Is it second thinking or just hormones?

[Ace]

Hey guys, it is me again. It has been awhile since I came to you all for some advice, but I am in a little jam again with the woman. I will try to explain it to you.

 

I have been feeling as if I would rather do things on my own sometimes, like hanging out with my friends, playing on my computer and other things without my 5 year girlfriend. I know that I am allowed to think this way sometimes, but I now find myself constantly looking at other girls and wanting to do things on my own. I still love her alot, but I don't know why I have these thoughts in my head.

 

She found out that I was thinking about this a few days ago and we haven't seen each other since. I still want to see her, it is just not a big deal if I go 3-4 days without seeing her. It doesn't bother me at all. It bothers her because she says that she would like to see me every day.

 

Am I just wanting a break like any guy would or am I thinking that I want more? I really don't know. I know how I feel, but I don't know what it is leading to.

 

Any advice?

 

Adam

[Tony T]

YOU WRITE: "Am I just wanting a break like any guy would or am I thinking that I want more?"

 

So you busted your butt to get this girl back and finally, when you got her where you want her, it's off to the races?

 

You're just like the neighborhood dog who loves to chase cars...but when it finally catches a car it has no idea why it was chasing.

 

If you neglect this girl after sending her the message of how desperately you wanted her, you will lose her.

 

I remember you referring to this girl in your last post as a five-year relationship. Just when did that happen? My memory isn't the greatest but when you posted here months ago about her you never mentioned having been in a relationship with her for that long.

[Ace]

I know, I shouldn't be like this, but I don't know what I am feeling. It is really stupid, I know because I did all that to get her back. I feel like this every once in awhile, but it eventually goes away.

 

I think I am feeling like this because things are getting even more serious with talk of marriage and moving in together. I don't know if I am ready for that yet even after 5 years.

 

Also, she said that she wanted to have sex on our 5 year anniversary, but I declined for the same reason. I just don't know! I don't understand because I think that I should know by now. It is just aggravating why I am feeling like this after all that we have been through.

 

Adam

YOU WRITE: "Am I just wanting a break like any guy would or am I thinking that I want more?" So you busted your butt to get this girl back and finally, when you got her where you want her, it's off to the races? You're just like the neighborhood dog who loves to chase cars...but when it finally catches a car it has no idea why it was chasing. If you neglect this girl after sending her the message of how desperately you wanted her, you will lose her. I remember you referring to this girl in your last post as a five-year relationship. Just when did that happen? My memory isn't the greatest but when you posted here months ago about her you never mentioned having been in a relationship with her for that long.

[sparkle]

Break up with her and don't look back.

[Tony T]

YOU WRITE: "Break up with her and don't look back."

 

Pretty radical solution to this, isn't it? How was your day?

 

I think he ought to look back if she's chasing him with a weapon.

[Ace]

Thank you for the intuitive responses.

 

YOU WRITE: "Break up with her and don't look back." Pretty radical solution to this, isn't it? How was your day? I think he ought to look back if she's chasing him with a weapon.

[Sad]

Wow! You sound just like my boyfriend, now ex boyfriend, of 5 years as well. He said he liked me and wanted to be friends and all but that he was curious about other people and wanted his freedom. He just didn't want to see me as much I did him, and it didn't bother him- just like you said. He first suggested a "break" whatever that is, which turned into him breaking up with me completely. He said he just didn't want any obligations or responsibilites of a relationship. I'm not sure how deep your feelings are for your girlfriend. He told me he was losing feelings for me, so I'm not sure if that is the same thing going on in your situation. He's young, I'm not sure how old you are, but I think alot of this has to do with this- his age and ego. It destroyed me considering this is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I'm pretty sure one day he's going to wake up and be pretty screwed- and I have a feeling you will too. Be careful on how you handle this- most importantly be honest with her and yourself. Good Luck!

Hey guys, it is me again. It has been awhile since I came to you all for some advice, but I am in a little jam again with the woman. I will try to explain it to you. I have been feeling as if I would rather do things on my own sometimes, like hanging out with my friends, playing on my computer and other things without my 5 year girlfriend. I know that I am allowed to think this way sometimes, but I now find myself constantly looking at other girls and wanting to do things on my own. I still love her alot, but I don't know why I have these thoughts in my head. She found out that I was thinking about this a few days ago and we haven't seen each other since. I still want to see her, it is just not a big deal if I go 3-4 days without seeing her. It doesn't bother me at all. It bothers her because she says that she would like to see me every day.

 

Am I just wanting a break like any guy would or am I thinking that I want more? I really don't know. I know how I feel, but I don't know what it is leading to. Any advice? Adam