what does it mean if a girl from a dating app says she's chatting with other guys off the app?

[basil67]

3 minutes ago, 2bittz said:

I'm just wondering whether their kissing is actual attraction that could potentially lead to no strings sex, or if it's any real attraction at all. I'd rather it at least lead to sex than nothing.

Wait....you're feeling sad and rejected because kisses don't necessarily lead to casual sex?   Dude, what is wrong with you?

I thought you were sad because kissing didn't translate to getting a relationship

[2bittz]

5 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Wait....you're feeling sad and rejected because kisses don't necessarily lead to casual sex?   Dude, what is wrong with you?

I thought you were sad because kissing didn't translate to getting a relationship

yes, that was the main focus of my post technically I think I ultimately want an actual connection perhaps. not sure 100% but i'd rather be having sex than getting nothing. lol at least if the kisses that don't lead to sex are still actual physical attraction, then knowing that is also better than nothing. I wanna know whether these women actually find me attractive or are just drunk basically.. because then it makes me feel that I might be attractive enough to maybe have a chance

Edited October 30 by 2bittz

[basil67]

6 minutes ago, 2bittz said:

yes, that was the main focus of my post technically I think I ultimately want an actual connection perhaps. not sure 100% but i'd rather be having sex than getting nothing. lol at least if the kisses that don't lead to sex are still actual physical attraction, then knowing that is also better than nothing. I wanna know whether these women actually find me attractive or are just drunk basically.. because then it makes me feel that I might be attractive enough to maybe have a chance

When drunk, some women may find you properly attractive and be interested in dating you.  Some may find you attractive and not want a date.  Some may find you attractive and have a boyfriend at home.  And some are wearing 'beer googles' and you're only attractive to them on the night. 

The only way to find out how they really feel is to get their number at the end of the night and call them the next day.  Either ask them on a date or ask if they wanna come to your place to 'Netflix and chill'

[2bittz]

1 minute ago, basil67 said:

When drunk, some women may find you properly attractive and be interested in dating you.  Some may find you attractive and not want a date.  Some may find you attractive and have a boyfriend at home.  And some are wearing 'beer googles' and you're only attractive to them on the night. 

The only way to find out how they really feel is to get their number at the end of the night and call them the next day.  Either ask them on a date or ask if they wanna come to your place to 'Netflix and chill'

makes sense. that's what I was thinking. in my experience I have also had beer goggles but on rare occasions still found them attractive after the fact

[Gebidozo]

51 minutes ago, 2bittz said:

yes, that was the main focus of my post technically I think I ultimately want an actual connection perhaps. not sure 100% but i'd rather be having sex than getting nothing. lol at least if the kisses that don't lead to sex are still actual physical attraction, then knowing that is also better than nothing. I wanna know whether these women actually find me attractive or are just drunk basically.. because then it makes me feel that I might be attractive enough to maybe have a chance

Do you realize how unattractive this sounds?

Let me rephrase what you just wrote and show you what it feels like.

“I’m lonely and insecure. I’d be okay with anything, really, even a drunken kiss from a random girl in a bar would be enough if only I knew she finds me somewhat attractive. I really don’t know what I want, maybe I’ll be okay with commitment, who knows, but actually I just want some sex to soothe my fragile ego”.

Now, be honest with yourself. If you were an attractive, mature, confident woman, would you date a guy who is projecting this kind of vibe?

 

 

[2bittz]

13 minutes ago, Gebidozo said:

Do you realize how unattractive this sounds?

Let me rephrase what you just wrote and show you what it feels like.

“I’m lonely and insecure. I’d be okay with anything, really, even a drunken kiss from a random girl in a bar would be enough if only I knew she finds me somewhat attractive. I really don’t know what I want, maybe I’ll be okay with commitment, who knows, but actually I just want some sex to soothe my fragile ego”.

Now, be honest with yourself. If you were an attractive, mature, confident woman, would you date a guy who is projecting this kind of vibe?

 

 

they don't know I think like this lol

[fred123]

4 hours ago, 2bittz said:

Is drunken attraction ever real at least? Because I've had a lot of drunk girls kiss me. And I'm more concerned with the fact that she felt the need to tell me she was chatting with other guys. If that meant she was never interested why did she go on the date?

 

Did she tell you about other guys on the actual date or before?

[2bittz]

19 minutes ago, fred123 said:

Did she tell you about other guys on the actual date or before?

before

[Gebidozo]

1 hour ago, 2bittz said:

they don't know I think like this lol

Of course they do! Do you really think women are dumb? They’re picking up on this sad vibe of yours within seconds. And obviously that turns them off.

Possibly the most unattractive type of men are those obnoxious over-the-top guys who think any woman wants to sleep with them. But equally off-putting are guys who would beg for affection and agree to any humiliating condition (drunken sex, pity sex, friendzoned while hoping for sex, etc.).

What’s common to both types? Insecurity. The first pretends and overcompensates to hide it, the second embraces it in hopes of being qualified as a “nice guy”. Don’t go down either of those roads, they both lead nowhere.

[2bittz]

On 10/29/2024 at 1:43 PM, Gaeta said:

What is said online before a meeting is worth nothing. The real test is when meeting face to face. Don't ever give importance to compliments given before a meeting. She did not feel a connection, if she had she would have never mentioned chatting with other men. Men we meet don't need to know that, women get like 100 messages a day (I barely exaggerate) on these apps so of course we exchange with several people at first. It's not something to brag about. I agree she said that to express you're just one of the guys. If my bf had asked me that question on our first meeting I would have answered: no one as interesting as you! to make sure he knows I had a high interest in him. I get that you're saying it doesn't mean anything but it seems extremely bizarre to me.

I'm just wondering if she had absolutely zero interest in me why she would be super engaged in chatting with me?? No woman just flirts like that unless they're looking for attention. She also sent me a video of her screaming at a concert and a photo of her with her face mask becuase she said she felt comfortable. Was she just looking for validation? I'm super curious if she told other guys that she was talking to other guys. This is always extremely confusing to me. I get that you're saying it doesn't mean much until you meet in person but it seems extremely odd to me. 

Edited November 8 by 2bittz
more descriptive

[Gaeta]

59 minutes ago, 2bittz said:

I get that you're saying it doesn't mean much until you meet in person but it seems extremely odd to me. 

Get used to it, it's part of dating. This is a learning opportunity. Remember what people advise you. 

When l first tried online dating l was close to 40. I knew nothing about dating (married my first boyfriend l met at 17). It was hard, l was naive, gave too many chances, could not identify red flags, etc. But each failed date was a learning experience and with time l got pretty good at identifying time wasters. You will get better at it too.