angel0912 Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 my ex and i are friends...and in the past (even though i have always been interested) i have tried my hardest not to let him know- he wanted space and i wanted to give it to him... he has been friendlier than usual lately- but i don't know if he knows that im still interested or thinks i have moved on he is the one who is going to have to bring up the relationship and his feelings, im not going to ask him back- but, does anyone have suggestions of things i could do to give him the go ahead to bring it up if he so chooses and let him know that i still think there could be a possibility??? Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 ...but, does anyone have suggestions of things i could do to give him the go ahead to bring it up if he so chooses and let him know that i still think there could be a possibility??? Be honest & tell him. His answer will dictate what you should then do. Hanging around as a 'friend' in the hope that he'll change his mind one day is dishonest to him & damaging to yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 My suggestion would be to be flirty and fun. Plenty of gentle teasing, enthusiasm, looking into his eyes, laughing at his jokes, touching his arm. Try to meet up one-on-one in a pleasant but ambiguous context. By this I mean something where he is trying to figure out if it's a date or not, eg Saturday afternoon coffee. But don't overdo it - alternate available with having your own life. And when you meet, leave after, say, an hour of coffee. Unless of course he tries to persuade you to stay. Let him chase you a little. Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 Be honest & tell him. Hmmm. My advice would be NOT to tell him "cold". Flirt with him on a couple of occasions and see his reaction. Then ask him how he feels... Link to post Share on other sites
francis Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 first things first, you are not friends. friends do not have romantic feelings towards eachother. you are not being honest with him if you harbour feelings for him that are stronger than you lead him to believe. you are hiding the truth from him. so your friendship is based on the hope he will want more from you. if you are not honest with him, he cannot be honest with you. i have attempted a 'friendship' with my ex...he is on the other side of the world but we maintained email/sms on a regualar, day to day basis because he said it was important. he has sent me gifts, offered me finanicial and emotional support etc etc...more than a friend would. I suggest you be honest with your feelings, with him and yourself. Open up the lines of communication. What are the circumstances of your break-up? How long have you maintained a friendship since? Is he sending romantic signals. I've just always convinced that if a man wants you to be his girlfriend, he will make it very clear. Link to post Share on other sites
Author angel0912 Posted January 5, 2006 Author Share Posted January 5, 2006 we dated for a short time- before he broke it off because he wasn't ready for a relationship- but neither was i- I had become clingy and overly assertive/critical because of baggage I hadn't let go of- I think most of all he got scared We have been friends for the past 4 months- and I am perfectly fine being his friend- it is not like I am pining for him and the world won't be the same with out him- we weren't serious- It is just that i miss him, and think something could work between us if we were both wililing to try again with me being a different person and different circumstances (first time was a summer spent in France now it is everyday life).... so, it not that i necessarily want him back- but I would be willing to try again and I don't want to send signals that say otherwise Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 Hmmm. My advice would be NOT to tell him "cold". Flirt with him on a couple of occasions and see his reaction. Then ask him how he feels... Agreed. Although the sensible serious sit-down discussion is a worthy and sensible approach, it might not win a string of awards in the "how to tempt your man back" stakes. I have to go with Romeo's more flirtatious approach...especially if this is a guy who said he needed space back when the two of you were in a relationship. The only trouble with the flirty and fun approach is, of course, that it may well lead to a f***-buddy situation...and it sounds as if you want more than that. Therein lies the problem with exes. Link to post Share on other sites
livinlifetofullest Posted January 6, 2006 Share Posted January 6, 2006 Well, just don't sleep with them. Don't compromise on a f*ck buddy position. Link to post Share on other sites
flutterfly08 Posted January 6, 2006 Share Posted January 6, 2006 I went through something simular with my ex, we also decided to stay friends, very good friends if i may add, but i got the same feeling as you, he was being very nice to me, thought that maybe he wanted to get back together etc. But I made a mistake, and spoke to him about it. We ended up in an argument about the whole break up from the start, i was told that we had an agreement to stay friends, and that i was only seening thing that i wanted to see, and the reason he was nice to me was because he thought that i got over the idee of us being a couple. the worst part was when he told me that if this is what i hoped would happen,then he cant trust me anymore, so i cant tel you what to do, but just be careful no to loose him when you tel him your true feelings, it might just back-fire! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts