99% of women I find attractive are with guys who are taller or more muscular than me

[2bittz]

Is it just in my head? I'm slim and 5 foot 8. Idk if my standards are too high? They don't all necessarily look like supermodels either. People say my looks aren't the issue but I'm having a really hard time believing it.

Edited November 1, 2024 by 2bittz
typo

[basil67]

If the only women you find attractive are all with other guys, then they aren't available to you anyway.    What are you doing to connect with single women?  

[2bittz]

24 minutes ago, basil67 said:

If the only women you find attractive are all with other guys, then they aren't available to you anyway.    What are you doing to connect with single women?  

So I'll never have anyone available to me that I find attractive? Mostly just dating apps. But will ask out women I know on rare occasions.

[Gebidozo]

My best friend is 5.8 or so, average looking, and overweight. He’s always had success with women because he is a great guy, kind, caring, funny, and passionate about his work. A buddy of mine is 5.5, slim, average looking, not muscular at all, he is one of the biggest Don Juans I know, women are all over him, because he’s charismatic, charming, and great at what he does. A college mate of mine is also about 5.5 tall, underweight, no muscles, not good looking at all, had huge success with women, because he was smart, interesting, calm, mature, generous, and never complained.

Edited November 2, 2024 by Gebidozo

[Leihla_B]

2 hours ago, 2bittz said:

So I'll never have anyone available to me that I find attractive?

Not unless you can find someone attractive who is not already partnered with someone else.

[basil67]

3 hours ago, 2bittz said:

So I'll never have anyone available to me that I find attractive? Mostly just dating apps. But will ask out women I know on rare occasions.

If you're telling me that the only women you find attractive are ones that have partners, then yes, the problem is not your height/weight

[Marka]

10 hours ago, 2bittz said:

Is it just in my head? I'm slim and 5 foot 8. Idk if my standards are too high? They don't all necessarily look like supermodels either. People say my looks aren't the issue but I'm having a really hard time believing it.

how old are you? if you are in your 30ies or older it is only fair that many women will not be available at that age,  your pool is naturally small. If you are in your 20ies then the issue maybe not that you are not attractive enough but indeed you are attracted only to unavailable people

[Gaeta]

I know & see plenty of men out there under 5'8" who have girlfriends and wives.

The problem is the only quality you are looking for in a woman is her attractiveness and you think women do the same. We don't, at any ages women need more than muscles on a man to be attracted to him. The first thing on top of the list is confidence in himself. 

[2bittz]

14 hours ago, basil67 said:

If you're telling me that the only women you find attractive are ones that have partners, then yes, the problem is not your height/weight

that's not at all what I'm saying lol. I'm saying if I see them with a man they meet that criteria.

[2bittz]

14 hours ago, Leihla_B said:

Not unless you can find someone attractive who is not already partnered with someone else.

of course I know and see plenty of women who aren't with a guy. but I can almost bet those are the guys they go for.

[Gaeta]

24 minutes ago, 2bittz said:

I can almost bet those are the guys they go for.

What do you think is the solution to your problem?

[stillafool]

There are plenty of good-looking short women.  Go get you one.

[basil67]

3 hours ago, 2bittz said:

that's not at all what I'm saying lol. I'm saying if I see them with a man they meet that criteria.

All this business of looking at women and their boyfriends seems rather pointless.   

How is your dating life going?  Do you have a social life?

[Leihla_B]

4 hours ago, 2bittz said:

of course I know and see plenty of women who aren't with a guy. but I can almost bet those are the guys they go for.

Okay, no sense in trying then. Right?

[Gebidozo]

7 hours ago, 2bittz said:

of course I know and see plenty of women who aren't with a guy. but I can almost bet those are the guys they go for.

So what you’re basically saying is that all the women on the planet Earth are either partnered with tall, muscular men, or want to be partnered with them.

I hope you realize that this is comically incorrect. If this is indeed mysteriously and unfathomably happening to you, the answer is obvious: you’re looking at the wrong women.

Find women who are attracted to the type of man that you are, physically and intellectually and spiritually. 

[ShyViolet]

5' 8 is not even short for a guy.  It's a perfectly fine height for a guy.  If you having trouble with dating it's not due to your height.

[BaileyB]

I’m average height for a woman - 5’4. A man who is 5’8 would be “tall” to me. I would have no problem dating a man of your height. 

Your problem is not your height. 

[basil67]

My daughter is almost 5'8.  Her boyfriend is 5'6.    The problem is not your height

[Lotsgoingon]

Dude you  need to interact with real people in the physical world. Heck just pay attention to women coworkers and women friends and family you knew growing up.

You have frightened yourself into thinking women demand X and Y. No, women find all kinds of different people attractive. I'm not just saying that. It's true. But you won't get that if you're just walking down the street checking out women from a distance or if you're spending huge amounts of time online. 

Get out in the world and interact with real people. 

[mark clemson]

I will be brutally honest and say this taller/muscular thing is probably mostly in your head and your lack of dating success has more to do with a lack of experience/the specific social skills needed for dating/your personality. Yes, physical traits matter, but they certainly are not everything, particularly when it comes to women. A man who knows how to attract women isn't going around worrying about the height of other men.

Perhaps you are only attracted to "the most attractive women" who will pick only the most attractive/otherwise successful men and you are not "making the cut". If that's the case, then in order to date successfully you'll just need to accept that human biology is what it is, and look for women more in your swim lane.

Edited November 4, 2024 by mark clemson

[Gebidozo]

OP, perhaps the problem is that, for some strange reason, you are interested in shallow women.

Really attractive and interesting women simply don’t choose men according to their height and build. Sure, these are valid criteria and they matter, but not as much as talent, personality, character, moral integrity, kindness, sexuality, intelligence, humor, charisma, ambition, and other traits.

A woman who chooses boyfriends based primarily on their height, build, facial features, etc. cannot be truly attractive in my eyes. I wonder what exactly attracts you in those women you’ve described? To me, such shallow preferences would be a major turn off.

[Trail Blazer]

On 11/2/2024 at 9:25 AM, 2bittz said:

Is it just in my head? I'm slim and 5 foot 8. Idk if my standards are too high? They don't all necessarily look like supermodels either. People say my looks aren't the issue but I'm having a really hard time believing it.

Looks could be part of the issue if the women you're attracted to are among the upper echelon of the gene pool.

All things being equal, women are going to pick the guy who is subjectively more attractive out of two guys.

Women are attracted to taller, muscular guys.  But, having said that, women are attracted to so many other aspects, too.

At the end of the day, you need to go out there and present yourself (in a non-creep way) as a viable dating option and see where it leads.

Dating apps are not the real world.  Statistics prove how difficult dating apps are for the average guy, so don't take too much stock in that.

At the end of the day, focusing on one area and making it a black or white proposition when it could be a range of factors is foolhardy.

Just focus on being the best version of yourself; be authentic and genuine and the rest will take care of itself.

If you never land the woman you're attracted to, then sorry my man, you may have to reassess what truly attracts you to a woman.

[2bittz]

On 11/3/2024 at 8:12 AM, BaileyB said:

I’m average height for a woman - 5’4. A man who is 5’8 would be “tall” to me. I would have no problem dating a man of your height. 

Your problem is not your height. 

I'm wondering if I'm too slim then.

[2bittz]

On 11/4/2024 at 10:50 AM, Gebidozo said:

OP, perhaps the problem is that, for some strange reason, you are interested in shallow women.

Really attractive and interesting women simply don’t choose men according to their height and build. Sure, these are valid criteria and they matter, but not as much as talent, personality, character, moral integrity, kindness, sexuality, intelligence, humor, charisma, ambition, and other traits.

A woman who chooses boyfriends based primarily on their height, build, facial features, etc. cannot be truly attractive in my eyes. I wonder what exactly attracts you in those women you’ve described? To me, such shallow preferences would be a major turn off.

It could be that the women are shallow yes.