Confused about signals from a woman I really like

[Acacia98]

On 10/13/2024 at 3:27 PM, MarkP said:

I guess what really sowed the seeds of confusion in my mind was if the roles were reversed and I knew a woman that was interested me and it wasn't reciprocal, then I wouldn't ask about applying for a job where she worked and definitely wouldn't meet up with her, even for just a casual lunchtime coffee, as I wouldn't want to send out the wrong signal.

Maybe that's the difference between men and women, or is it just me lol!

Some possibilities:

- Perhaps she's not the most emotionally intelligent person in the world.

- Maybe she treasured the idea of having you as a professional contact and is simply doing what she'd do with any other professional contact.

- Maybe she gets these requests from plenty of guys and views them as par for the course. And maybe when she rejected you indirectly, she expected you to take the hint the way the other guys did in the past so that you could have a functional professional relationship.

On 10/16/2024 at 7:54 PM, MarkP said:

I 'll just say I understand and that's fine but if she ever changes her mind the offers always there.

You need to learn to value yourself, OP. Stop begging her (this is essentially a passive-aggressive version of begging someone to like you). If she doesn't want to be with you, that's fine. It doesn't make you a lesser man. Close that door and allow yourself to notice other women. Eventually, when you meet someone you like who is excited at the thought of spending time with you, that is the woman you should focus on.

20 hours ago, MarkP said:

 I know this was one of the outcomes that could happen but it feels like I don't have real closure.

Let's be honest, OP. It wouldn't have mattered if she'd rejected you directly. You would still have found a reason to continue kicking the can down the road.

Edited 7 hours ago by Acacia98