Jump to content

Am I overreacting


Recommended Posts

We are at his friends house and my partner had told me a story about their daughter (she is a young adult) he took one of those nitrous canisters once and sprayed her in the ass and made a mark and he kept joking about doing it again. I told him to not do that again and i would not like that. He continued to joke about it until i got upset and then he stopped. He got upset and angry at me for being jealous. They also talked about tattooing each other and i was like hell no then she said like the ankle and told me she had no intention of having the tattoo on any sexual area. She had also talked about getting the word “moon” tattooed and that is my partners nickname. I dont like that. He also told me about the time he had scared her by coming up to her in her sleep and cuddling her then waking her up as a joke. These incidents all happened in the past before we were dating and this girl has a boyfriend.  I understand telling me about the story and laughing about it but it really sends a message when he repeatedly jokes about doing it again after i had told him I did not like hearing about it. 

Edit: more information 

He told me that he had spent a month and a half living with this girl and her family and possibly her boyfriend. He began to jokingly ask me what if i stayed out here for a month and a half and i straight up told him i would not enjoy that and i wouldnt want to really be with him if he is living 3 hours away from me and choosing to stay far away from me. 

Link to post
Share on other sites

He sounds obnoxious. He also sounds intent on rubbing your nose in his obnoxiousness. How long have you been with this guy, and what's the attraction?

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

We have been together for almost 6 months. He has only started acting this way for the past month or so. We are both autistic and we click very well. Soulmates level

Link to post
Share on other sites
9 hours ago, Ghosy said:

We are at his friends house and my partner had told me a story about their daughter (she is a young adult) he took one of those nitrous canisters once and sprayed her in the ass and made a mark and he kept joking about doing it again

 He also told me about the time he had scared her by coming up to her in her sleep and cuddling her then waking her up as a joke

So this man confessed that he sexually assaulted his daughter with a nitrous canister.   And he got into his daughter's bed while she was sleeping.

If you consider this guy your soulmate, you have some serious self reflection to do.   I don't know the laws where you are, but I'd report this to the police

 

Link to post
Share on other sites
Alpacalia

That all sounds really weird.  No you're not overreacting. What father sprays his daughter in the ass with nitrous?? Especially don't understand how that would be funny to anyone.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
On 10/15/2024 at 7:05 PM, basil67 said:

So this man confessed that he sexually assaulted his daughter with a nitrous canister.   And he got into his daughter's bed while she was sleeping.

If you consider this guy your soulmate, you have some serious self reflection to do.   I don't know the laws where you are, but I'd report this to the police

No, this is not his daughter. This is my boyfriend (21) who is friends with the girl’s father. She is 21 years old. I am 21 as well

 

Link to post
Share on other sites
mark clemson

This sounds like a dysfunctional relationship/situation.

Generally, we can't let autism become an excuse for abusive or mildly deranged behavior. Should someone be allowed to commit murder "because they're autistic"? Or course not. Nor should you excuse other abuses.

You may be attracted to this person, but if they are your "soulmate" then TBQH I think you must be a bit of trainwreck yourself, no?

I think people who grew up in dysfunctional situations/households are unconsciously comfortable with (and thus more attracted to) some of the dysfunctional behavior. They recognize the other person's tendencies and gravitate towards them.

Look up the Drama Triangle - these sorts of emotional dynamics may be at play in your relationship(s). Becoming more aware of these dynamics can help you find/build more peaceful and less destructive relationships.

Link to post
Share on other sites
On 10/15/2024 at 2:45 PM, Ghosy said:

Soulmates level

You are not soulmates level. 

Soulmates elevate each other, protect each other, are kind to each other, and would never ever hurt each other's feelings for a joke. 

Being autistic is not an excuse for acting like a jerk toward his daughter, and toward you. You are autistic and you don't act like that right! You know the difference between right and wrong. He knows the difference too, he just choses to be a jerk and a jerk toward a child! 

Don't date people like that. 

 

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...