Samantha Jade Posted October 6 Share Posted October 6 I broke up with me best friend of 38 years. She suffers from addictions and bad anxiety. She wont get help and do anything about it for 10 years now. I am so tired of the negativity and catastrophising everything, she drinks from breakfast and thinks no one can tell. Everything is drama and she gives unsolicited drunk advice. WOn't get help and I can't deal anymore... I miss her but not the person she is now. I feel so guitly but having got help myself to cope I find it hard to keep the cycle going.. she has an excuse not to change and i don't know what to do🙁 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 6 Share Posted October 6 You've done the right thing. It's unwise to hold onto friends when their behaviour makes us feel worse. Did you have a breakup discussion, or have you just faded? It's said that some won't get help until they hit rock bottom. As tough as it is to lose you as a friend, she is now one step closer to rock bottom - and hopefully one step closer to therapy and recovery 1 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted October 6 Share Posted October 6 17 minutes ago, Samantha Jade said: I broke up with me best friend of 38 years. She suffers from addictions and bad anxiety. She wont get help and do anything about it for 10 years now. I am so tired of the negativity and catastrophising everything, she drinks from breakfast and thinks no one can tell. Everything is drama and she gives unsolicited drunk advice. WOn't get help and I can't deal anymore... I miss her but not the person she is now. I feel so guitly but having got help myself to cope I find it hard to keep the cycle going.. she has an excuse not to change and i don't know what to do🙁 She drinks most likely because of her anxiety. Albeit, drinking makes anxiety worse. I understand your desire not to want to be a part of her downward spiral. Hopefully she'll seek treatment for her anxiety and get her drinking under control on her own. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted October 7 Share Posted October 7 Sad when such a long friendship ends. What's her excuse for not putting the bottle down? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Leihla_B Posted October 8 Share Posted October 8 My heart goes out to you. My friend was like my family since we were babies. During the Covid shutdown she went off the rails and became a nasty drunk. Not only is that intolerable on its own, it's also dangerous for everyone around such a person. Life can irrevocably change on a dime near one who can incite violence or cause accidental harm. I walked away and have not looked back. Like you, I miss the person I loved, but she's not there anymore. I'm not angry with her, but I won't accept the risks of keeping her in my life. Hopefully, both you and I might someday hear from a sober friend who was finally willing to get the help she so badly needed. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted October 9 Share Posted October 9 I really think you did the right thing and you have nothing to feel guilty about. Just because you've been friends with her for so many years, that is not enough of a reason to continue it. If she is doing nothing but bringing you down then you need to do what's best for you and put a stop to this. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted October 22 Share Posted October 22 I went through that many times with others. They choose drugs / alcohol over friends and those who love / care about them. It's a very self centered thing of a person to do, you don't realize it until you're in the middle of it. You did the right thing. It may not feel like it now because you are still hurting from the fallout / angry words / actions, but you'll be ok in the long run. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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