KELT Posted October 11, 2024 Posted October 11, 2024 So, I (F20) had a 2 years long relationship with this man (M20). It was my first true love. However, during this time my bestfriend did flirt with me more than once. In fact, 2-3 times were a close call but, thankfully, nothing serious happened (all these times he was inside a realtionship as well, different relationships, but still) . A month ago my ex-boyfriend moved to another country out of necessity and we decided to end our relationship because otherwise it would become too complicated for both of us. I wanted to use this opportunity and explore what is going on with my bestfriend because, otherwise, I feel like it would torture me and ruin potential future relationships. However, my bestfriend started a relationship literally a week before mine ended and is currently not single. I find myself texting with my ex regularly because we miss each other and it's starting to look like a long-distance relationship. Should I continue our communication and potentially start a long-distance relationship (although I want to have my bf physically close to me, rather than in another country), when I know that when my bestfriend ends his relationship he will flirt with me and I would want to answer cause I have feelings for him? Or should I talk to my bestfriend and explain to him that I like him? Also, keep in mind that my bestfriend is a player and thus would have been flirting with me just to sleep with me. Also, I know his girlfriend and she really loves him, so I don't want to potentially hurt her (although subconsciously I truly want them to break up). Can you please give me an advice on what to do?
Acacia98 Posted October 11, 2024 Posted October 11, 2024 Your best friend doesn't sound like much of a friend. Maybe you should set proper boundaries between you and him and get on with the rest of your life as you see fit?
Leihla_B Posted October 12, 2024 Posted October 12, 2024 You sound wise enough not to position friend to be disloyal to his GF. It isn't just about not hurting her, it would hurt you, because you'd enjoy his attention for about 5 minutes before recognizing that he'd be just as disloyal to you. If he makes a clean break from GF without any influence from you, give him your best shot. Meanwhile, challenge yourself to move your focus away from your ex. A phone relationship will isolate you and make cultivating a social life into a difficulty when it needn't be so. Instead, focus one step at a time toward expanding your social life and think of creative ways to reward yourself for all progress. You will thank yourself later.
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