sharrod88 Posted October 16 Share Posted October 16 Like am i the only person in the world that can see that somebody is for me within a few weeks or month?? In my experience with me being a guy, girls make officially getting together wayyyyyy too complicated. For me, if me and a girl hit it off and feeling each other, we have a handful of calls talking to each other hours on end, finding out so much about each other, finding out so many things we have in common, then we go on a few dates that go well, at that point in time, i'm ready to make it official and be exclusive. But no, they wanna stay in this endless dating talking phase, for what?? At that point, imma feel like my time is being wasted. Mind you, i do ask them to be my girl, but some of them say they need more time, some say they wanna go on more dates, like wtf?? Like can u see yourself with me or no?! If not, just go your way. Like bro how do guys even get with girls anymore? Are they making u wait months on end in order to become exclusive?? jesus christ.... 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted October 16 Share Posted October 16 Many people feel that phone calls and a few dates is definitely not enough to make the decision to be exclusive. It is completely normal to go on dates for a month or longer without yet becoming exclusive. If you feel differently, that’s not their fault. You said that you want them to “go their way” if they don’t decide to be exclusive with you within the time limits that you have set. Well, nothing prevents you from politely telling them just that. You move on and date until you find a girl who would be exclusive with you sooner. Do those girls have sex with you during the non-exclusive dating phase? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 16 Share Posted October 16 For what it's worth, I agree with you.....but I'm old and come from an era where we dated only one person at at time. I feel like multi dating is like driving around a heap of used cars which you can't decide between. Also, I think many people view exclusivity as some kind of long term commitment, when really, it's simply about finding someone who you really like and giving them your proper time to see if the compatibility is real and then becoming 'official'. Still though, it is the way it is. My best advice is that if you've gone on a number great dates and ask a woman to be exclusive but she doesn't want to stop meeting others, then 'next' her. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Leihla_B Posted October 16 Share Posted October 16 (edited) 40 minutes ago, Gebidozo said: Do those girls have sex with you during the non-exclusive dating phase? This is my question, too. Lots of people see a difference between sexual exclusivity for safety reasons as opposed to entering an exclusive, committed relationship for the duration of their future. So are you dealing with women who want to get sexual with you early but aren't willing to guarantee your safety by not having sex with anyone else? Or are these women who aren't willing to get sexual with you until they feel that they know and trust you well enough? If you can clarify, we might be better able to help. Edited October 16 by Leihla_B Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted October 16 Share Posted October 16 If they make it complicated it's because they did not click with you. As simple as that. I am a woman, every relationship l had, that started from meeting online, we were exclusive from our 3rd date. If l felt l needed more time it meant the guy was not it for me. Move on from these women and date till you find one that connects with you. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author sharrod88 Posted October 16 Author Share Posted October 16 20 hours ago, Gaeta said: If they make it complicated it's because they did not click with you. As simple as that. I am a woman, every relationship l had, that started from meeting online, we were exclusive from our 3rd date. If l felt l needed more time it meant the guy was not it for me. Move on from these women and date till you find one that connects with you. That's the confusing part, because we do click, but maybe not in other ways that she want, idk... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author sharrod88 Posted October 16 Author Share Posted October 16 22 hours ago, Gebidozo said: Do those girls have sex with you during the non-exclusive dating phase? No, because i try to be respectful and not push it on them on the first couple dates, but maybe i should start suggesting it moving forward....... i feel like girls attach to guys way faster after intimacy. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted October 16 Share Posted October 16 7 minutes ago, sharrod88 said: That's the confusing part, because we do click, but maybe not in other ways that she want, idk... A lot of people come on here to talk about how they connected with someone to finally discover the other person had not connected. Sometimes we feel we have a mutual connection but it's just one way 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted October 17 Share Posted October 17 1 hour ago, sharrod88 said: No, because i try to be respectful and not push it on them on the first couple dates, but maybe i should start suggesting it moving forward....... i feel like girls attach to guys way faster after intimacy. Errr, no. Girls attach faster to guys they like. If a girl likes you, you’ll know it and intimacy will occur naturally. If a girl doesn’t really like you, no amount of either “being respectful” or pushing will help. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 17 Share Posted October 17 1 hour ago, sharrod88 said: i feel like girls attach to guys way faster after intimacy. Not at all true for me. If he's not what I'm looking for in a relationship, sex isn't going to change that. Further, if I was not yet attached and the sex is bad, then it's much easier to walk away. You don't have to bother working through the sex issues if you're not attached 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BreakOnThrough Posted November 4 Share Posted November 4 On 10/15/2024 at 10:39 PM, Gaeta said: If they make it complicated it's because they did not click with you. As simple as that. I am a woman, every relationship l had, that started from meeting online, we were exclusive from our 3rd date. If l felt l needed more time it meant the guy was not it for me. Move on from these women and date till you find one that connects with you. THIS is why you let women bring up the relationship conversation, if you feel she is taking too long, just cut ties. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted November 4 Share Posted November 4 2 hours ago, BreakOnThrough said: THIS is why you let women bring up the relationship conversation, if you feel she is taking too long, just cut ties. Relationship talk and exclusivity talk are 2 different things. At only 2-3-4 dates we talk about exclusivity. After you have established exclusivity and have dated a few months and got to know each other then we talk about if we want this to be a relationship, meet the friends and parents, etc. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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