What are your thoughts on this

[Maldives]

Well she responded very quickly I guess so far so good lol 

[Gaeta]

2 hours ago, Goodguy05 said:

I was thinking to reach out and engage lol what you think ? See where it goes. Maybe I overreacted 

Please don't.

You have an expression in English that says you're beating a dead horse?

Someone updating their profile means they are searching for new prospects. You're already in her rear mirror.

[glows]

On 11/11/2024 at 2:43 PM, Goodguy05 said:

It wasn't that I didn't appreciate her it was more so I feel like I'm  doing all the work and not seeing that much from her end even asking her out. I get people are busy but it was almost each time I asked her out her availability it kind of came across like I wasn't a high priority but that could be on me maybe not planning it better like asking her on the day sometimes. 

At the start I pursued her asked her out every 3 or 4 days for a few dates at the start then she got the flu. I'd asked her out that day but she wasn't well so left it and didn't hear from her for almost 11 days lol. I wrote about it before. I thought it was over and made peace with the fact and then she reached out but since then I lost a bit confidence and questioned her interest because 11 days ye it's a long time for someone to wait to reach out. When I asked her why it took so long her reason was she didn't want me to get sick lol. I didn't quiet buy that and suspected she wanted to be chased like ole school style. But that 11 days dwindled my confidence in her interest level in me and I backed off somewhat. Then when I did muster up the confidence to ask her out she would be doing something or would be free after a certain time. So I guess the whole time I'm also trying to gouge her interest

There are some who won’t even look at a person again if they ask out the same day. If she has all these cultural differences from you or differences in approach to dating then yes asking someone out on the same day can appear flippant or too casual (maybe a bit presumptuous assuming someone’s calendar is free on short notice). Maybe you didn’t intend that at all and felt comfortable with her. The sad part I’m getting from all this is she didn’t communicate to you what she preferred if that bothered her and you both didn’t seem to talk through your misunderstandings. Problem solving or trouble shooting and working together is key in long term relationships. You fumbled not following up when she was sick or asking how she felt. She dropped the ball too not asking how you were doing. I get that you already lost a bit of confidence. 

My overall take is that she wasn’t that into you in the end when things became too casual. We date to find out if someone is a good fit for us and I think your dating styles are too different. 

I genuinely think she gave up awhile ago probably a bit before she got sick and then you lost heart and you don’t bring out the best in each other. This is more about different people than placing blame on any one instance or event that happened.. 

[Maldives]

4 hours ago, Gaeta said:

Please don't.

You have an expression in English that says you're beating a dead horse?

Someone updating their profile means they are searching for new prospects. You're already in her rear mirror.

I guess these days it seems common until ur official, we haven't had that exclusivity conversation yet, for people to still be on apps. I was and was swiping when with her but more just out of curiosity. I been on em forever and I know she has I now remember her profile from years back. I know I would just love to close it and jump off it for good. And I also know a lot of people are burnt out from em I certainly am. It's not easy woman get a lot more swipes but I know from there complaints they are low grade men asking for sex straight away and it's not easy meeting someone that you have chemistry with.With men there's a lot of competition from the amount of men that are on the apps all swiping right at anything that is a woman lol. It did sting a little bit and I guess that's made me reach out. Anyway its all really great advice. Thanks guys I really do appreciate it. Fyi I will be keeping my options open now as well anyway after seeing that and just go with the flow with her. If I did have other options id probably not be so fussed but I know where I live how hard it's been to meet someone that even has similar interests and is a good fit in the sense we both don't have kids she's my age that is really rare and what I prefer. Most woman my age have kids and I dont really want that. 

 

I'd be interested to hear how easy or hard it's been for other woman on this forum with dating apps it they have had success quickly or also been on em forever lol. Would love to hear feedback. I'm curious. 

Edited November 14, 2024 by Goodguy05

[glows]

Oh my god it’s horrible. I have felt very much like a mad monkey hanging on for dear life on the last tree in a forest going up in flames. That’s what dating feels like so don’t feel alone.

Ive also had positive experiences and was in a relationship briefly but ultimately it was mismatched. I’m certain the actual guy I’m supposed to meet probably doesn’t have an internet connection or a cellphone. 

[Maldives]

Strangest behaviour - so update. She will message me after a long stint and just says hey Marz. Last time I saw her was a few weeks ago wen I re engaged her from the message above where I texted her and responded very quickly she always does. Anyway I followed up a few days later on the weekend to see what she was up to and she got sick again a stomach ache. So, I eent and got her some medicine and dropped it off to her where she lives didn't go inside she mentioned her flaate was there after sh had just got back from the drs we kissed a brief chat them I let her be and let her rest. She didn't even send a follow up text or nothing to thank me for dropping the medication off to her so I was pretty much done with her. Them she reaches out again 11 days later and just breadcrumbs me I guess and say hey Marz. I took a few hours to respond as I wasn't really impressed with her after dropping off the meds and just thought well that says everything she's just not interested and I'm not interested in pursuing someone who's not interested. So I respond and say hello and then she quickly messages me back saying thamku for the meds then lol 11 days later and that we can go to a Korean bb for dinner one night. I was a bit flabbergasted at her response almost like there was no issues between us lol. I don't get this behaviour delayed breadcrumbing. So I left it for a few days again and reached out not giving to much away just seeing what she was up to and she said she's been busy working I asked what she was doing on that day and it was black friday shopping and I just left it at that. Of course same thing no messaging or anything. What do you make of this behaviour? Just as I let go she pops up. I'm thinking there's for sure someone on the scene but who knows what do you all think? 

[Gaeta]

4 hours ago, Goodguy05 said:

What do you make of this behaviour?

She is a waste of your time and brain space. That thank you after 11 days is ridiculous and disrespectful. You're not even an after thought to her.  She wipes her feet on you and you go back with a smile.  Women cannot fall for men they don't respect. 

[Maldives]

1 hour ago, Gaeta said:

She is a waste of your time and brain space. That thank you after 11 days is ridiculous and disrespectful. You're not even an after thought to her.  She wipes her feet on you and you go back with a smile.  Women cannot fall for men they don't respect. 

Yep you are right Gaeta. 

Edited December 5, 2024 by Goodguy05

[Acacia98]

6 hours ago, Goodguy05 said:

 What do you make of this behaviour? Just as I let go she pops up. I'm thinking there's for sure someone on the scene but who knows what do you all think? 

I'm surprised you're still wasting your energy on this woman. You were obviously right when you felt something was off ages ago. I think that, going forward, you should have more faith in your instincts.

[Maldives]

7 hours ago, Gaeta said:

She is a waste of your time and brain space. That thank you after 11 days is ridiculous and disrespectful. You're not even an after thought to her.  She wipes her feet on you and you go back with a smile.  Women cannot fall for men they don't respect. 

To clarify I wasn't smiling. I liked her so she knows I'll respond. I am trying to move forward as I know the interest level is not there. 

Edited December 5, 2024 by Goodguy05