Estranged Husband wants to reconcile after 3 years Long Distance now

[Lolabola11]

My estranged husband and I live states apart and have been separated or broken up if you will, for three plus years. We were together over 12. He has come up to visit every six months with future faking and talking about the future and then just drops off. He did those most recently in July so I did not contact and then he reached out the other day. For the first time he is asking to put all the past behind, doesn't and hasn't been with anyone else, can't and wants to work on our bigger issues and grow old together and work things out. That he loves me dearly, misses me madly and can't imagine his life without me. Then he proceeded to delve into one of our big issues money. The other is where to live as we both want different places but he's willing to compromise. He apologized which is not like him. It wasn't specific which bothered me but subtly heartfelt for him. He stated he wanted to fly to me to talk about how we could heal and move forward. I was open to this and suggested the next day. Crickets .Then the following day I called asking what happened. He said that he was upset over a text I had send. I simply texted I want you to be sure this is what you want and that you are not just coming up for family time and a break from your responsibilities there. I want to be sure you are certain this time. That's all I said that returned the 24 hour silent treatment of which upset me greatly. He said he's asked me before not to text, and why would I question him when he told me he wanted to work things out and get back together. Then began professing his undying love again. He brought up the money issue again and we struggled to get through it but were respectful and said good night. My question is that it's already half passed noon and not one phone call, booked flight or any effort to be here. This is the first time he's been sincere. Last night when I told him to book a ticket, he used the excuse he can't and doesn't know how to do that. True, and that when his assistant arrived in the morning, he would have her do it. What if he calls and didn't follow through? Then what am I suppose to say? Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you

[Gebidozo]

So he “can’t imagine his life without you”, yet doesn’t do anything to actually solve your issues and be with you? It feels like empty talk.

Start taking him seriously only when he gets there and makes every effort to fix things. If he doesn’t, divorce him.

[S2B]

How is anyone expected to put the past behind you without sifting through it all first?

how about he gets honest about what has been happening since he left? What caused him to leave? 
 

what has he changed about himself that makes you want to consider being with him now? 

he needs to show evidence and action that he is committed to you and the relationship! Can he support himself and you with a job? Emotionally how is the connection supposed to be moving forward?

[tzorno]

It's the classic 'the grass wasn't greener on the otherside' deal so he want's to fallback on you again.  He's professing his love and loyalty, but hasen't done a thing but make excuses and argue with you.  

Put the stop sign up and live your life.

[basil67]

If he was being sincere, he would have followed through with positive actions.   But he didn't, so this is just more BS

Get the divorce over and done with

[Leihla_B]

On 9/26/2024 at 12:40 PM, Lolabola11 said:

Then he proceeded to delve into one of our big issues money.

This might all be smoke and mirrors just to manipulate what he wants with this ^^^.

On 9/26/2024 at 12:40 PM, Lolabola11 said:

He brought up the money issue again and we struggled to get through it but were respectful and said good night.

Okay, what's the money issue? Does he want you to sign something?