Go with your gut/interesting comment

[fred123]

I'm confused why women say certain things and whether to call them out on it.

Like are they saying it because they aren't into the guy?

Spent a couple of weeks talking to a girl on the phone and text and she went a away for a few days on vacation. When she came back and had our first date I asked her how her vacation was and love to see some pictures of where she went/what she did.

 

She replied "I can't show you my camera roll there's stuff on it" 

My reaction was like what is she hiding and it's shady. 

Does a women know when she says that she makes the guy feel insecure and think certain things, esp when she mentions later on she went on a date whilst on vacation.  So then I'm thinking she is hiding pictures of them together or even sensual ones.

 

Anyways I was turned off. Would it be wrong that I wanted to leave the date shortly after?

[Phntasy333]

Yes, she was deceptive, yes call it out and yes leave. You deserve better. Im a female. You are right. Of course she knew she was being shady. You can not make a good choice without ALL the information.. thats important info...  she knew its deception.  

[fred123]

1 hour ago, Phntasy333 said:

Yes, she was deceptive, yes call it out and yes leave. You deserve better. Im a female. You are right. Of course she knew she was being shady. You can not make a good choice without ALL the information.. thats important info...  she knew its deception.  

Sarcasm?

[Phntasy333]

No im serious. If she can not share the pics thats an excuse. Call it out. Especially in the.beginning.. how can you make a choice without all the information. I believe in honesty and if i have to hide a roll of film from a guy who wants to know me .. wow id show him all.. id want to hear all about him and tell him about the photos. I apogize if i came off sarcastic. I did not sleep well.[ ] 

Edited 3 hours ago by a LoveShack.org Moderator
off topic

[Gaeta]

4 hours ago, fred123 said:

Spent a couple of weeks talking to a girl on the phone and text and she went a away for a few days on vacation. When she came back and had our first date I asked her how her vacation was and love to see some pictures of where she went/what she did.

She replied "I can't show you my camera roll there's stuff on it" 

Why so long for a first meeting?

She could have shown you a couple of pictures without giving you her phone but the fact she refused to do that makes me think she was not on vacation and had no pictures to show. Yes, like you I would have been suspicious and would have lost interest. 

No reason to feel insecure, be proud of yourself for recognizing a red flag.

[glows]

Just immature, hurtful. It’s ok to let go and date someone else who is more considerate.

[smackie9]

nothing to call anyone out on....if it doesn't feel right then it's not. Don't like it, walk away. It's a red flag, move on. 

[flitzanu]

i think your instinct is fairly accurate, but way too early to start accusing someone of being shady.  a person is entitled to privacy, and especially if it is the first time you ever met someone and they don't want to start showing off pictures of themselves on their phone.

 

[ShyViolet]

This is a woman you went on ONE date with, and already you're accusing her of being shady for not wanting to show you her camera roll, and for mentioning she went on a date with someone else.  You sound like the one who is being a little over the top.  This is a person you went on ONE date with, she is not your girlfriend and she certainly doesn't owe it to you to show you her phone.  I think you were being a little nosy.

[Acacia98]

If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't have asked to see the pictures. I think that's asking too much. No one owes you their private pictures. I would have asked the generic question about how the vacation was and left it to her to choose what to share.

Having said that, if you've already decided you don't trust her, then continuing to see her would be a waste of time for you both. You can't build a relationship or even a friendship on a foundation of zero trust. So by all means, let her go and move on to the next person.

[Gaeta]

I don't see anything wrong in asking to see a couple of pictures especially if she had gone to an exotic place. She could have shown him a picture or 2 of a building or a mountain. If she acted all suspicious it's because she had nothing to show. I would be super happy to show a picture of let's say Paris if I had gone there. 

Edited 4 hours ago by Gaeta

[Leihla_B]

11 hours ago, fred123 said:

...esp when she mentions later on she went on a date whilst on vacation. 

Mentioning other dates is someone who is deliberately playing with your head. The appropriate response would NOT be to call her out on it--that's just creating drama that's wasted on someone who isn't worth your time.

Just 'next' her and meet up with the next woman until you find someone who is right for you. 

[Acacia98]

13 hours ago, fred123 said:

Does a women know when she says that she makes the guy feel insecure and think certain things, esp when she mentions later on she went on a date whilst on vacation.  

(...)

Anyways I was turned off. Would it be wrong that I wanted to leave the date shortly after?

This, rather than the pictures, would be my focus. Multidating isn't easy. But it is even more difficult when the person you're dating keeps throwing it in your face.

Quote

 

I'm confused why women say certain things and whether to call them out on it.

 

Like are they saying it because they aren't into the guy? 

 

Individual women presumably say those things because that's part of who they are. So your role is to assess what they're saying, determine what it tells you about their personalities, and decide whether you, consequently, want to be with them.

If a woman says something that leads you to feel you can't trust her or be comfortable with her, it is perfectly okay for you to stop dating her. You don't need to call her out on it. Remember, you're not her parent, teacher, or psychologist. It's not your responsibility to help her become a better version of herself. Your role is simply to figure out if she is right for you. It is enough to decide you won't see her again. You don't need to explain why to her. And you don't need others to validate your choice.

Edited 3 hours ago by Acacia98

[basil67]

13 hours ago, fred123 said:

I'm confused why women say certain things and whether to call them out on it.

Why would you bother calling someone out when you're not going to see them again?   Do you have a need to be "right"?

[glows]

She didn’t feel comfy showing you pics and thought she had to show her camera roll (lol I don’t know why I thought this was so funny, feels almost like a lost in translation moment) ..calling her out if you mean to her face will just get you a nasty comment I think. If you meant by calling her out on a forum anonymously as a rant have at it. 

just move on..