Author Goodguy05 Posted November 14 Author Share Posted November 14 Well she responded very quickly I guess so far so good lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted November 14 Share Posted November 14 2 hours ago, Goodguy05 said: I was thinking to reach out and engage lol what you think ? See where it goes. Maybe I overreacted Please don't. You have an expression in English that says you're beating a dead horse? Someone updating their profile means they are searching for new prospects. You're already in her rear mirror. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted November 14 Share Posted November 14 On 11/11/2024 at 2:43 PM, Goodguy05 said: It wasn't that I didn't appreciate her it was more so I feel like I'm doing all the work and not seeing that much from her end even asking her out. I get people are busy but it was almost each time I asked her out her availability it kind of came across like I wasn't a high priority but that could be on me maybe not planning it better like asking her on the day sometimes. At the start I pursued her asked her out every 3 or 4 days for a few dates at the start then she got the flu. I'd asked her out that day but she wasn't well so left it and didn't hear from her for almost 11 days lol. I wrote about it before. I thought it was over and made peace with the fact and then she reached out but since then I lost a bit confidence and questioned her interest because 11 days ye it's a long time for someone to wait to reach out. When I asked her why it took so long her reason was she didn't want me to get sick lol. I didn't quiet buy that and suspected she wanted to be chased like ole school style. But that 11 days dwindled my confidence in her interest level in me and I backed off somewhat. Then when I did muster up the confidence to ask her out she would be doing something or would be free after a certain time. So I guess the whole time I'm also trying to gouge her interest There are some who won’t even look at a person again if they ask out the same day. If she has all these cultural differences from you or differences in approach to dating then yes asking someone out on the same day can appear flippant or too casual (maybe a bit presumptuous assuming someone’s calendar is free on short notice). Maybe you didn’t intend that at all and felt comfortable with her. The sad part I’m getting from all this is she didn’t communicate to you what she preferred if that bothered her and you both didn’t seem to talk through your misunderstandings. Problem solving or trouble shooting and working together is key in long term relationships. You fumbled not following up when she was sick or asking how she felt. She dropped the ball too not asking how you were doing. I get that you already lost a bit of confidence. My overall take is that she wasn’t that into you in the end when things became too casual. We date to find out if someone is a good fit for us and I think your dating styles are too different. I genuinely think she gave up awhile ago probably a bit before she got sick and then you lost heart and you don’t bring out the best in each other. This is more about different people than placing blame on any one instance or event that happened.. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Goodguy05 Posted November 14 Author Share Posted November 14 (edited) 4 hours ago, Gaeta said: Please don't. You have an expression in English that says you're beating a dead horse? Someone updating their profile means they are searching for new prospects. You're already in her rear mirror. I guess these days it seems common until ur official, we haven't had that exclusivity conversation yet, for people to still be on apps. I was and was swiping when with her but more just out of curiosity. I been on em forever and I know she has I now remember her profile from years back. I know I would just love to close it and jump off it for good. And I also know a lot of people are burnt out from em I certainly am. It's not easy woman get a lot more swipes but I know from there complaints they are low grade men asking for sex straight away and it's not easy meeting someone that you have chemistry with.With men there's a lot of competition from the amount of men that are on the apps all swiping right at anything that is a woman lol. It did sting a little bit and I guess that's made me reach out. Anyway its all really great advice. Thanks guys I really do appreciate it. Fyi I will be keeping my options open now as well anyway after seeing that and just go with the flow with her. If I did have other options id probably not be so fussed but I know where I live how hard it's been to meet someone that even has similar interests and is a good fit in the sense we both don't have kids she's my age that is really rare and what I prefer. Most woman my age have kids and I dont really want that. I'd be interested to hear how easy or hard it's been for other woman on this forum with dating apps it they have had success quickly or also been on em forever lol. Would love to hear feedback. I'm curious. Edited November 14 by Goodguy05 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted November 15 Share Posted November 15 Oh my god it’s horrible. I have felt very much like a mad monkey hanging on for dear life on the last tree in a forest going up in flames. That’s what dating feels like so don’t feel alone. Ive also had positive experiences and was in a relationship briefly but ultimately it was mismatched. I’m certain the actual guy I’m supposed to meet probably doesn’t have an internet connection or a cellphone. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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