chat conversation girlfriend and other guy discovered

[Martin D]

24 minutes ago, basil67 said:

This was a few years ago and you're already on your way to divorce.  Why do you care now?

Because we happened to be talking about it a few days ago. So I started thinking about it again.

[basil67]

2 hours ago, Martin D said:

Because we happened to be talking about it a few days ago. So I started thinking about it again.

The two of you have already decided to break up, so who's dumb idea was it to start poking around in the past discussing things which can't be changed?

Honestly, my advice is to look forward, not backwards

[DoYouLikeWaffles]

20 hours ago, Georgia46 said:

Well I’m going to tell you straight you were not giving her enough bedroom attention if she was looking for it elsewhere.

That isn't always the case. I'm only bringing this up because, don't do this. This is an effective way to shift the blame from a cheater to the one that got cheated on. And it feels horrible enough to get cheated on, before someone starts telling you that you weren't  meeting those needs. My ex husband cheated on me and people asked me that. I have a high sex drive, he did not. ImI was shocked and that question added insult to injury. A friend of mine that knew the two of us well, pointed out shock that it hadn't been me that had cheated considering he was always working and wasn't big on things like date nights. He wanted a relationship, but didn't want to have to put effort into maintaining it.

20 hours ago, Georgia46 said:

Not that it’s any excuse for what she did 

Exactly. There's no excuse for cheating. Break up with your partner first before pursuing others. Or if there is an issue, discuss it with your partner.

[Georgia46]

Just now, DoYouLikeWaffles said:

That isn't always the case. I'm only bringing this up because, don't do this. This is an effective way to shift the blame from a cheater to the one that got cheated on. And it feels horrible enough to get cheated on, before someone starts telling you that you weren't  meeting those needs. My ex husband cheated on me and people asked me that. I have a high sex drive, he did not. ImI was shocked and that question added insult to injury. A friend of mine that knew the two of us well, pointed out shock that it hadn't been me that had cheated considering he was always working and wasn't big on things like date nights. He wanted a relationship, but didn't want to have to put effort into maintaining it.

Exactly. There's no excuse for cheating. Break up with your partner first before pursuing others. Or if there is an issue, discuss it with your partner.

I only say this because I have been a cheater and I have also been cheated on. 
 

Usually the reason for cheating is a selfish one, but sometimes you just meet someone that you fall in love with.   
 

mismatched sex drives, working etc .. drives a wedge.

 

I know how bad it feels when someone cheats on you so I would never want to make the OP feel bad, I was just trying to say it as it usually is. 

[DoYouLikeWaffles]

 

7 hours ago, Georgia46 said:

Usually the reason for cheating is a selfish one, but sometimes you just meet someone that you fall in love with.   
 

mismatched sex drives, working etc .. drives a wedge.

I agree with you on this part. 

7 hours ago, Georgia46 said:

I know how bad it feels when someone cheats on you so I would never want to make the OP feel bad, I was just trying to say it as it usually is. 

And I was just pointing out that when you say they weren't fulfilling them sexually, that can end up being problematic and come across the wrong way. Especially if the reason the cheating partner cheated was due to one of the many other reasons that people cheat. That was all I wanted to get at. 

[Georgia46]

On 9/25/2024 at 11:25 PM, DoYouLikeWaffles said:

 

I agree with you on this part. 

And I was just pointing out that when you say they weren't fulfilling them sexually, that can end up being problematic and come across the wrong way. Especially if the reason the cheating partner cheated was due to one of the many other reasons that people cheat. That was all I wanted to get at. 

 

people cheat because they are usually messed up people, regardless of the fact that there’s no excuse.        
 

I know since you’ve pointed it out i feel like the way I wrote it, it came across as harsh I’ll think before I type.   😎😎