baffled111 Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 OK, I don't really know if im being to strict and domineering or if I am justified and right...First off, i DO trust my girlfriend and I DON'T believe she would cheat on me, but i have a few questions... She asked me the other day if i would be mad if she went to a club with this guy friend of hers, lets call him Vince. I have no problems with her being friends with him, but he asked her out before and I dont want him going to a club with my girlfriend. I dont think she would cheat with him, but i still dont like the idea of him dancing with her all night and i dont think that his intentions are innocent. She got mad at me when i told her i would get mad and said she doesnt believe that i do trust her, because if i did i shouldn't have a problem with that. Oh, and i usually never have a problem when she goes to the club with her girlfriends, i kno she dances with guys, but its not like shes with one the whole night, she probably meets several, but doesnt stay with any of them for log at the club. Am I wrong, should I be fine with her going with Vince?? She likes to party...I am unable to go to alot of parties with her and really dont have a problem with her going with her girlfriends. However, I'm not a big fan of drinking to begin with...i dont think its evil, i just dont like how people glorify it and get all excited and crazzy over it...anyway, im fine with her drinking at these parties with her friends, but i do have a problem with her getting drunk. I told her i dont neccassarily think that she would get drunk and cheat, but other things can and do happen. I dont want her to get hurt or in trouble or do something bad. i think its reasonable enough to ask her not to get drunk unless im at the party with her, but again she says that i dont trust her and she says that she will be with her girlfriends...am i wrong? Oh, and also...am i wrong to not like her drinking? i just dont get why its so important, ive been to plenty of parties without alchohol and they were all incredibly fun, i dont see anything wrong with a couple drinks, but why get smashed? is it fun when u can't remember anything u did? i think its more fun to laugh at the drunk people acting like as$es then to be one of them...i dont know. Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 Hello, I don't think you are wrong at all. She is your girlfriend and you are in a relationship. This guy Vince clearly likes her and basically has asked her again to go on a date with him to a club where they will no doubt drink and dance. If you are in a serious relationship a woman should not go clubbing with another guy. That she would ask you permission is insulting. It seems pretty obvious. Don't fall for her manipulations. What she is saying is that if you really trust me you will give me your blessing to go out on a date with this other man who likes me so we can go dancing and drinking with him. In short, she is asking your permission to go out and party with another guy. What is wrong with this picture? On another matter I think it is quite reasonable to ask her not to get drunk at parties without you. It does not take a rocket scientist to figure out that drinking and getting drunk at parties with other men and women without you is a recipie for big trouble. You sound very level headed. On the other hand, you say your girlfriend is a big party person who likes to drink and get drunk at parties without you. I think in the long run this person is not right for you. Commonality of interest is a key ingredient for a lasting relationship. She likes to party, drink and go to bars and dance with other people and you are not attracted to that lifestyle. Find somebody who is more like you because she will cause you jealously and heartbreak in the end. I wish you luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Lucasarts Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 spy on em...then you'll know for sure if shes trustworthy or not might sound sketchy and disrespectful but if a guy's gotta know then a guy's gotta know. besides if she doesnt find out, and she doesnt do anything with him, then you know what she thinks of the relationship you two are in. but yeah i wouldnt trust her on this situation mate it just doesnt sound...right its just her and this guy? psh i doubt its gonna be casual, specially when there are no interruptions (i.e. her friends/his friends/you friends/YOU) Link to post Share on other sites
Cecelius Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 This is not jealousy. Another guy asked your girlfriend out on a date (two people of opposite sex intentionally getting together to do something like go out dancing is a date). She accepted. Why would you worry about whether you are crazy or not? Why have you not dumped her? Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 On another matter I think it is quite reasonable to ask her not to get drunk at parties without you. It does not take a rocket scientist to figure out that drinking and getting drunk at parties with other men and women without you is a recipie for big trouble. Yeah, my boyfriend got with some sl!!t at this party we were both at when he was absolutely pissed. I was pretty much comatose in another room, we had WAY to much JD and Vodka. We both don't even have the inkling to do the whole heavy drinking thing cos of it. Okay, one or two drinks are cool, but him getting with someone else broke my heart and you really need to avoid that pain, trust me, I know. If this girl is going out on what pretty much sounds like a date than you both seriously need to sit down and talk about your relationship. She disresepected you by even accepting his invitation when she is with you. Link to post Share on other sites
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