Is this something a guy says to a girl if he's interested in her.

[Leihla_B]

We're heading into mid-October and he hasn't asked to meet yet?

I'd pull back and let him step up. An hour away means a half hour away for each of you, and unless he's interested in doing that, he'd be of no interest to me.

[riversidemf]

3 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

AH Ok! and at that party did you 2 interact, was there a bit of flirting? 

I am trying to hear something about him liking you 'that way'. Sounds like even after you made the big plunge and contacted him on social media, he was not going to reciprocate and keep in touch with you. It sounds like you're forcing things a little. 

I would not reply to him today. That's for sure. 

 

At the parties we do interact. He always tends to be around me and my friend. No flirting.

[riversidemf]

2 minutes ago, Leihla_B said:

We're heading into mid-October and he hasn't asked to meet yet?

I'd pull back and let him step up. An hour away means a half hour away for each of you, and unless he's interested in doing that, he'd be of no interest to me.

He said he wants me to come into "his world" and go for a ride with him. His hobbies are fast cars/vehicles, he fixes them to go fast and loud. But I've declined because that's scary to me. He can invite me to a car show or something. I won't be getting into a vehicle with him. Until then yeah no date or anything.

[Gaeta]

2 hours ago, riversidemf said:

He said he wants me to come into "his world" 

Is he interested in your world?  He seems to be looking for an audiance, not so much interested into getting to know you?

 

[Gebidozo]

3 hours ago, riversidemf said:

My dignity, no?

You are afraid to lose your dignity by sending a cute GIF or whatever to a guy you’re interested in?

You and I must have a very different understanding of what “dignity” means. You aren’t sending him a message saying that you’ll commit crimes for him or become his third wife. If you’re interested in a guy, don’t be afraid to show it.

Also, I don’t get this obsession with prolonged texting. Texting can’t forward romance much, meeting and talking face to face can. You guys should meet already.

[Gaeta]

11 minutes ago, Gebidozo said:

You guys should meet already

I don't think he has a romantic interest in her. Three messages in 2 weeks all initiated by her. Except for yesterday

[Gebidozo]

19 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

I don't think he has a romantic interest in her. Three messages in 2 weeks all initiated by her. Except for yesterday

I thought he invited the OP to some car thing and she declined. Did the OP suggest an alternative scenario for the date? He might think that she isn’t interested in him. 

Anyway, no way to know for sure until they meet.

[riversidemf]

1 hour ago, Gaeta said:

Is he interested in your world?  He seems to be looking for an audiance, not so much interested into getting to know you?

 

I know. I noticed our conversations are mostly jokes. We're just ongoing bantering with eachother. He actually ended up texting me earlier with a trending tik tok pick up line, i laughed and didnt reply back to his last text.

But I'm exhausted with the jokes. I want deeper conversations. I noticed he knows my middle name, when I have never told him, but I figured he found out somewhere on social media. So I asked him what his is and he wouldn't tell me, he said he would tell me "eventually". 

 

 

[riversidemf]

33 minutes ago, Gebidozo said:

I thought he invited the OP to some car thing and she declined. Did the OP suggest an alternative scenario for the date? He might think that she isn’t interested in him. 

Anyway, no way to know for sure until they meet.

 

35 minutes ago, Gebidozo said:

I thought he invited the OP to some car thing and she declined. Did the OP suggest an alternative scenario for the date? He might think that she isn’t interested in him. 

Anyway, no way to know for sure until they meet.

I said that he keeps asking me to go for a ride. I declined. If he wants me in that world where his hobbies are at, he can invite me to a car show or something. 

[riversidemf]

1 hour ago, Gaeta said:

I don't think he has a romantic interest in her. Three messages in 2 weeks all initiated by her. Except for yesterday

He ended up initiating today.

Edited October 11 by riversidemf

[Leihla_B]

3 hours ago, riversidemf said:

He said he wants me to come into "his world" and go for a ride with him. His hobbies are fast cars/vehicles, he fixes them to go fast and loud. But I've declined because that's scary to me. He can invite me to a car show or something. I won't be getting into a vehicle with him. Until then yeah no date or anything.

I'm with @Gaeta. Sure, he'd like you to join his audience, but beyond that, he's not pursuing anything romantic or focusing on you at all. I'd let him slide. If he ever reflects and opts to pursue you as an actual date, then he'll make sure you're the first to know. Otherwise, he's all about 'him' and selling himself to a potential follower. Skip that.

[Gaeta]

There is something very juvenile about this man. It's like he's a 14 yo boy.

[Alpacalia]

5 hours ago, Leihla_B said:

We're heading into mid-October and he hasn't asked to meet yet?

I'd pull back and let him step up. An hour away means a half hour away for each of you, and unless he's interested in doing that, he'd be of no interest to me.

He asked her to road bike with her but she declined (I think) because she thought it was a bit too dangerous for her liking. Albeit, I don't think that qualifies as a date in the traditional sense. OP, he hasn't exactly asked you out.

Right now it just sounds like flirting.

 

 

 

[riversidemf]

1 minute ago, Alpacalia said:

He asked her to road bike with her but she declined (I think) because she thought it was a bit too dangerous for her liking. Albeit, I don't think that qualifies as a date in the traditional sense. OP, he hasn't exactly asked you out.

Right now it just sounds like flirting.

 

 

 

Exactly this.

[Gaeta]

Not a very nice flirting if you ask me. How can it be considered flirting when the man has not even given her a compliment. It's flirting to say 'come into my world of fast car and reckless driving'.🤢

 

[riversidemf]

21 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

Not a very nice flirting if you ask me. How can it be considered flirting when the man has not even given her a compliment. It's flirting to say 'come into my world of fast car and reckless driving'.🤢

 

You thought he was flirting in this thread. Do you still see it that way?

[Gaeta]

32 minutes ago, riversidemf said:

You thought he was flirting in this thread. Do you still see it that way?

You won't get hurt around me yes at that time that was flirting. But then 2 weeks went by, he did not initiate communication in those 2 weeks (you were) then the day before he contacted you. That's 3 communication in 2 weeks. In those communications you confirmed he's not looking to learn about you but it's mostly about him and his stuff. 

Now that we have a 2 week context, I would say that You won't get hurt around me was not so much flirting but he was again being the center of attention by throwing compliments at himself. It was not about protecting you. 

[riversidemf]

We havent talkes since. Normally he would be the first to view my stories but he's not even looking at them now. 😩

I want to text him but I'm so scared of rejection.

[Alpacalia]

I would just view this as two people that occasionally keep in touch. He's not exactly pursuing you. So, if you're okay with that, text away!

[basil67]

38 minutes ago, riversidemf said:

We havent talkes since. Normally he would be the first to view my stories but he's not even looking at them now. 😩

I want to text him but I'm so scared of rejection.

This is where personal resilience is important

Life is risk.  Every time you try something new, there's a risk of failure or rejection.  Applying for a job, asking someone out, meeting new friends, trying a new activity.   The way to stop being scared of things going wrong is to take more risks.  You'll learn that it's not the end of the world and you'll recover.   It's the stuff which we learn at school if we have parents who allow us to fail: forget your lunch, forget your homework, forget your gym sneakers, sleep in and run late for school....it's uncomfortable, but you get over it.   This then translates into the rest of your life

Edited October 15 by basil67

[Gebidozo]

1 hour ago, riversidemf said:

I want to text him but I'm so scared of rejection.

The very first thing you need to do before you attempt a romantic relationship is make sure you aren’t scared of rejection.

Mental toughness is a state of mind. It doesn’t matter how many text messages you send or don’t send; if you have fear, you aren’t ready. 

Failure is an inseparable part of life. Being scared of failure is like being scared of living.

Edited October 15 by Gebidozo

[riversidemf]

3 hours ago, Alpacalia said:

I would just view this as two people that occasionally keep in touch. He's not exactly pursuing you. So, if you're okay with that, text away!

 

2 hours ago, Gebidozo said:

The very first thing you need to do before you attempt a romantic relationship is make sure you aren’t scared of rejection.

Mental toughness is a state of mind. It doesn’t matter how many text messages you send or don’t send; if you have fear, you aren’t ready. 

Failure is an inseparable part of life. Being scared of failure is like being scared of living.

 

3 hours ago, basil67 said:

This is where personal resilience is important

Life is risk.  Every time you try something new, there's a risk of failure or rejection.  Applying for a job, asking someone out, meeting new friends, trying a new activity.   The way to stop being scared of things going wrong is to take more risks.  You'll learn that it's not the end of the world and you'll recover.   It's the stuff which we learn at school if we have parents who allow us to fail: forget your lunch, forget your homework, forget your gym sneakers, sleep in and run late for school....it's uncomfortable, but you get over it.   This then translates into the rest of your life

Thanks for the encouragement and wise words.

[riversidemf]

He reacts to my brothers posts and ignores mine. I love that for me. 

Edited October 15 by riversidemf

[Leihla_B]

14 minutes ago, riversidemf said:

He reacts to my brothers posts and ignores mine. I love that for me. 

Sorry to hear that. Sounds like this guy is all about his biking. If he can recruit your brothers to join him in that, great, he has riding buddies. Is that what you want to be to him?

[riversidemf]

5 minutes ago, Leihla_B said:

Sorry to hear that. Sounds like this guy is all about his biking. If he can recruit your brothers to join him in that, great, he has riding buddies. Is that what you want to be to him?

This is new, him not reacting to my posts or even viewing them. He's usually the first one.

Cars, fast vehicles, car shows, fixing cars, is his hobby, that's what brings him joy. I wouldn't mind being in that world as long as I'm not in danger, I can be a passenger princess, which he has said he would not speed with me.

He fixed his car himself. It looks like he took an older car, modernized it and made it into a loud sports car. It's actually impressive he did that himself.