Loneliness

[SurfCity]

Does your mom still do things for you like cook, clean your room, clean the house, laundry, grocery shop etc? 

Will you stop receiving a stipend when your mother passes away? 

Are you open to trying new hobbies like hiking, going to coffee shops, or playing sports like pickle ball or golf?

[DanielKla1984]

10 minutes ago, semble said:

That's a rather odd statement. That's like saying you don't brush you teeth because you don't like toothbrushes.

The unemployment sounds like an excuse. Is no one working in your country?

Cars in my country are expensive to buy and keep.

[DanielKla1984]

5 minutes ago, SurfCity said:

Does your mom still do things for you like cook, clean your room, clean the house, laundry, grocery shop etc? 

Will you stop receiving a stipend when your mother passes away? 

Are you open to trying new hobbies like hiking, going to coffee shops, or playing sports like pickle ball or golf?

Yes. My mother still cooks and cleans. I help her. I run errands, go to the grocery and pay bills. Yes, when my mother passes there will be no pension anymore Yes, I am open to try things I am interested in. 

Edited October 3 by DanielKla1984
Grammar mistake

[basil67]

31 minutes ago, DanielKla1984 said:

Yes. My mother still cooks and cleans. I help her. I run errands, go to the grocery and pay bills. Yes, when my mother passes there will be no pension anymore Yes, I am open to try things I am interested in. 

Your mother is 80 and you are unemployed.  You should be doing MOST of the cooking, cleaning and errand runs.  

[semble]

2 hours ago, DanielKla1984 said:

Cars in my country are expensive to buy and keep.

Ok so it's not about you not "liking" cars, it's that cars are too expensive especially given that you don't have a job.

You need to communicate more clearly, and get a job.

[semble]

4 hours ago, DanielKla1984 said:

I am willing to accept a girl who is not virgin so long as she commits to be my life partner. 

This isn't about what you're "willing to accept". It's not like the girls are lining up around the corner and you have all these choices.

Literally no one is interested in you therefore you are in no position to be so discriminating about who will have the honor to be your partner.

It's sort of like the jobless thing, and you saying "I'd be willing to accept a job that gives great benefits, only requires working 20 hours per week with a lot of breaks, and I only have to use my right hand".

 

[SurfCity]

3 hours ago, DanielKla1984 said:

My mother still cooks and cleans. I help her. I run errands, go to the grocery and pay bills.

You should be doing 99% of the cleaning.

If your mother insists on cooking for you, you should let her cook light and easy meals only like toast for breakfast and you should clean up afterwards. You should cook ALL the other meals for both of you and clean up afterwards.

Have you ever worked/had a job as an adult? Do you have any education or training in a specific field? What kind of job are you looking for? 

Do you feel a sense of urgency to change your life/situation or are you basically content with things as they are now?

[Gebidozo]

6 hours ago, DanielKla1984 said:

I am willing to accept a girl who is not virgin so long as she commits to be my life partner. 

I don’t think you should be starting out with such big requirements. You’re saying you can’t get a date. You don’t sound like a very independent person, you don’t have a job, you aren’t doing anything that would particularly excite or attract a young woman. So I don’t think you should be thinking of life commitment right now. Just start getting out, meeting women, initiate something, get a little bit of romance, see what happens.

You see, if you just put yourself out there saying that you’re a 40-year old virgin who still lives with his parents, doesn’t have a job, doesn’t do anything particularly interesting, and your best qualities are being polite and respectful and not having some horrible habits, but you want life commitment, and you are just “willing to accept” someone who isn’t a virgin at the age of 30 - you’ll have slim chances, because what you want is disproportional to what you’re offering.

Start small, get to know and understand women, acquire some experience, don’t expect too much, loosen up, and you’ll begin to feel better after a while.

[DanielKla1984]

2 hours ago, Gebidozo said:

I don’t think you should be starting out with such big requirements. You’re saying you can’t get a date. You don’t sound like a very independent person, you don’t have a job, you aren’t doing anything that would particularly excite or attract a young woman. So I don’t think you should be thinking of life commitment right now. Just start getting out, meeting women, initiate something, get a little bit of romance, see what happens.

You see, if you just put yourself out there saying that you’re a 40-year old virgin who still lives with his parents, doesn’t have a job, doesn’t do anything particularly interesting, and your best qualities are being polite and respectful and not having some horrible habits, but you want life commitment, and you are just “willing to accept” someone who isn’t a virgin at the age of 30 - you’ll have slim chances, because what you want is disproportional to what you’re offering.

Start small, get to know and understand women, acquire some experience, don’t expect too much, loosen up, and you’ll begin to feel better after a while.

I am really worried that if I get older it will be even harder to meet a woman who can have children. 

[DanielKla1984]

2 hours ago, Gebidozo said:

I don’t think you should be starting out with such big requirements. You’re saying you can’t get a date. You don’t sound like a very independent person, you don’t have a job, you aren’t doing anything that would particularly excite or attract a young woman. So I don’t think you should be thinking of life commitment right now. Just start getting out, meeting women, initiate something, get a little bit of romance, see what happens.

You see, if you just put yourself out there saying that you’re a 40-year old virgin who still lives with his parents, doesn’t have a job, doesn’t do anything particularly interesting, and your best qualities are being polite and respectful and not having some horrible habits, but you want life commitment, and you are just “willing to accept” someone who isn’t a virgin at the age of 30 - you’ll have slim chances, because what you want is disproportional to what you’re offering.

Start small, get to know and understand women, acquire some experience, don’t expect too much, loosen up, and you’ll begin to feel better after a while.

My country is sunk in a massive economic crisis. There is no job. Most people have problems with basic things such as rent and food. 

[DanielKla1984]

2 hours ago, Gebidozo said:

Start small, get to know and understand women, acquire some experience, don’t expect too much, loosen up, and you’ll begin to feel better after a while.

I can't even get something small. I apologize if some things are not clear enough. 

[DanielKla1984]

3 hours ago, SurfCity said:

You should be doing 99% of the cleaning.

If your mother insists on cooking for you, you should let her cook light and easy meals only like toast for breakfast and you should clean up afterwards. You should cook ALL the other meals for both of you and clean up afterwards.

Have you ever worked/had a job as an adult? Do you have any education or training in a specific field? What kind of job are you looking for? 

Do you feel a sense of urgency to change your life/situation or are you basically content with things as they are now?

No I haven't worked as an adult because I had mental illness problems. I have been struggling with anxiety and depression for many years. 

[DanielKla1984]

4 hours ago, semble said:

Ok so it's not about you not "liking" cars, it's that cars are too expensive especially given that you don't have a job.

You need to communicate more clearly, and get a job.

I apologize if I am not clear enough. English is not my first language. 

[Gaeta]

35 minutes ago, DanielKla1984 said:

My country is sunk in a massive economic crisis. There is no job. Most people have problems with basic things such as rent and food. 

How will you support a wife and children? You said you've never worked, do you receive disability money from your government? 

[DanielKla1984]

5 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

How will you support a wife and children? You said you've never worked, do you receive disability money from your government? 

I have a disability certificate and I am about to begin with formalities to receive money from the government. 

Edited October 3 by DanielKla1984
Grammar mistake

[Gaeta]

39 minutes ago, DanielKla1984 said:

My country is sunk in a massive economic crisis.

I would not call that a massive economic crisis. The unemployment rate in Argentina is now 7.6%. It was 6.13% last year. Your unemployment rate is similar the Western countries out there. France unemployment rate is 7.3%, Finland 7.5% and Canada 6.8%. We are FAR from talking massive economic crisis here. 

[Gebidozo]

46 minutes ago, DanielKla1984 said:

I am really worried that if I get older it will be even harder to meet a woman who can have children. 

Obviously. But do you really want to plunge straight from virginity and zero experience in relationships into a marriage with children at the age of 40?

You still have time. Start dating, and maybe after 5 or so years you’ll find a woman who’d still want kids. Maybe even after 10 years - you’ll be 50, you might meet a woman in her late 30’s who would want kids. That’s a lot of time to gather some experience.

[DanielKla1984]

2 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

I would not call that a massive economic crisis. The unemployment rate in Argentina is now 7.6%. It was 6.13% last year. Your unemployment rate is similar the Western countries out there. France unemployment rate is 7.3%, Finland 7.5% and Canada 6.8%. We are FAR from talking massive economic crisis here.

Numbers can be tricky sometimes and don't reflect the real situation here. Every day factories, shops, companies are closing their doors. Believe me. I live here and I am not exaggerating or lying. 

[Gebidozo]

39 minutes ago, DanielKla1984 said:

I can't even get something small. I apologize if some things are not clear enough. 

You can’t arrange a date with a woman? Ask a woman out for a coffee, for a nice dinner, go to a movie or a concert or a museum together, see how it goes? 

[DanielKla1984]

4 minutes ago, Gebidozo said:

Obviously. But do you really want to plunge straight from virginity and zero experience in relationships into a marriage with children at the age of 40?

You still have time. Start dating, and maybe after 5 or so years you’ll find a woman who’d still want kids. Maybe even after 10 years - you’ll be 50, you might meet a woman in her late 30’s who would want kids. That’s a lot of time to gather some experience.

Problem is I don't want to sleep with other women than my life partner. 

[DanielKla1984]

11 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

I would not call that a massive economic crisis. The unemployment rate in Argentina is now 7.6%. It was 6.13% last year. Your unemployment rate is similar the Western countries out there. France unemployment rate is 7.3%, Finland 7.5% and Canada 6.8%. We are FAR from talking massive economic crisis here. 

Poverty rates 53% and indigence 18%. Inflation last year: 300%. 

[Gaeta]

18 minutes ago, DanielKla1984 said:

I have a disability certificate and I am about to begin with formalities to receive money from the government. 

Poverty rates 53% and indigence 18%. Inflation last year: 300%. 

Will that disability be enough to pay groceries to several people, buy diapers & formula, register kids to sports, pay utilities. The question is: Are your dreams realistic?

Edited October 3 by Gaeta

[DanielKla1984]

47 minutes ago, Gebidozo said:

You can’t arrange a date with a woman? Ask a woman out for a coffee, for a nice dinner, go to a movie or a concert or a museum together, see how it goes? 

I don't have female friends to ask them out for a coffee. I almost have zero contact with younger women. And here if you approach a woman in the street they get suspicious because there is violence against women. 

Edited October 3 by DanielKla1984
Grammar mistake

[Gebidozo]

41 minutes ago, DanielKla1984 said:

I don't have female friends to ask them out for a coffee. I almost have zero contact with younger women. And here if you approach a woman in the street they get suspicious because there is violence against women. 

Sorry, man… I don’t know how to help you. I have many younger women around me, in fact so many and they are so nice to me that sometimes I have to watch it that I behave appropriately and don’t get flirty. And I have never using online dating. From what I understand, online dating makes things even easier. Perhaps you should try that.

[DanielKla1984]

1 minute ago, Gebidozo said:

Sorry, man… I don’t know how to help you. I have many younger women around me, in fact so many and they are so nice to me that sometimes I have to watch it that I behave appropriately and don’t get flirty. And I have never using online dating. From what I understand, online dating makes things even easier. Perhaps you should try that.

Yes. I am trying on dating apps. I've chatted with some women.