What kind of eye contact when you're trying to think during a conversation?

[max3732]

On my date today I realize that when I'm trying really hard to think I break eye contact and look down so I can focus. For example, she asked me what the most difficult part of a tough exam I took years ago and I didn't have anything that came to mind right away and I had to think for a few seconds to come up with an answer. I noticed I do this with everyone and was thinking this probably isn't the best body language.

What should I do instead? Maybe it's force of habit, but it feels odd to look at them in the eyes as I'm trying to retrieve information

[basil67]

I think this is completely normal.   I'd feel really uncomfortable if someone never broke eye contact

Edited October 6 by basil67

[Alpacalia]

It's just nerves. When there's electricity between you, you can't help where your glance is gonna take you. You wind-up in no man's land. 👽 Sometimes when I am lost in thought I'll divert my eyes away, I have to make a concerned effort to try and make, or maintain eyes on contact. Other times, our eyes lock and it's difficult to unlock. 💜

The best way to handle this is to pause, take a deep breath, and then make eye contact while you think. This shows that you are actively engaged in the conversation and not avoiding eye contact out of embarrassment or discomfort.