Uptown182 Posted September 24 Share Posted September 24 Had a first date last week, went well. We’ve texted a few times since, then Sunday I notice he’s unmatched me on the dating app, so I just assumed he wasn’t interested anymore which is totally fine by me. Then yesterday he texts asking when I’m free this week, I was hesitant in responding but then just figured why not, and responded with my availability, and he hasn’t responded since. At this point I’m pretty turned off, I don’t know if he’s just using me for an ego boost or what (as he isn’t the most attractive guy, and I’m pretty attractive if I’m being totally honest). I do know he’s only moved here from overseas 3 weeks ago and doesn’t even have his own place yet plus he seems to be extremely busy, which is understandable but I much prefer to date someone who has their life together. I’m just unsure how to proceed, if I don’t hear from him again then there’s nothing for me to do. But if he does end up texting again should I just ignore him or be honest and just say we’re not compatible? Link to post Share on other sites
Georgia46 Posted September 24 Share Posted September 24 Sadly some people on dating sites are just there to play games. My friend has had so much bad luck, even people going as far as setting the date and time to meet and then just going ghost and never replying again. I don’t see the point myself in someone wasting your time genuinely getting to know you if they are messing around, but it happens. Umatching with you after a real date however sounds like a red flag to me. if he text you yesterday and asked if you were free, so far I would give him the benefit of the doubt, it’s only one day and I would wait to see when he replied. his texting should match his level of interest & if it’s low level then - You’ve got better things to do with your time. Remember, only princess treatment is good enough. good luck 😎 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Uptown182 Posted September 24 Author Share Posted September 24 5 minutes ago, Georgia46 said: Sadly some people on dating sites are just there to play games. My friend has had so much bad luck, even people going as far as setting the date and time to meet and then just going ghost and never replying again. I don’t see the point myself in someone wasting your time genuinely getting to know you if they are messing around, but it happens. Umatching with you after a real date however sounds like a red flag to me. if he text you yesterday and asked if you were free, so far I would give him the benefit of the doubt, it’s only one day and I would wait to see when he replied. his texting should match his level of interest & if it’s low level then - You’ve got better things to do with your time. Remember, only princess treatment is good enough. good luck 😎 I think the thing for me is I haven’t been that interested in him to begin with, and now these games he’s playing are just totally turning me off Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted September 24 Share Posted September 24 15 minutes ago, Uptown182 said: but I much prefer to date someone who has their life together. So why did you go on a first date at all ? Don't be your own worse ennemy. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Uptown182 Posted September 24 Author Share Posted September 24 (edited) 3 minutes ago, Gaeta said: So why did you go on a first date at all ? Don't be your own worse ennemy. I didn’t know all this before the first date. I knew he had only been here 3 weeks but I didn’t know how busy he was and that he was staying with a friend until he gets his own place…to be fair these are typically things you find out on the first date anyway Edited September 24 by Uptown182 1 Link to post Share on other sites
happyhorizons Posted September 24 Share Posted September 24 4 minutes ago, Uptown182 said: I think the thing for me is I haven’t been that interested in him to begin with, and now these games he’s playing are just totally turning me off You just said it….. you haven’t been or or or not that interested in him anyway So honestly, there’s no need to pursue things further 2 Link to post Share on other sites
happyhorizons Posted September 24 Share Posted September 24 1 minute ago, Uptown182 said: I didn’t know all this before the first date. I knew he had only been here 3 weeks but I didn’t know how busy he was and that he was staying with a friend until he gets his own place. You didn’t do anything wrong and how could you have known all the particulars prior to your date? in the end, he’s just not a good match for you. It doesn’t seem. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted September 24 Share Posted September 24 Just now, Uptown182 said: I knew he had only been here 3 weeks but I didn’t know how busy he was and that he was staying with a friend until he gets his own place. Just that was enough to not meet him and move to next. You find the guy not attractive, he tells you he just landed in your country, you know enough to pass. Remind yourself you're in the business of finding a boyfriend so ask question BEFORE meeting. I would not have gone on a first date without asking his status in my country, if he had a job, if he had a work permit, his living arrangement, etc 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Georgia46 Posted September 24 Share Posted September 24 If you think he’s unattractive and you aren’t that interested, then I’m unsure why you replied when you were available. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Uptown182 Posted September 24 Author Share Posted September 24 7 minutes ago, Gaeta said: Just that was enough to not meet him and move to next. You find the guy not attractive, he tells you he just landed in your country, you know enough to pass. Remind yourself you're in the business of finding a boyfriend so ask question BEFORE meeting. I would not have gone on a first date without asking his status in my country, if he had a job, if he had a work permit, his living arrangement, etc He moved here for his job, so yes I knew he had a job. I’ve never been on a date with someone who hasn’t had a job. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Uptown182 Posted September 24 Author Share Posted September 24 (edited) 4 minutes ago, Georgia46 said: If you think he’s unattractive and you aren’t that interested, then I’m unsure why you replied when you were available. Attraction and interest can grow, it’s not always instant on the first date. However I never said he was unattractive, I said I wasn’t attracted, two different things and I did find him funny so that was the appeal to me. Edited September 24 by Uptown182 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Georgia46 Posted September 24 Share Posted September 24 (edited) 1 minute ago, Uptown182 said: Attraction and interest can grow, it’s not always instant on the first date. However I never said he was unattractive, I said I wasn’t attracted, two different things. I agree with you totally. You have to get to know someone. someone who can make you laugh is always good wellll.. I’m invested now. I want to know if he replies and what he says 😎 Edited September 24 by Georgia46 1 Link to post Share on other sites
happyhorizons Posted September 24 Share Posted September 24 6 minutes ago, Uptown182 said: Attraction and interest can grow, it’s not always instant on the first date. However I never said he was unattractive, I said I wasn’t attracted, two different things and I did find him funny so that was the appeal to me. Then maybe a second date is a 👍🏻 good idea…. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 24 Share Posted September 24 43 minutes ago, Uptown182 said: Had a first date last week, went well. We’ve texted a few times since, then Sunday I notice he’s unmatched me on the dating app, so I just assumed he wasn’t interested anymore which is totally fine by me. Then yesterday he texts asking when I’m free this week, I was hesitant in responding but then just figured why not, and responded with my availability, and he hasn’t responded since. At this point I’m pretty turned off, I don’t know if he’s just using me for an ego boost or what (as he isn’t the most attractive guy, and I’m pretty attractive if I’m being totally honest). I do know he’s only moved here from overseas 3 weeks ago and doesn’t even have his own place yet plus he seems to be extremely busy, which is understandable but I much prefer to date someone who has their life together. I’m just unsure how to proceed, if I don’t hear from him again then there’s nothing for me to do. But if he does end up texting again should I just ignore him or be honest and just say we’re not compatible? If you're very attractive and he isn't, plus he unmatched you and left you hanging, why do you still want to date him rather than forget him and meet a better man? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Uptown182 Posted September 24 Author Share Posted September 24 1 minute ago, happyhorizons said: Then maybe a second date is a 👍🏻 good idea…. Well yes that’s how I felt right after the first date, but given his unmatch on the app, and his lack of responses im changing my mind Link to post Share on other sites
Author Uptown182 Posted September 24 Author Share Posted September 24 (edited) 1 minute ago, stillafool said: If you're very attractive and he isn't, plus he unmatched you and left you hanging, why do you still want to date him rather than forget him and meet a better man? That’s the thing, I don’t lol. My original post asked if he responds whether I should ignore him or just be honest and say we’re not compatible Edited September 24 by Uptown182 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 24 Share Posted September 24 2 minutes ago, Uptown182 said: My original post asked if he responds whether I should ignore him or just be honest and say we’re not compatible I vote for this^. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Georgia46 Posted September 24 Share Posted September 24 I wouldn’t ignore him, I hate people doing that to me & I just wouldn’t out of respect, it’s not nice. id wait to see what he has to say and go from there. also I know it’s nice to get an instant reply and if your like me, I love all that - but sometimes it’s important to remember that people are actually really busy/ have tons going on and can’t always reply instantly, it doesn’t mean they don’t care. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted September 24 Share Posted September 24 46 minutes ago, Uptown182 said: Had a first date last week, went well. We’ve texted a few times since, then Sunday I notice he’s unmatched me on the dating app, so I just assumed he wasn’t interested anymore which is totally fine by me. Then yesterday he texts asking when I’m free this week, I was hesitant in responding but then just figured why not, and responded with my availability, and he hasn’t responded since. This is not even 24 hours. I think you're jumping the gun a little? Link to post Share on other sites
happyhorizons Posted September 24 Share Posted September 24 Well, I’m not sure a second date would hurt one way or the other and it might actually give you more clarity as to whether you have any compatibility with this man or not. Maybe, just a nice dinner Link to post Share on other sites
FredEire Posted September 25 Share Posted September 25 It's a bit weird that you're so bothered by this that you decided to post on here about it despite not being attracted to him. Is it that he's looking for an ego boost, or that someone you view as in a "lower league" not being that bothered about you hurt your ego? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted September 25 Share Posted September 25 Ignore him. He's been rude. Be rude back and get the last word by sharing no words. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted September 25 Share Posted September 25 What's the saying? All talk and no action makes Jack a dull boy. Something to that effect... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Uptown182 Posted September 25 Author Share Posted September 25 13 hours ago, FredEire said: It's a bit weird that you're so bothered by this that you decided to post on here about it despite not being attracted to him. Is it that he's looking for an ego boost, or that someone you view as in a "lower league" not being that bothered about you hurt your ego? It’s that someone is undeniably blatantly rude, plain and simple. I despise rudeness, I expect to be treated with the same respect I treat others. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 25 Share Posted September 25 Ignore him and move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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