Gaeta Posted October 7 Share Posted October 7 22 minutes ago, Alpacalia said: Haha, the only issue I had was with him reaching out specifically to ask me a question, and when I replied, he didn't respond for like 4 days! Anyone did that to you before and it turned into a great dating relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alpacalia Posted October 7 Author Share Posted October 7 (edited) 3 minutes ago, Gaeta said: Anyone did that to you before and it turned into a great dating relationship? Ah, touche' Gaeta, touche'! 😊 Edit to add: I have had men that have come on strong, texting/calling every day and it fizzled. I guess that's just the nature of dating. Edited October 7 by Alpacalia 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted October 7 Share Posted October 7 (edited) 12 minutes ago, Alpacalia said: Edit to add: I have had men that have come on strong, texting/calling every day and it fizzled. I guess that's just the nature of dating. I know! It sucks soooo much!! Some people meet right away, for me it was always a long process. Yes sometimes they start strong and it fizzles. I don't remember a story with people ignoring messages for 4-5-6 days and things picked up after that. Edited October 7 by Gaeta 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Maldives Posted October 7 Share Posted October 7 You know I've re evaluated my response. In light of his response, he was playing way too cool, not wanting to come across to interested to I know this gonna sound counter intuitive, to build mystery with the aim of attracting you. Link to post Share on other sites
happyhorizons Posted October 7 Share Posted October 7 57 minutes ago, Alpacalia said: Oh honeymustard, you make me laugh! Thank you for the reminder.🤗 I think you already knew….hmmmm honeymustartd or ranch…..hmmmm? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alpacalia Posted October 7 Author Share Posted October 7 1 hour ago, Gaeta said: I don't remember a story with people ignoring messages for 4-5-6 days and things picked up after that. Me too.😥 1 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted October 7 Share Posted October 7 On 10/4/2024 at 6:47 PM, Alpacalia said: I don't know. I think I am going to cancel the date. I've kind of lost interest at this point. Thanks everyone! When is the date scheduled? What day and how soon? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Georgia46 Posted October 7 Share Posted October 7 7 hours ago, Alpacalia said: Four days. He was consistent up to that point. Our first date was a week away initially. People are busy, I get that, but a text takes literally seconds. Or even a text to say I’m really busy but I’ll be in touch as soon as I can. I just can’t be bothered with people like this, they usually turn into a huge disappointment. old me probably would have gone on the date - new me - Nahhhhhh. NEXT. take care whatever you decide 😎😎😎 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Marka Posted October 7 Share Posted October 7 if you are still curious about him, go and meet him. If you dont want to meet him, just dont go. If i wouldnt have better plans I would probably go, better to sit at home and watch TV and you never know, some ppl are bad texter. But if you are so turned off, and a company of TV sounds better than his, then stay and home and watch some shows:) 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Leihla_B Posted October 7 Share Posted October 7 2 hours ago, Marka said: if you are still curious about him, go and meet him. If you dont want to meet him, just dont go. If i wouldnt have better plans I would probably go, better to sit at home and watch TV and you never know, some ppl are bad texter. But if you are so turned off, and a company of TV sounds better than his, then stay and home and watch some shows:) Yes! I've had cycles of hard deadlines and the whole world picks THEN to reach out to me, but I'm bouncing around in my brain with continual interruptions and pressures. I've left text messages for days... yes, embarrassing, but not intentional. The larger point is, what kind of 'interest' can a stranger really have in another stranger until that stranger becomes real? Unless your social calendar is so full of better things to do, how much skin from your back does it take to just meet when you've scheduled to meet to check one another out? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted October 7 Share Posted October 7 6 minutes ago, Leihla_B said: The larger point is, what kind of 'interest' can a stranger really have in another stranger until that stranger becomes real? Unless your social calendar is so full of better things to do, how much skin from your back does it take to just meet when you've scheduled to meet to check one another out? Have you done online dating? I will try to explain how it feels. So first we make a contact online and we exchange with someone. We discover we have quite a bit in common, we have a glim of their personality, we find them interesting, often they'll make us laugh. This happens after 20-40 messages of boring contacts who did nothing for us. So yes, even if we did not meet them in real, we think this would be someone we would like to meet. This happens to both sides. There are SO many hit and miss online that once someone gets your attention - you don't forget them 4 days. Especially for serious daters. If someone is on a dating app to find a casual dater, for the occasional date, sure you might forget their text but for a serious dater? no. Look at how many people post on here and so nervous about making a first impression on a 'good contact'. If I had ignored my boyfriend's text 4 days before we meet because he was just a stranger ....we would not be together. Answering in a timely matter shows your manners and it shows your interest. When my boyfriend sent me a message on our dating app and we exchanged a bit, he was so interesting and funny, no way I could have forgotten about him for a week. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alpacalia Posted October 7 Author Share Posted October 7 Thanks everyone for your thoughts! Like I said, it's not so much about response times, it's that he specifically asked me a question, I replied and then he left me on read for several days. I just feel, if you're going to ask someone a question and they take the time to reply, at least acknowledge it within a reasonable time frame. So my hesitation is more about his communication style rather than anything else. I do not expect to be a priority without knowing him that well as he's not a priority to me right now as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Georgia46 Posted October 7 Share Posted October 7 That’s it it shows just what he’s like from the start. You know when you’ve read a message and haven’t responded to someone and it’s not even about being a priority - its just rude. I can’t deal with people like this and I never will again after having been involved with someone exactly like this, no thanks. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Leihla_B Posted October 7 Share Posted October 7 Hah! Okay, nobody on this site would date me. I rarely reply to an answer that does not contain a question. Bad! BAD! Leihla... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alpacalia Posted October 8 Author Share Posted October 8 3 hours ago, Leihla_B said: Hah! Okay, nobody on this site would date me. I rarely reply to an answer that does not contain a question. Bad! BAD! Leihla... Well, my response didn't include a question so fair enough. He has been reaching out a lot so I think friends sounds good. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted October 8 Share Posted October 8 5 minutes ago, Alpacalia said: He has been reaching out a lot so I think friends sounds good. Huh?.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alpacalia Posted October 8 Author Share Posted October 8 1 minute ago, Gaeta said: Huh?.. I called off the date. But I am open to being friends. We run in the same social circle so I don't want any awkwardness. Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted October 8 Share Posted October 8 you were looking for reassurance from him before committing to the date which is not unreasonable or anything, its interesting the dynamic of communication- a person needs to feel a certain amount of comfort to go ahead with something and if one person is not fully invested it can easily put the other person off, Personally I have not had the right mindset for dating anyone this year- better not bother at all if the mind is not tuned in, communication or lack off determines a lot. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
happyhorizons Posted October 9 Share Posted October 9 22 hours ago, Alpacalia said: I called off the date. But I am open to being friends. We run in the same social circle so I don't want any awkwardness. This is disappointing and sad to read…. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alpacalia Posted October 9 Author Share Posted October 9 1 hour ago, happyhorizons said: This is disappointing and sad to read…. I just felt something was off. Aren't we supposed to listen to our gut feelings? I didn't want to invest in something that didn't feel right. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
happyhorizons Posted October 9 Share Posted October 9 8 minutes ago, Alpacalia said: I just felt something was off. Aren't we supposed to listen to our gut feelings? I didn't want to invest in something that didn't feel right. Yes indeed you are..........well said I was hoping for a LOVE CONNECTION.......... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alpacalia Posted October 9 Author Share Posted October 9 40 minutes ago, happyhorizons said: I was hoping for a LOVE CONNECTION.......... Sorry to disappoint you. Link to post Share on other sites
FredEire Posted October 9 Share Posted October 9 The classic "Sorry my phone died for three days/My dog ate my phone/I had a mental breakdown but I'm fine now", lol. Personally if there was a girl I was actually into I'd never leave it more than a few hours to reply in the case that I was actually genuinely very busy, as I wouldn't want her to think I was losing interest and cool off herself. I would say it's the same for the vast majority of guys, but obviously there are always some exceptions. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alpacalia Posted October 10 Author Share Posted October 10 1 hour ago, FredEire said: The classic "Sorry my phone died for three days/My dog ate my phone/I had a mental breakdown but I'm fine now", lol. Personally if there was a girl I was actually into I'd never leave it more than a few hours to reply in the case that I was actually genuinely very busy, as I wouldn't want her to think I was losing interest and cool off herself. I would say it's the same for the vast majority of guys, but obviously there are always some exceptions. Yep. He said he didn't want to be overbearing by messaging too much prior to a first date, not wanting to spoil conversations for said date. Any who, he asked me to reconsider going on a date but I think we're kind of past that point. Link to post Share on other sites
FredEire Posted October 10 Share Posted October 10 2 minutes ago, Alpacalia said: Yep. He said he didn't want to be overbearing by messaging too much prior to a first date, not wanting to spoil conversations for said date. Any who, he asked me to reconsider going on a date but I think we're kind of past that point. Heh, he might have been reading some silly PUA articles about "wait THIS long before texting her back". Just sounds like a lack of social skills tbh, there's overbearing floods of kissy emojis and then there's leaving you on read for 4 days haha. There's a healthy middle ground. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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