Uncertainty

[SilverLeaf47]

To be honest I have no idea what i feel. The other day i was convinced that this girl liked me and it caused me alot of anxiety. I dont exactly know what made me anxious. After futher digging i found out that it was not a definite crush on me but rather she feels we get along well. When i found this out it was like a relief but also meade me disappointed and sad yet i dont feel even close to as anxious as i was. I feel like i should have a crush on her. She is amazing. She is so intelligent and the only one to matches me academically. She is very pretty with gorgeous blue eyes. She is so outgoing much more than me. She shares similar ambitions to me with regard's to future careers. We have a sort of academic rivalry where whenever we have a test she always asks what i got. I always beat her by a few percent. Every time i do she rolls her eyes but not in a bad way. She even says ‘why do i bother asking its just going to annoy me’ even though she is still second in the school. Even after this we dont talk outside of school only at the pub or at parties. When i imagine a romantic relationship with her not alot comes to mind. Mainly feelings on uncertainty hit me. But every now and then i feel so happy at the prospect of romance with her. Ut is usually short lived though. She is a very attractive person and i feel as if i should have a crush on her. Over the last day or two shes all i can think of. With the information on her opinion of me i have nearly completely lost my appetite and i haven’t been able to any study or school work.I haven’t been able to focus whatsoever. What do you think of my situation.What should i do. Please go into as much detail as possible.

[basil67]

She sees you as someone she gets on well with, and you're emotionally comfortable with this.   I'm not sure what help you need.

[Leihla_B]

On 10/30/2024 at 1:02 PM, SilverLeaf47 said:

I feel like i should have a crush on her.

Be careful of 'shoulds'. What would be the advantage of a crush? They often turn people into anxiety-ridden fools who can't function around the person. Even worse, some people torture themselves so badly that they mistake this as some woeful condition that can only be healed if they 'confess' their feelings to the person.

Needless to say, that's overkill and usually turns out badly.

Don't go there. Keep your head, enjoy your interactions, and get to know one another in small doses over time. If this evolves into wanting to ask her out for a walk, a coffee, or a date, then go ahead and do that. If not, then don't work yourself into fantasies that won't serve you beyond making you lovesick--with zero advantage.

Emotional intensity is not an indicator of successful outcomes. Often, it's just the opposite.

Edited 7 hours ago by Leihla_B