Husband with history of large debt wants to take a pay cut

[Gaeta]

I'm noticing that here you repeated a few times that you're the one that paid for the wedding, honeymoon, car, house, etc. Do you repeat that to him too? I think you should put that to rest. You voluntered to pay all that knowing he could not provide equally. He would probably be more receptive without that being reminded.

Life happens and plans change. If l were you l would not dream of working part time, and l would not have another child with him. 

Why do you think he wants to quit his job? Is he the type of people that gets bored fast and changes jobs all the time?

[basil67]

1 hour ago, Worried32 said:

I appreciate that advice. I always end up feeling bad for him and try my best to be fair. I want to be firm with him about taking a pay cut but haven’t wanted to make him feel forced to do it if that makes sense and end up resenting me. I try to make him aware of the realities of life if he does as I refuse to fund anymore major expenses. Maybe a way I could approach it is if he sticks with this job until another similar opportunity arises or until he has some savings where he can afford a pay cut? 

What if you said "let's do the budget together and see what we can afford"?    Perhaps when he sees the figures, he will work this out for himself

[basil67]

1 hour ago, Worried32 said:

Only thing I find is that I get why he shuts down, and it’s because he is embarrassed

Is it really embarrassment though?  Because I'm betting it's an avoidance technique: he shuts down and so the conversation can't happen.   Weaponised incompetence is a real thing

[Worried32]

40 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

I'm noticing that here you repeated a few times that you're the one that paid for the wedding, honeymoon, car, house, etc. Do you repeat that to him too? I think you should put that to rest. You voluntered to pay all that knowing he could not provide equally. He would probably be more receptive without that being reminded.

Life happens and plans change. If l were you l would not dream of working part time, and l would not have another child with him. 

Why do you think he wants to quit his job? Is he the type of people that gets bored fast and changes jobs all the time?

I have not once mentioned to him about what I have paid for. I know that if I was willing to do it I can’t keep throwing it in his face.  
 

he doesn’t get bored easy, he has been with the organisation 10 years. I think he has just checked out and needs a change.