S2B Posted October 20 Share Posted October 20 Keep moving forward - make decisions in your best interest. she may not reconnect with you. We do t want you to be disappointed. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 20 Share Posted October 20 (edited) I think she is done with the marriage and in the affair fog. Both thing can be true. It seems she does indeed want to divorce for reasons unrelated to this new man, and he was only a catalyst for her to finally do something about ending the marriage. Whether or not things work out between him and her is rather beside the point, in my view. It hurts but I don't think this is going to come back together. Take care of yourself now. Edited October 20 by ExpatInItaly 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted October 20 Share Posted October 20 7 hours ago, Sbd said: I never actually asked her to leave, I just said I wasn’t leaving. I don’t want her to leave if she doesn’t want to. It’s her home indeed. When people decide to leave a marriage, there is a reason why they leave the home - it’s too hard to stay and continue to interact as you always have when they made the decision that they need to end the marriage. It sounds like she is doing what she needs to do right now - she needs some distance, so she has found somewhere else to stay. But, she is returning to the home when you are away because it’s less disruptive and best for the children - for now. But, it’s not really her home anymore… 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Leihla_B Posted October 21 Share Posted October 21 20 hours ago, Sbd said: ...The latest plan is that since I’m gone working for days at a time she will be home and when I’m home she is going to be at the rental. Very smart. This avoids forcing your kids to travel between parents. I can tell you from my own experience that the trips were exhausting, like living in a hamster wheel. I became disorganized and depressed. It also harmed my social development to leave town every weekend. Quote ... she has actually opened up a lot. Me just listening and acknowledging is helping her work through things and even if her and I don’t work out I have lots to learn from her about how to improve myself. Good. You sound more grounded, and that's making it possible for the two of you to communicate. Quote I never actually asked her to leave, I just said I wasn’t leaving. ... This is smart. You aren't the one who wants to break up your family, so there's no reason for you to be displaced. Thank you for the updates, and hang in there! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sbd Posted October 21 Author Share Posted October 21 I think she would love to be in our marital home but she realizes that our property and home is my grand dream that I’ve worked my whole life for and my business and livelihood depends on having the attributes our property provides (small farm). She also understands her affair really changed how the outcome of the divorce would be. She feels bad for me. To be honest though, my home is nothing without my wife and the constant presence of my children. She is a very kind person. Which has made it hard for her to just tell it straight to me. I don’t want to be let down easy. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RebeccaR Posted October 26 Share Posted October 26 How is it that you are the kids’ primary caretaker, but you travel so much? Clearly she has been doing a lot of heavy lifting, given childcare while you traveled, plus her breadwinner career. I’m wondering if you didn’t see this clearly. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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