Mozzarella_Stick Posted October 21 Share Posted October 21 So I (22M) have a boyfriend (27M) who I love a lot. He’s really great when he wants to be but really awful when he doesn’t. We live 30 min from each other, a highway drive apart. Today he wanted to go to a bar near his place, and we took his car. We spent about 5-6 hours there, had a great time. He drank I think around 10 Bloody Mary’s. I drank past my limit, too, but by the time we were leaving I was sobered up. He couldn’t walk or talk straight. I took his keys, and he shook me down to get them back. We sit in the car, and he starts driving! I offered to drive, I offered to let him sit there until he felt better, he denied both. We get on the highway and he drives like a total and complete a**h***. Forty over the speed limit at one point. It genuinely scared me. He told me to shut up when I told him to slow down. I’m not against speeding a little bit, or driving after you’ve had 2 or 3 drinks. But he wasn’t doing that. All it takes is one driver to cut him off or one cop to see him speeding like that and in either scenario we are both royally f***ed. He drops me off at home, I offer to let him stay until he sobers up, he refuses. I went to sleep and woke up to him telling me he’s home. We haven’t talked since, I figure he’s asleep. I don’t know what to say. It wasn’t just me looking out for myself but him too. What do I do? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 21 Share Posted October 21 Report him to the police. Or leave him. Or both 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted October 21 Share Posted October 21 (edited) When he sincerely apologizes for what he’s done, solemnly promises that he’ll never drink that much again, and begs you to give him a chance, see if you can forgive him. If you can, make sure he is able to keep his promise before you start trusting him again. Perhaps best would be to put the relationship on hold for a while, until he shows clear signs of improvement. If he doesn’t show genuine remorse for what he did, the answer is obvious. Break up with him. Edited October 21 by Gebidozo Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted October 21 Share Posted October 21 Why did you get in the car with him? When you realized he was not going to give you the keys back you should have gotten out of the car and call yourself a taxi. The heck with him! Don't stand by someone that's about to kill himself, or about to kill someone else. Or worse, because becoming a quadriplegic for the rest of your life is probably worse than dying. Do you really want to be with someone that drinks himself to this level? About yourself, how did you know you were sobered up after 10 alcoholic drinks? It scares the hell out of me that people like you & him are on our roads. Ok, that being said, if he makes some type of hard realization about his drinking and putting people's life in danger then listen to what he has to say. If not, think hard what type of people you let into your life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted October 21 Share Posted October 21 Report him to the police and block him. He's seriously a danger to everyone around him - hopefully the police will take his license away and have him to go remedial classes or rehab. Also, in the future, why would you even consider taking a car somewhere if you're planning to drink a lot? Take a cab there and back. Or be the designated driver and don't drink. While he was obviously WAY worse than you here, you should have a think about your own actions and choices here. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted October 21 Share Posted October 21 You need to break up with this idiot. And why did you even get in the car with him in the first place, with him in the driver's seat? 13 hours ago, Mozzarella_Stick said: So I (22M) have a boyfriend (27M) who I love a lot. He’s really great when he wants to be but really awful when he doesn’t. So he's "awful" lots of other times too? Why haven't you broken up with this guy already? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted October 21 Share Posted October 21 This is unforgivable. Think about how it could have played out - he's drunk at the wheel, speeding, and causes a big accident in which people die, maybe one of them is you. I suggest you call the police next time the moron gets behind the wheel drunk, tell them where he's headed and then sit back and watch him get what's coming to him. Better still, just dump him immediately and find yourself a grown-up to date. Link to post Share on other sites
Leihla_B Posted October 22 Share Posted October 22 I walked away from a life-long friendship when friend turned into a dangerous drunk. Such a person can ruin lives on the turn of a dime, and as much as I love her, I love myself more. I'd suggest the same course for you. I'd also question your own judgment in getting in a car with the guy. You were not at the mercy of his lousy judgment--that choice was on you. What, exactly, did you expect? Walk away and thank yourself for using better judgment from now on. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 22 Share Posted October 22 7 hours ago, ShyViolet said: You need to break up with this idiot. And why did you even get in the car with him in the first place, with him in the driver's seat? So he's "awful" lots of other times too? Why haven't you broken up with this guy already? I got distracted by his drunk driving, and missed that he can be awful. What other problematic behaviours does he have? Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted October 22 Share Posted October 22 Obviously. Break up. Link to post Share on other sites
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