Gaeta Posted September 30 Share Posted September 30 8 hours ago, ann248 said: Nope, home country is Russia, unfortunately. I really can’t believe that I can be loved, because I don’t have any single example in my life when i wouldn’t be left and dumped. In my home country I am considered a leftover due to my age and appearance (short and looking like a kid/teenager) and lack of “femme fatale” traits. It feels scary to date because I already know what the result is going to be, and I feel like I can’t ever love as much as I loved my ex. And also I got completely numb and depressed (sometimes even suicidal) due to constant loneliness and the feeling of being always worse than everyone and being left behind, never chosen. Maybe it’s just an assumption based on what I heard from men from different countries, but I feel like most men would call Russian women prostitutes and gold diggers and would not consider them for a serious relationship, just for ONS Yes, all of this are assumptions. Look around, how many 'femme fatale' do you see! The world is made of regular people. I have a daughter who's curvy and dreams of being skinny and I have a skinny daughter that dreams of being curvy. You know what's sexy? A woman comfortable and confident in her body, no matter the body. Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted September 30 Share Posted September 30 8 hours ago, ann248 said: In my home country I am considered a leftover due to my age and appearance (short and looking like a kid/teenager) and lack of “femme fatale” traits. I find it hard to believe, but if it’s really so, the people of your country need to grow up. Anyone who applies the word “leftover” to a person isn’t a mature human being. Anyone who cares for appearance so much is shallow and superficial. And anyone who thinks that 35 (is that how old you are?) is old is just an idiot. “Femme fatale”? Really? Goodness, who likes that type at all? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted September 30 Share Posted September 30 (edited) I doubt the Russian men identified 35 yo women as left over. I think OP carries that fear from the Asian countries. After checking the statistics 50% of the Russian population is divorced by age 35. There are a lot of unmarried men in that age range. The problem is that men are unreliable because of wars and the phycological problems wars have on them. The statistics are show 41% of women are widows or divorced. OP is far from being the only one not married at 35. Edited September 30 by Gaeta Link to post Share on other sites
Author ann248 Posted September 30 Author Share Posted September 30 8 hours ago, basil67 said: A few posts back @Gaeta asked "So now do you live in a western country?" and you replied "yes". But now you say you live in China I don't know if you're making this up, but if you actually do live in China, then move to the western nation which you said you live in No , I lived, not living there now Link to post Share on other sites
Author ann248 Posted September 30 Author Share Posted September 30 50 minutes ago, Gebidozo said: I find it hard to believe, but if it’s really so, the people of your country need to grow up. Anyone who applies the word “leftover” to a person isn’t a mature human being. Anyone who cares for appearance so much is shallow and superficial. And anyone who thinks that 35 (is that how old you are?) is old is just an idiot. “Femme fatale”? Really? Goodness, who likes that type at all? Most Russian women care a lot about their appearance, they put it as something very very important. They are all so beautiful and attractive and I’m not even 1% close to that Link to post Share on other sites
Author ann248 Posted September 30 Author Share Posted September 30 8 hours ago, basil67 said: A few posts back @Gaeta asked "So now do you live in a western country?" and you replied "yes". But now you say you live in China I don't know if you're making this up, but if you actually do live in China, then move to the western nation which you said you live in I lived there before but I now I don’t live there anymore , I came back home Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted September 30 Share Posted September 30 (edited) 3 hours ago, Gaeta said: OP is far from being the only one not married at 35. She's only 26. On 9/26/2024 at 7:18 AM, ann248 said: And it feels like I'm a bit too old for dating, like a leftover woman, almost 27 years old. Edited September 30 by introverted1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 30 Share Posted September 30 On 9/26/2024 at 11:50 AM, ann248 said: (Mistakenly quoted 2 times) That’s the thing! My ex was always calling me those words that men would usually call Asian women. Like “petite”, “cute” , “adorable” and I felt happy about it until I realized it’s just his yellow fever (I lived in China for a long time and could speak Chinese) and I’m interesting to him only because he projects his “Asian dreams” on me. That’s why i always felt like I’m completely unlovable because of my race and I’m just a projection of his weird fetish. I hated living in Asia because I was forced to and study there and I always met people who would put down white/western/slavic women with exactly the same positive qualities that Asian girls had. Like if a girl is loyal and caring and she’s white the guy won’t date her. But if she’s all the same but Asian, she’ll have a queue of boyfriends. And the girls (at least Chinese ones) I met there were completely the opposite of those “best qualities” that men give them. That’s why I had a feeling that I have to “become Chinese” to deserve love Quite naturally an Asian woman living in Asia will have a lot of Asian men interested in her. Those are probably the women Asian men are looking to partner with, just like most American men want to marry American women. You sound racist. Or maybe it's your extreme jealousy of Asian women. Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted October 1 Share Posted October 1 Well ... seems like you're in a pickle. Maybe spend some time traveling or pursuing an interesting hobby, or hanging around with your friends, and give yourself a break from your unhealthy and very misguided ruminations. You're definitely in no condition to be starting a relationship at this time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted October 1 Share Posted October 1 10 hours ago, ann248 said: Most Russian women care a lot about their appearance, they put it as something very very important. They are all so beautiful and attractive and I’m not even 1% close to that First Asian women, now Russian women… In the end, it’s going to be just “women”. No matter where you live, you’ll always think someone else is more attractive than you. This is the problem. Not Asian women, not Russian women, not men - this mindset of yours. You don’t need men to validate you. You don’t need to compete with anyone to know that you can be loved. You should love yourself first. Believe that you are attractive, accept yourself, start loving your own personality. Do that before you try dating again. Then things will turn for the better. Start with getting rid of the idiotic opinion that you are a “leftover” because of your age. 26! My goodness! You’re basically a kid! And here I was trying to tell you that anyone who thinks 35 is “old” is a moron. There is no age limit for love. I got into the best relationship of my life at the age of 46. Don’t listen to such stupid opinions anymore! 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ann248 Posted October 1 Author Share Posted October 1 5 hours ago, stillafool said: Quite naturally an Asian woman living in Asia will have a lot of Asian men interested in her. Those are probably the women Asian men are looking to partner with, just like most American men want to marry American women. You sound racist. Or maybe it's your extreme jealousy of Asian women. Lol! I don’t find anything racist there , and definitely I’m not jealous of anyone. Probably I was just choosing wrong guys, and they had this weird obsession over Asia. The point is, that people should not be praised or criticized because of their ethnicity. And Asian girls are always praised because of who they are but white girls are always criticized and treated poorly for no reason. People are different and have different personalities, there isn’t anyone who’s “the best” only because of their gender/race/etc. And praising someone out of these characteristics is also racism actually Link to post Share on other sites
spiritedaway2003 Posted October 1 Share Posted October 1 The problem isn't your ex, really. He sounds problematic, but at the end of the day, you're also partly the problem. And you know what? The solution is also in your hands. Learn to love yourself first. Stop the comparison with other women, and the rest will eventually fall into place. You only need to find the right person who's right for you - who cares who find who/what racial/ethnicity men finds to be more attractive. At the end of the day, everyone just wants to find your own unicorn. You can't fit into everyone's ideals. Just be you, flaws and all. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 1 Share Posted October 1 On 9/26/2024 at 9:18 PM, ann248 said: My ex (29 years old) dumped me around 3,5 months ago because he liked Chinese girls and was obsessed with Asia, and I was completely disgusted by all of that. You were disgusted by his attitude, yet you stayed with him. It's nobody's fault but your own that you stay with a guy even though his attitude disgusts you. Also, you mention about men saying how they love how 'tiny and cute' you are. Have you ever told them that you're a grown woman you aren't OK with being infantalised? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ann248 Posted October 1 Author Share Posted October 1 6 hours ago, basil67 said: You were disgusted by his attitude, yet you stayed with him. It's nobody's fault but your own that you stay with a guy even though his attitude disgusts you. Also, you mention about men saying how they love how 'tiny and cute' you are. Have you ever told them that you're a grown woman you aren't OK with being infantalised? He wasn’t like that in the beginning and it only revealed after few months of relationship, plus when you have feelings for someone you forgive them a lot (sometimes too much). I get disgusted when people obsessed with Asia start to attack people who aren’t. It’s like they are forcing others to have the same obsession and don’t even think about the possibility that others might have different interests Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted October 1 Share Posted October 1 12 hours ago, ann248 said: The point is, that people should not be praised or criticized because of their ethnicity. And Asian girls are always praised because of who they are but white girls are always criticized and treated poorly for no reason. Are you kidding me!!! Do you have no academic knowledge that you think white women have it hard the most in this world? 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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