When and how to end life

[Basic]

When I look at some older people, in pain, doped up, poor mobility, very dependant on others, broke, and talking about death as a relief.

 

I can't help but think that if my life reaches that point I would want to hasten things along. I'd transfer all my asets to those I care about. Then I would gas up my car and drive off a cliff or try to improve society and drive into a crowd at the welfare office.

 

Pick your cause, KKK, welfare cheats, Muslims, Bird watchers, you name it.

Better to help rid the world of them as a final gift to your community.

 

Why don't more elderly go that route?

[Art_Critic]

Why don't more elderly go that route?

 

Because sometimes getting old is better than you might think.. Not every elderly person is lonely , miserable and wants to die.

 

Hopefully you will discover this later on in life..

[Outcast]

Pick your cause, KKK, welfare cheats, Muslims, Bird watchers, you name it.

Better to help rid the world of them as a final gift to your community.

 

Why don't more elderly go that route?

 

Because with maturity comes the understanding that people are flawed critters and that nobody has the right to take lives indiscriminately.

[newbby]

When I look at some older people, in pain, doped up, poor mobility, very dependant on others, broke, and talking about death as a relief.

 

I can't help but think that if my life reaches that point I would want to hasten things along. I'd transfer all my asets to those I care about. Then I would gas up my car and drive off a cliff or try to improve society and drive into a crowd at the welfare office.

 

Pick your cause, KKK, welfare cheats, Muslims, Bird watchers, you name it.

Better to help rid the world of them as a final gift to your community.

 

Why don't more elderly go that route?

 

are you saying the elderly should become suicide bombers????

[newbby]

Because with maturity comes the understanding that people are flawed critters and that nobody has the right to take lives indiscriminately.

 

true and unfortunately not many people reach maturity.

[Lil Honey]

I can understand the first part of Basic's post - getting old, dependent on others and wanting to end it. But I would never hurt someone else in the process, as suggested by the last half of the post.

 

My family's medical history doesn't give me much, healthwise, to look forward to. I can look forward to high blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes, and cancer from my dad. I can look forward to osteoporosis and arthritis from my mom and grandmother. I already have their thyroid problems. I am 45 and have joints that ache and don't want to bend like they used to.

 

I value my independence. I never want to be a burden. If I can't feed myself or wipe my own butt, I don't want to live, because that isn't living, IMHO.

[Gold Pile]

I hope to be among the healthy elderly. If I'm very unhealthy then I don't want to "hang-on" year after year.

 

Certainly mental health is very important, GP will undoubtedly be tended by several 25 year women that think he has lots of money. Wouldn't want to get scammed.

 

If I had to end it, I would call the police and tell them outcast had kidnapped me as her sex slave:love: . Then I would go off into the woods and never be seen again.

 

A natural death, my body recycled back into the earth.

 

Or I might walk into the police station with an unloaded gun, Give them my Clint Eastwood stare, spit on the desk sargent, sneer at them and whip out the gun.

[quankanne]

gee, goldpile ... as long as you don't kick any innocent dogs on your way out, that should be okay Though your legacy to poor Outie doesn't sound like a helluva great deal ...

 

Why don't more elderly go that route?

 

judgmental booger, aren't you? If it looks broke, it needs to be trashed, especially a human life. This mindset is what is so screwed up about our world now: there is no respect for the dignity of human life. Value is based on some pretty stupid standards. From the womb to the tomb, each life has inherent value, even if it isn't obvious to the viewer.

 

Whatever, wherever I am,

I can never be thrown away.

If I am in sickness,

my sickness may serve Him;

in perplexity,

my perplexity may serve Him;

if I am in sorrow,

my sorrow may serve Him.

 

I think Cardinal Newman, who penned the lines above, got it right: we are valued, because we are loved by Him, even if we don't believe in Him. No matter how our bodies or our minds have failed us, we still are precious. Who is to say that our mission in life, should we be broken or sick – physically or mentally – isn't someone else by encouraging them to practice love and compassion?

 

if you were meant to be dead, and not old and moldy, it would have already happened in the natural course of things. We're here for a purpose, even those people who lives don't appear to have meaning to others.

 

like Lil Honey, I've got a plethora of problems waiting as I approach old age and I don't want to be a burden on someone else. However, if this is how my life is meant to play out, then so be it. I hope and I pray that even in my old age and infirmity, I continue to serve that mission which He has given me, in whatever way I am able. Because I'll still matter ...

[bluechocolate]

Why don't more elderly go that route?

 

Read "Do Not Go Gentle into That Good Night", by Dylan Thomas

 

Me - I'm going to rage, rage against the dying light.

 

However, I'm still going to have a living will for a situation like being in a coma, pretty much brain dead & on life support - which is something that can happen to any of us at any age.

[quankanne]

I hope to remain the crazy, quirky chick who has people laughing from my not-too-reverent outlook on situations.

[EnigmaXOXO]

Me - I'm going to rage, rage against the dying light.

 

 

I'm not afraid of it, but once I've gotten comfortable with something I do hate the idea of change.

 

I watch this crazy program called "I Shouldn't Be Alive" where many people describe that moment in time where they actually felt they had a 'choice' in the matter. That while it seemed easier to just close their eyes and let go than carry on, it was just plain stubbornness that kept them hanging on for just one more moment.

 

For them, they said, it's what changed the final outcome.

 

You can't put the inevitable off forever. But similarly to what Quank said, the value and quality of life should be left to the interpretation of the individual living it.

[Outcast]

to poor Outie

 

I'll have you know that I'm an 'innie'

[quankanne]

:laugh:

 

now, now, do you REALLY want to give Gold Pile encouragement?

[bluechocolate]

I'm not afraid of it, but once I've gotten comfortable with something I do hate the idea of change.

Ha! I've recently had this discussion with a few people. I fervently hope that I do not become one of those old people that hates change (not that you're old..... not that there's anything wrong with that if you are... and not that's there anything wrong with not liking change.....hmm.... I'll get me coat ).

[reservoirdog1]

Personally, I believe you should enjoy life as long as you've got it. Spend all your money. Do your best to time things so that the last cheque you write, just before you die, bounces.

 

Can't remember who said it, but I think it appeared on this site:

 

"When I die, I want to die peacefully and serenely, like grandpa... not shrieking with terror like the people in his back seat." :laugh:

[newbby]

 

judgmental booger, aren't you? If it looks broke, it needs to be trashed, especially a human life. This mindset is what is so screwed up about our world now: there is no respect for the dignity of human life. Value is based on some pretty stupid standards. From the womb to the tomb, each life has inherent value, even if it isn't obvious to the viewer.

 

 

very true quankanne. life itself is beautiful.

[Gold Pile]

I'll have you know that I'm an 'innie'

 

I like innies:love:

[whichwayisup]

I value my independence. I never want to be a burden. If I can't feed myself or wipe my own butt, I don't want to live, because that isn't living, IMHO.

 

I agree, I wouldn't want to be a burden either and right now I couldn't see myself wanting to live...But, with that being said, noone knows until they're in a situation like that. It's too easy to say "yeah, I'd do myself in..." because life wouldn't be as it is your present NOW...It would be something completely different, plus a whole new mindset too.

 

I try not to think of these kind of things anymore. This is the sort of stuff that I would seriously sit and think about for hours...Things that haven't happened yet, or maybe won't happen ever.

 

I like seeing other cultures and how they are in their elder age. The chinese, japanese etc...They LOVE life! They embrace it as they get older and wiser. It's the Western culture that has made us fear getting old...The fears of being alone, shoved in some old age home by our children one day...

[HokeyReligions]

I think of the woman in the bed next to my mom in the nursing home. She had a massive stroke. She is twisted up like a pretzel. She is on a feeding tube. She can't communicate. She lays there with her feeding tube and her diapers and her drool.

 

Her family visits with her and talks to her even though she can't respond - they draw love from her. They hurt for her and they cry, but they love her. Somewhere inside she can hear them because her body responds in ways we can't see -- it shows up on her monitors. Her heart rate, her breathing, moisture in her eyes. She's still alive inside her mind and her family can sense that.

 

Is she a burden? To some she may be. Would she choose to end her life if she could? Maybe, but from what her family has told us about her as a mother, a wife, a sister, a daughter, a friend -- she was always full of love and giving and hope and dreams and laughter. Those things are still inside her and when she's gone the family that she cared for and loved so diligently will only have their memories of her and will no longer be able to take the love she still has to give directly from her. They will miss her and mourn. She still has value and that alone may be what has kept her alive.

 

My own mother has, many times, been at the brink of death and has suffered so much over the last few years and especially this last year that she has prayed to die, she couldn't stand it anymore. I have asked her if she wanted me to help her to die and she has always said NO. While there is still a spark of life left in her she wants to live. She wants to hear my voice, she knows I want to hear hers as long as is possible. Do I enjoy emptying urine bags or cleaning her, or taking care of her dentures or crushing her medicine, or feeding her or helping her into and out of bed, and dressing, or cleaning up the accident she had on the carpet when she didn't know she had diarrhea? No, but I will 'enjoy' the empty space and silence even less. Those things are part of life too and what one may consider a burden, another may consider an honor to be able to do that. It's hard on me and on my husband, but certainly not a burden. She still has value.

 

The person with no family to visit and who is taken care of by strangers can still impart some wisdom and experience to others---even if the person who is suffering does not know that. They might teach compassion without knowing that they are teaching or without the 'student' knowing they are learning. They might demonstrate what anger and prejudice does to a person by being cranky and troublesome - but that is a valuable lesson too.

 

Many people believe that suicide is a sin and that whatever happens to them in their life is God's plan and they accept that because they love God and trust Him. They might long for a release from their own pain (as does my mother) but they will not commit that sin because it can't be forgiven. There is no repentance after death.

 

Many people do commit suicide for the reasons you stated - because they don't want to be a 'burden' to their loved ones. But suicide leaves an even bigger burden for those left behind.

 

I will fight to stay alive as long as I have family and friends. But if I become an invalid and there is no one around to care for me or love me I am not opposed to self-termination. But I will do that last act for ME, not because I don't want to be a burden to the staff at a nursing home. Although, more than likely I will hang on until death takes me because I imagine my views will change as I age too and I won't want to let go of the memories of when I was an active participant in a life that brought me joy as well as sorrow.

 

A little over a year ago I nearly died from Anaphylaxis. I remember standing behind the gurney and looking down at me laying there and the doctors and nurses talking and plunging needles (and other rubber things ) into me, and hearing them tell my husband that they didn't know anything yet. It was so peaceful. No white light, just a bright, soft peace. I didn't hurt and I wanted to keep feeling that peace. It was like that second before falling asleep - when everything is lose and comfy and safe. I hadn't felt that safe since I was a baby in my mother’s arms. I didn't want to 'go back' but I felt that I should. Then I saw my husband and WOOSH! There I was on the table feeling everything. I felt a ping of emotion almost like regret but not quite that lasted less than a split second. At the last I wanted to live. Perhaps its no different for anyone who is facing death no matter what condition they are in or how old they are.

[quankanne]

an additional thought, from a believer's viewpoint:

 

In weakness, power reaches perfection because you are strong in the Lord.

(2 Corinthians 12:9)