Loneliness

[DanielKla1984]

6 minutes ago, Gebidozo said:

Sorry, man… I don’t know how to help you. I have many younger women around me, in fact so many and they are so nice to me that sometimes I have to watch it that I behave appropriately and don’t get flirty. And I have never using online dating. From what I understand, online dating makes things even easier. Perhaps you should try that.

 No problem. I wanted to get other viewpoints. Thank you for reading me. I much appreciate your time and attention. 

[Gebidozo]

2 hours ago, DanielKla1984 said:

 No problem. I wanted to get other viewpoints. Thank you for reading me. I much appreciate your time and attention. 

No worries. Take it easy and don’t panic. You’re still young and you have plenty of time to find the right woman. Just make sure to be active and keep connecting to women. Don’t expect too much, have no fear, be open and giving and sincere and vulnerable, live in the moment. Project confidence and warmth and generosity, and don’t demand too much. Best of luck to you!

[DanielKla1984]

56 minutes ago, Gebidozo said:

No worries. Take it easy and don’t panic. You’re still young and you have plenty of time to find the right woman. Just make sure to be active and keep connecting to women. Don’t expect too much, have no fear, be open and giving and sincere and vulnerable, live in the moment. Project confidence and warmth and generosity, and don’t demand too much. Best of luck to you!

Thank you. Have a good life. 

[DanielKla1984]

4 hours ago, Gaeta said:

Poverty rates 53% and indigence 18%. Inflation last year: 300%. 

Will that disability be enough to pay groceries to several people, buy diapers & formula, register kids to sports, pay utilities. The question is: Are your dreams realistic?

I don't know if they are realistic. I feel so discouraged. 

[mark clemson]

It's nice that you are handsome. It seems odd though, because I think if you were genuinely handsome at least SOME women would have "given you a chance" and you wouldn't be 40 and never in a relationship. Perhaps your looks improved later in life (ie.you started attending to them more?)  At any rate it sounds like you need to turn to addressing the other issues I mention.

15 hours ago, DanielKla1984 said:

I am willing to accept a girl who is not virgin so long as she commits to be my life partner. 

Typically, romance is not a business negotiation. Marriage is, in theory, a commitment to being a life partner. However, getting there is a process and for most of us it's an extended process - of interest, bonding, intimacy, cohabitation, establishing compatibility on a wide variety of parameters, etc, etc.

You seem to be putting the cart WAY before the horse here.  Perhaps an arranged marriage or mail-order bride (or possibly a gold-digger) would work for the way you appear to think, but you generally need money for that.

[mark clemson]

12 minutes ago, DanielKla1984 said:

I don't know if they are realistic. I feel so discouraged. 

TBQH, your views and mindset being at odds with practical reality probably do have a lot to do with how you ended up "here". If you are unable/unwilling to change and adapt to the world as it actually is, the truth is you are not likely to have much success.

[Gaeta]

11 minutes ago, DanielKla1984 said:

I don't know if they are realistic. I feel so discouraged. 

Why don't you just start with trying to meet a lady. You are lonely and want a companion that's understandable. Start with finding someone to date. Put aside the marriage & kids for now. You have no idea what a relationship is and there you are wanting marriage and kids. Relationships are all about compromising and meeting in the middle and you are not open to that, you said that yourself. 

[DanielKla1984]

3 minutes ago, mark clemson said:

It's nice that you are handsome. It seems odd though, because I think if you were genuinely handsome at least SOME women would have "given you a chance" and you wouldn't be 40 and never in a relationship. Perhaps your looks improved later in life (ie.you started attending to them more?)  At any rate it sounds like you need to turn to addressing the other issues I mention.

Typically, romance is not a business negotiation. Marriage is, in theory, a commitment to being a life partner. However, getting there is a process and for most of us it's an extended process - of interest, bonding, intimacy, cohabitation, establishing compatibility on a wide variety of parameters, etc, etc.

You seem to be putting the cart WAY before the horse here.  Perhaps an arranged marriage or mail-order bride (or possibly a gold-digger) would work for the way you appear to think, but you generally need money for that.

I am pretty handsome. Not a superstar, but I am not ugly: 5' 9",Slim, White skin, black hair, brown eyes. Do you want to see a photo? The problem is that I am not super social and my lifestyle doesn't fit much with most people. I am a pretty conservative man. 

[Gaeta]

Just now, DanielKla1984 said:

I am a pretty conservative man. 

How did you become this much conservative? You said you were not like that before. 

[mark clemson]

Photos are against the rules of this forum.

Generally, being handsome will "get your foot in the door" in terms of generating initial interest from women. However, one must back this up with what you might call "psychological" attractiveness e.g. of confidence and/or good social skills.

The degree of handsome you are/may be is clearly not enough to go against the overall current of things for you, so other things will need to change or be attempted.

[DanielKla1984]

2 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

How did you become this much conservative? You said you were not like that before. 

I don't know. I was not raised very strict. As I said yesterday I always had freedom to do what I wanted but it's just I didn't feel like doing what other did. 

[DanielKla1984]

6 minutes ago, mark clemson said:

Photos are against the rules of this forum.

Generally, being handsome will "get your foot in the door" in terms of generating initial interest from women. However, one must back this up with what you might call "psychological" attractiveness e.g. of confidence and/or good social skills.

The degree of handsome you are/may be is clearly not enough to go against the overall current of things for you, so other things will need to change or be attempted.

Lack of social skills and interaction with women. 

Edited October 3 by DanielKla1984
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[Gaeta]

1 minute ago, DanielKla1984 said:

I don't know

I don't know is not an answer when we're an adult. We should be able to verbalize why we have preferences, and be able to articulate when we felt a change in us and why that change made us feel better. Why don't you think about it for a moment, see when you started having those extra-conservative thoughts, maybe it started with reading extreme-right articles online.

[semble]

11 minutes ago, DanielKla1984 said:

I am pretty handsome. 

Who says you're pretty handsome besides you and your mother? 
 

Because the two of you don't count. 

[DanielKla1984]

3 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

I don't know is not an answer when we're an adult. We should be able to verbalize why we have preferences, and be able to articulate when we felt a change in us and why that change made us feel better. Why don't you think about it for a moment, see when you started having those extra-conservative thoughts, maybe it started with reading extreme-right articles online.

No. I didn't read any articles online. When I was a child I didn't have friends because other kids seemed to be rude and they used swear words and they did things I didn't like. 

[DanielKla1984]

6 minutes ago, semble said:

Who says you're pretty handsome besides you and your mother? 
 

Because the two of you don't count. 

If we were in another platform. I would send you one of my photos. 

[DanielKla1984]

34 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

Why don't you just start with trying to meet a lady. You are lonely and want a companion that's understandable. Start with finding someone to date. Put aside the marriage & kids for now. You have no idea what a relationship is and there you are wanting marriage and kids. Relationships are all about compromising and meeting in the middle and you are not open to that, you said that yourself. 

I am trying on dating apps. 

[Gaeta]

Just now, DanielKla1984 said:

If we were in another platform. I would send you one of my photos. 

That does not matter! You can be the most handsome man of Argentina, women will not date you if you have unrealistic expectations, and if you are extra-conservative like you're saying then you may be single the next 40 years as well. This is 2024 and women don't want to live like in 1954 anymore.

[DanielKla1984]

7 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

That does not matter! You can be the most handsome man of Argentina, women will not date you if you have unrealistic expectations, and if you are extra-conservative like you're saying then you may be single the next 40 years as well. This is 2024 and women don't want to live like in 1954 anymore.

I don't like the world I live in. I never liked it but I have to live in it. 

[DanielKla1984]

54 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

Why don't you just start with trying to meet a lady. You are lonely and want a companion that's understandable. Start with finding someone to date. Put aside the marriage & kids for now. You have no idea what a relationship is and there you are wanting marriage and kids. Relationships are all about compromising and meeting in the middle and you are not open to that, you said that yourself. 

I am not against meeting a lady. But I don't want to sleep with her until a life commitment. And most women wouldn't wait. 

[DanielKla1984]

1 hour ago, mark clemson said:

It's nice that you are handsome. It seems odd though, because I think if you were genuinely handsome at least SOME women would have "given you a chance" and you wouldn't be 40 and never in a relationship. Perhaps your looks improved later in life (ie.you started attending to them more?)  At any rate it sounds like you need to turn to addressing the other issues I mention.

Typically, romance is not a business negotiation. Marriage is, in theory, a commitment to being a life partner. However, getting there is a process and for most of us it's an extended process - of interest, bonding, intimacy, cohabitation, establishing compatibility on a wide variety of parameters, etc, etc.

You seem to be putting the cart WAY before the horse here.  Perhaps an arranged marriage or mail-order bride (or possibly a gold-digger) would work for the way you appear to think, but you generally need money for that.

I give up. So long as she commits to stay together for life, it doesn't matter if she is virgin or not. An arranged marriage would be a good idea but sadly I am poor. 

[DanielKla1984]

42 minutes ago, DanielKla1984 said:

I don't like the culture I live in. I never liked it but I have to live in it. 

 

[SurfCity]

You can put your picture as your profile pic, that isn't against the rules. 

My opinion is that you shouldn't focus on dating at all right now, you should focus on getting a job and being a responsible adult.

What do you do all day? It sounds like you're living like you're 10 years old on summer break. A responsible adult provides for themselves and maintains their living space... you let your 80 yr old mother cook and clean for you and you use her money to pay bills.

It's not at all realistic for a 40 yr old man who lives with his mom who's never had a job and never dated and who has no friends to find a younger woman to date, marry, and have kids with. That is extremely unlikely to happen. 

I think that the only way out of this situation is to start working. Do you have any education or training? If the answer is no, see if there are any government programs that will pay for your education and once you become self sufficient, you can start looking for someone to date. I think that you'll have the most success looking to date someone your age or older. 

[DanielKla1984]

14 minutes ago, SurfCity said:

You can put your picture as your profile pic, that isn't against the rules. 

My opinion is that you shouldn't focus on dating at all right now, you should focus on getting a job and being a responsible adult.

What do you do all day? It sounds like you're living like you're 10 years old on summer break. A responsible adult provides for themselves and maintains their living space... you let your 80 yr old mother cook and clean for you and you use her money to pay bills.

It's not at all realistic for a 40 yr old man who lives with his mom who's never had a job and never dated and who has no friends to find a younger woman to date, marry, and have kids with. That is extremely unlikely to happen. 

I think that the only way out of this situation is to start working. Do you have any education or training? If the answer is no, see if there are any government programs that will pay for your education and once you become self sufficient, you can start looking for someone to date. I think that you'll have the most success looking to date someone your age or older. 

I'll put a profile picture. Problem is that if I look to date my age or older women it will be more difficult to have children. At 40 a woman's fertility decreases dramatically. 

Edited October 3 by DanielKla1984
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[Foxhall]

Small steps I guess- maybe start by practicing holding conversations and looking the ladies in the eye,

I love the women from your culture (although they have broken my heart too)  my lifes ambition is to marry a latina or one in particular- I may fail but Ill never stop trying- 

get yourself out there and in the mix.

they are women who are open to a shy guy and will help him along and bring the best out of him- they will help you and if you make an effort and meet them half way- I think you will be rewarded.