prnces1 Posted January 4, 2006 Share Posted January 4, 2006 Well hello. I am new to this so please bear with me! My husband of 4 years and i are separating. We both knew it was coming and neither of us are very hopeful on getting back together. We are still being civil with eachother and would like to keep it that way. My thing is, we have a 3 year old son together and i am worried about how this is going to affect him. That and my husbands mother has never really cared for me and she is no help through any of this. He has admitted to seeing somone else and it isn't the first time. But yet i feel bad for having feelings for a very close friend of mine. He has been there for me through most of this but now his job has taken him to a different state. Now i feel SO alone. I know i have my son and i always will but i can't really look to him for advice or vent my feeling to him when i need to! So, anyone with any insight on this, I am all ears! Thanks so much!! Link to post Share on other sites
Zetter Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 I'm not sure if it will help, but I understand your guilt. I felt guilty about not being there for my wife after SHE left ME. Strange feeling. The most important thing right now is that you recognize the need to move on, and you focus your energy on yourself and your son. I highly recommed going to see a counselor. I benefitted greatly from it - just having someone to vent to, to talk to, and someone who is educated in the areas of helping others to cope, grow, get stronger, etc. For several months it was the highlight of my week. I really looked forward to talking to someone who understood my situation, and gave me sound advice on how to deal with my loss and resulting weird place in life. I promise you it will get better, slowly but surely. I keep telling myself that i will look back on this and laugh one day. Maybe that isn't true, but I think you will certainly look back one day and pride yourself in knowing that you were dealt a bad hand and were able to perservere with raising a child and finding happiness for yourself. My dad left my mom with 2 little boys after 17 years of marriage, and I didn't understand how strong she was until I went through it (2 year marriage with no children and it crushed me). She has never been happier, and spends every day with my step-dad and lives life like it's meant to be lived. Keep posting, it is very important to keep getting everything out as you need to learn from this and heal so you can move on without pent up feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
Mistaken Identity Posted January 8, 2006 Share Posted January 8, 2006 I've been told that young kids won't remember their parents' divorce or be too traumatically affected. I don't know if that's true or not... Link to post Share on other sites
slubberdegullion Posted January 8, 2006 Share Posted January 8, 2006 Actually, Mistaken Identity is on to something. It seems that I saw recently somewhere that a child from a one-parent family is better off than a child from a dysfunctional two-parent family. If I can find a link to the story I'll post it. Link to post Share on other sites
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