s now your wife? 

[Gebidozo]

3 hours ago, Martin D said:

 

it was via msn, not a phone call. I posted it here because she discussed it with her mother and a colleague, and they said it wasn't too bad

Well, some people think slavery or torture aren’t too bad. 

What can I tell you? She cheated on you. It was bad. You’re broken up now. Good riddance. Try to move on and forget about that unfortunate incident.

[Martin D]

1 hour ago, Georgia46 said:

Is this the girlfriend that’s now your wife? 

Yes, it's my future ex. We were already married at the time. What do you think Georgia46?

[Martin D]

41 minutes ago, Gebidozo said:

Well, some people think slavery or torture aren’t too bad. 

What can I tell you? She cheated on you. It was bad. You’re broken up now. Good riddance. Try to move on and forget about that unfortunate incident.

When I hear it like that, I'm glad I got rid of her indeed..

[Gebidozo]

Just now, Martin D said:

When I hear it like that, I'm glad I got rid of her indeed..

Of course, you should be glad. She was a sleazy cheater. There are many good women out there, don’t lose hope.

[Georgia46]

16 minutes ago, Martin D said:

Yes, it's my future ex. We were already married at the time. What do you think Georgia46?

Hang on I’m confused.  This was your now wife doing this when she was your girlfriend? 

[Martin D]

10 minutes ago, Georgia46 said:

Hang on I’m confused.  This was your now wife doing this when she was your girlfriend? 

No, we were married already, I sometimes say girlfriend instead of wife.

[Georgia46]

Well I’m going to tell you straight you were not giving her enough bedroom attention if she was looking for it elsewhere. 
 

Not that it’s any excuse for what she did 

[Martin D]

21 minutes ago, Georgia46 said:

Well I’m going to tell you straight you were not giving her enough bedroom attention if she was looking for it elsewhere. 
 

 

But, she actually got that

[Georgia46]

So she was getting it but was she getting it enough? 

[Martin D]

1 minute ago, Georgia46 said:

So she was getting it but was she getting it enough? 

Never had any complaints, or do you think it's my fault?

[Georgia46]

Noooo not your fault.  Maybe she is a sex addict. Maybe she loves attention .. maybe it was nothing to do with you maybe she loved this other guy … 

 

 

[Martin D]

15 minutes ago, Georgia46 said:

Noooo not your fault.  Maybe she is a sex addict. Maybe she loves attention .. maybe it was nothing to do with you maybe she loved this other guy … 

No she was definitely not a sex addict. 

 

 

[Georgia46]

Are you ok though Martin??

although it may have gone bad, she was your wife 

[Martin D]

10 minutes ago, Georgia46 said:

Are you ok though Martin??

although it may have gone bad, she was your wife 

 

Sure! Why not? This has always been in the back of my mind. Even though it wasn't sex , I never really trusted her again. I'm glad we're breaking up.

And I often get attention from women (which I don't really understand), but I never did anything with it when I was married.

Edited September 24 by Martin D

[Georgia46]

It’ll be a relief for you when it’s all over then. 

[basil67]

This was a few years ago and you're already on your way to divorce.  Why do you care now?

Edited September 24 by basil67