doinbeter Posted October 2 Share Posted October 2 (edited) I live with my partner and have emotionally cheated on her a while back that she found out herself. She does think there is more to it than just a week-long texting when I traveled and I can't blame her. My therapy had helped me through her reasoning and its been 2.6 years of cleanness and she has access to everything and it had helped us. Also the cheating happened when she was pregnant, which is hard for her to forget. Due to my doing now, i realized she had emotionally checked-out early on but I didn't see (I am socially akward who don't read things easily) followed by physically checking out. I absolutely can't tell why she is with me to be honest but I do love her (She says you don't go behind people you love). I am very happy other wise with our relationship but I think that emotional and physical intimacy I wanted is killing me. She is not the kind to cheat or so; but right now, i want to live with her knowing those things are gone but i can't help. anyway to for me to checkout also and just "live"? Edited October 2 by doinbeter title Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 2 Share Posted October 2 What does "live" mean? Is it a euphemism for getting a bit on the side? Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 2 Share Posted October 2 You see this woman as a friend, clearly. INot a romantic partner. It is not fair to her to continue the relationship when you know you don't have those feelings for her. 2 hours ago, doinbeter said: anyway to for me to checkout also and just "live"? I am also going to guess that this means you want to have your cake and eat it, too. No, you can't do that. You already tried, and how well did that work out? Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted October 2 Share Posted October 2 If she is unable to recover from the past and she has checked out of the relationship, the best thing to do is divorce. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted October 2 Share Posted October 2 9 hours ago, doinbeter said: My therapy had helped me through her reasoning It's her turn to get an appointment with a therapist. She needs to decide if she's onboard with this relationship or not. Sounds like she never forgiven you. When there is a betrayal in the relationship and we decide to stay we need to forgive and move on otherwise it's just delaying the end. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted October 2 Share Posted October 2 3 hours ago, Gaeta said: It's her turn to get an appointment with a therapist. She needs to decide if she's onboard with this relationship or not. Sounds like she never forgiven you. When there is a betrayal in the relationship and we decide to stay we need to forgive and move on otherwise it's just delaying the end. Very well said. Link to post Share on other sites
Leihla_B Posted October 3 Share Posted October 3 How about telling her that you want her help in learning how to become a better husband, and ask her to join you to work with a couple's therapist? This approach works better than implying that there's anything wrong with her. That would prompt her to feel defensive, as though you intend to gang up with a therapist against her. Instead, by offering to become the kind of partner she wants, you can give her a list of 3 couple's counselors and ask her to set up the first appointment. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts