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How to get better at small talk


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lemonicetea

I’m really in the market of meeting new people and making new friends. I’m on the apps Hinge and Bumble BFF and I have had little success. There is only one person I met from Bumble BBF a couple years ago that really turned out to be anything. 
 

Im wondering if my small talk is just boring. I usually just start with “how is your weekend going?” or some variation. I know that’s pretty lame but I don’t know what else to say to a stranger. Any suggestions?

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I suggest asking Google.  There are a heap of books and articles on the topic, though you may want to choose articles which are geared to making friends rather than how to talk in a business environment.  

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Alpacalia

I enjoy small talk initially because it helps to break the ice and establish a comfortable level of conversation with someone. I am not about to deep dive into personal or controversial topics right away.

A lot of people dislike small talk and want to jump into more meaningful conversations. I think the key is balance... Try to reveal a little bit about yourself in the small talk, maybe share a funny story or talk about your interests. Ask about theirs too. 

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Thinking further, the goal of small talk is to find commonality.  Are those you meet online just randoms?  Or do you have a basic common interest?   If they have a bio, you've gotta work with that.   I always find it much easier to make small talk with someone who I've got things in common with.   For me, that would be someone who is ideally female and a parent.  If they are creative, that's an added bonus.  

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Leihla_B
On 10/6/2024 at 6:32 PM, basil67 said:

 If they have a bio, you've gotta work with that.   I always find it much easier to make small talk with someone who I've got things in common with. 

Yep, express interest in something in their bio, and ask about it. Share things about yourself, but focus more on learning about them. Be curious.

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