fred123 Posted September 28 Share Posted September 28 Hi. How do you know when u hold a girls hand how do you know they are holding it back because they want to or are being polite and feel obligated/forced to do so? It seems like the guy should make the first move whether it's holding hands or putting your hand on their thigh when you are sitting down etc. How can a guy know that that's what she wants. I have gone to hold a girls hands and she has held it for 5 minutes whilst walking then I find out that she wasn't into me but felt too polite to let go. Link to post Share on other sites
Nellea Posted September 28 Share Posted September 28 Well, are you dating the girl? Is she your girlfriend? If yes, then by all means try holding her hand… Most girls are totally ok with this and like it. If for some reason she doesn’t, I’m sure she’ll let you know or you’ll be able to tell she felt uncomfortable. If that happens (it probably won’t) then ask her about it. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted September 28 Share Posted September 28 Wait for her to break the touch barrier first. Something like briefly putting her hand on your arm when she's telling you a story...or fixing your collar Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted September 28 Share Posted September 28 You know because you're in a moment where you both feel connected and you feel an energy between the two of you. It's not awkward, forced, or obligated. It just feels natural and right. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author fred123 Posted September 28 Author Share Posted September 28 1 hour ago, Nellea said: Well, are you dating the girl? Is she your girlfriend? If yes, then by all means try holding her hand… Most girls are totally ok with this and like it. If for some reason she doesn’t, I’m sure she’ll let you know or you’ll be able to tell she felt uncomfortable. If that happens (it probably won’t) then ask her about it. No like a first/second/third date Link to post Share on other sites
Author fred123 Posted September 28 Author Share Posted September 28 40 minutes ago, basil67 said: Wait for her to break the touch barrier first. Something like briefly putting her hand on your arm when she's telling you a story...or fixing your collar And if she doesn't break the touch barrier? What if it's a hug? How can a guy decipher between platonic or more from her? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted September 28 Share Posted September 28 3 hours ago, fred123 said: And if she doesn't break the touch barrier? What if it's a hug? How can a guy decipher between platonic or more from her? If she doesn't break the touch barrier by the end of the second date, she's probably not into you. Or is leaving you to do all the legwork without making any effort herself....either way, don't bother further If she hugs you, think about whether its the same kind of hug you'd give your mother....or if she presses more of her body into you. Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted September 28 Share Posted September 28 (edited) 9 hours ago, fred123 said: Hi. How do you know when u hold a girls hand how do you know they are holding it back because they want to or are being polite and feel obligated/forced to do so? It seems like the guy should make the first move whether it's holding hands or putting your hand on their thigh when you are sitting down etc. How can a guy know that that's what she wants. I have gone to hold a girls hands and she has held it for 5 minutes whilst walking then I find out that she wasn't into me but felt too polite to let go. The hesitation and the insecurity that you’re projecting with such questions is what’s causing the confusion. Be confident, and then the question won’t arise at all. Also, I don’t quite understand why you need to hold hands as a prelude to some more decisive actions. Just try the decisive action itself. If you’re ready to take it further and the atmosphere is romantic, just kiss her on the lips. If she kisses you back, then there is no doubt she is into you, nobody would kiss our of politeness. Holding hands is either quite meaningless, or an expression of a deeper, already existing, confirmed mutual affection. That’s why it’s fairly useless as a “testing” gesture, in my opinion. Edited September 28 by Gebidozo Link to post Share on other sites
Leihla_B Posted September 28 Share Posted September 28 Holding hands is fine, but the context counts. It's a pretty neutral move when, say, crossing a street, while it's more romantic across a dinner table. Provided you don't latch on, she's able to break away from it whenever she wants to. Being okay with it doesn't necessarily signify that she's decided whether she'll want another date with you yet, but it's also not likely to prompt her to dislike you for it, either. A hand on the thigh is probably too overboard for a first move. It's an intimate place. There are plenty of more gentle touches you can engage rather than go straight there. There is no one move that will guarantee that someone likes you or not. That's why asking for another date provides your answer. Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted September 28 Share Posted September 28 52 minutes ago, Leihla_B said: There is no one move that will guarantee that someone likes you or not. Well, a romantic kiss on the lips usually does. Then again, I always went for the kiss only when I’d already known that the girl liked me. If she didn’t, I wouldn’t even attempt a kiss, the date would be over and I’d move on right away. If she did, there was no need to hold hands or do any other physical gestures to know that, it was obvious anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Author fred123 Posted September 28 Author Share Posted September 28 Cool some interesting responses. What if after a second date you drop her home and in the car she hugs you and gives a quick half a second peck on the lips and leaves. So not a proper kiss. Also what if on the second date you try to hold her hand and she doesnt want to but then decides she wants to link arms instead? Hard to interpret Link to post Share on other sites
Leihla_B Posted September 28 Share Posted September 28 1 hour ago, fred123 said: Cool some interesting responses. What if after a second date you drop her home and in the car she hugs you and gives a quick half a second peck on the lips and leaves. So not a proper kiss. Also what if on the second date you try to hold her hand and she doesnt want to but then decides she wants to link arms instead? Hard to interpret You don't have to interpret it. Ask her for another date. If she's interested, she'll go out with you again. Or, you can wait to learn whether she'll reciprocate and ask you. There are plenty of women who want to relax with men to get to know you as a human being rather than turn on the sexuality, as though that's the only thing about her that's of any value. This can actually serve as a screening device, where men who are primarily interested in sex will screen themselves out and spare her the investment of trying to bond over anything deeper. You get to decide your own level of patience and interest. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted September 29 Share Posted September 29 15 hours ago, fred123 said: Hard to interpret Don’t interpret. If I tried to interpret all the things that women did with me that I didn’t quite understand, my head would have long exploded by now. There is nothing to interpret. People change their minds, sometimes aren’t sure what they want, do things differently. Stop interpreting and proceed with what you want. Do you like this girl? Then set up a romantic date and kiss her on the lips and keep trying until she either clearly accepts or clearly rejects you. Don’t look into every single detail and stop worrying. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sony12 Posted September 29 Share Posted September 29 This is very very simple. If you kiss a girl and she doesn't tell you to stop there is a good chance she likes the kissing. She may not want to date you and may not want to see you again. But if she doesn't tell you to stop she probably wouldn't mind if you kissed her again. Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted September 29 Share Posted September 29 4 hours ago, Sony12 said: This is very very simple. If you kiss a girl and she doesn't tell you to stop there is a good chance she likes the kissing. She may not want to date you and may not want to see you again. But if she doesn't tell you to stop she probably wouldn't mind if you kissed her again. Yup, that’s exactly what I’m saying. Passionate kissing is the first step. It doesn’t mean the girl is in love. It doesn’t mean she wants a serious relationship. It doesn’t mean she’ll automatically agree to sex. But it does mean that she is physically attracted, at least at that moment. The OP has to pass this barrier before wondering anything else. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted September 29 Share Posted September 29 On 9/28/2024 at 2:23 PM, fred123 said: Also what if on the second date you try to hold her hand and she doesnt want to but then decides she wants to link arms instead? Hard to interpret I'm 5'3" and my bf is 6'3". When he holds my hand l feel like a little girl holding her dad's hand cause my arm is up. I much prefer holding his arms with his elbow folded. She probably feels more secure linking arms especially if she's in high heels. It's a details, it has nothing to do with how she feels about you. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted September 29 Share Posted September 29 On 9/27/2024 at 9:52 PM, fred123 said: or putting your hand on their thigh when you are sitting down etc. You do not touch women that way unless you are a couple. This is not a gesture for the first few dates. Link to post Share on other sites
Sony12 Posted September 29 Share Posted September 29 8 minutes ago, Gaeta said: This is not a gesture for the first few dates. Well that depends. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted September 29 Share Posted September 29 1 hour ago, Sony12 said: Well that depends. True. If you know you're both burning hot for each other, you could get away with it. But it's not to be tried if you can't figure out when to hold her hand. You've gotta be able to read chemistry if you're going to put your hand on her thigh 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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