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Should we have sex?


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Here are the basics: I (F19) have a really close friend (M20). We know each other from years and there have been times when things definitely looked more romantic than friendly. However, we have only cuddled 2-3 times and he once tried to kiss me with no success (the kiss attempt was 2 months ago). For 5 days now, we are both single (we never actually had any other romantic moments when we both were single before) and things hot heated up pretty fast. 

The night he broke up with his gf, he was behaving flirty and protectively (from other guys trying to flirt with me at the bar) and decided to come over and spend the night at my place. Well, he then hugged me and tried to kiss me, again. This time I answered and he immediately looked me in the eyes and ask me really nice and caring stuff like: "You are not drunk, right?" ,"We are not going to ruin our friendship?", etc. He also reassured himself that we were NOT going to start a relationship (which is fine by me). After being certain that everything is okay, we hooked up hot but somehow I was feeling it all a bit odd and thus stopped it before we slept together. He asked me why am I feeling odd and when I had no adequate answer, he just said: "Ok, no worries" and hugged me. Then we just slept peacefully. 

In the morning everything was back to normal and we were just close friends again. A day later we were out with some peers and he did his regular thing: told me that he is going to try and hook up with one of the girls. Well, he tried but I think that he did nothing. When he wasn't around I cried a bit, honestly, cause I felt like a piece of meat on the market. Anyhow, it was a sleepover and during the whole night we two talked the most with each other and on the next day it was as if the other girl didn't exist at all. He was entirely focused on me (in a friendly way) and thus I felt great. 

2 days ago I decided to text him with a proposition for him to come over, so that we can have sex properly this time. Just a one-night stand, no strings attached. He agreed but said it will be in a couple of days cause he is busy rn. We were out on a bar with some friends yesterday and it was all friendly and great again--his attention on me. So, my question is: should we sleep together? Because I think I like him and I will be left hurt after just a casual sex with him. My hope is that he likes me too. I want a relationship with him but is this the way and should I do it?

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2 hours ago, KELT said:

...he did his regular thing: told me that he is going to try and hook up with one of the girls.

There's no way that I'd get sexual with anyone who would say this to me.

Head high, and respect yourself.

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On 11/7/2024 at 4:54 AM, KELT said:

When he wasn't around I cried a bit, honestly, cause I felt like a piece of meat on the market.

I think this makes it clear that you don't just want casual sex with him. Casual sex is fine if it's what both people want, but you evidently have feelings that go beyond that, so it's a terrible idea.

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My hope is that he likes me too. I want a relationship with him but is this the way and should I do it?

Girl you literally said "He also reassured himself that we were NOT going to start a relationship (which is fine by me)." This is not going to lead to a relationship. Don't do it unless you're genuinely okay with having sex with him and then watching him flirt with other women the very next day.

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No. 
anyone asking on the internet should not consider sex.

wait until you know for sure what the answer is all on your own.

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ExpatInItaly
On 11/6/2024 at 7:54 PM, KELT said:

So, my question is: should we sleep together? Because I think I like him and I will be left hurt after just a casual sex with him.

Nope, very bad idea. You are going to get hurt. He has already been clear that he does not want a relationship with you. 

On 11/6/2024 at 7:54 PM, KELT said:

When he wasn't around I cried a bit, honestly, cause I felt like a piece of meat on the market.

Just wait until after you have sex with him. This will be even worse. 

On 11/6/2024 at 7:54 PM, KELT said:

Just a one-night stand, no strings attached.

Life lesson: do not offer this when you already know your feelings are involved and you want more. Casual sex with this guy is going to be an emotional disaster for you. 

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