how to stop being pathetic

[Kim]

Can you please help me out? Me and my boyfriend have been seeing each other for over a year. At first things were good and he really loved me and wanted to be with me. I'm a very strong and independent person (or at least I have been) and I thought I was good with relationships. well I've only been in 1 long one before and dated a couple guys.

 

and when I broke up with those guys I didnt even care. I mean I was sad and all..but you know, you get over it. And when we'd break up, I'd totally end it, I woudlt keep calling or cry on and on about it. I was normal, you know?

 

But this guy..I'm just crazy about him. He's everything I wanted. But he can be so mean sometimes. And for awhile we've been arguing. I guess I get jealous easily and when he would go out with the boys, I'd ask him who he went out with. And I'd tell him to call me back when he got home at night.

 

well he's been going out every weekend, fri sat sun wtih his boys. they're going to bars or goto bars and then goto clubs afterwards. i don't care if he hangs out wiht his friends or even goes to clubs, but he's been doing this every weekend.

 

well I want to break up with him but then it hurts me too much, and I feel like I'm going crazy, and I call him again.

 

He told me he wanted to be left alone for awhile cause we werent getting along. I said no i don't want to do that, that doesnt solve anything...if you wanna break up then break up but not ask for time alone for awhile. so he said no i dont want to break up i just need time away from you and away from all this fighting. (cuz all ewe've been doing is fighting)

 

well i did something very stupid. i'd keep calling him and crying to him. he'd say call me at 10pm, i'd call and he wouldnt answer so i'd call like 20 times and he has caller id so he'd know how many times i called him. and then we met and we argued and he drove away so i went to his house and kept calling and calling but he wont answer so i waited outside for 4 hrs until i had to goto bed before my mom got mad for being late. and then he says he wants to be with me and make this work out. but when i act so emotionally unstable and keep crying everytime we talk, it pushes him away. and he says i'm really weird and pathetic. and one of our mutual friends saw that i kept calling him while he was with him, and today he told me i'm acting very desperate and to leave him alone.

 

i dont want to break up. how can i get him back? he tells me oh i want to make love to you. we haven't done that for 2 months. that'll make everything better i think if we're close to each other. do you think it will? or do you think he just wants to use me? and then he tells me he loves me and when he found out this other guy liked me he got mad and said "oh you gonna call him as soon as you break up?" and he says "why dont you break up with me if i'm hurting you so much? why you waiting for me to do so?" and I told him no, if he wants to, then go ahead. but he won't.

 

how can i completely change my attitude and win him back, and make him want me like he did before? oh and we live in NYC, and next friday him and his friends rented a limo and are gonna drive down to DC to goto bars and clubs all night long, because it's his friend's bday. But he's going too and I know there will be other girls in the limo and if they're all drunk they might do something? and who knows about the girls in DC? I want to go with him. should i ask him to take me along?

 

so anyways, how do i stop being desperate and win him back????

[sparkle]

and who knows about the girls in DC?

Yeah, I heard they're all freaks. They're going to tie him up, rip all his clothes off, and take turns taking advantage of him. Nope, you definitely don't want to send him down here.

[Julia]

Okay......you remind me of what I used to do when I was 19...well i wasnt as bad....(that wasnt meant to be nasty)......

 

this is my advice on how u should handle the situation

 

Dont phone him for a few days........

 

let him go out on his weekends by himself, as many times as he likes and dont say a thing! you just go do what u want to do!

 

Start making a life of your own!

 

Dont accept a date with him if he only gives you a days notice, coz he will think that u will see him when ever he wants

 

try this, then tell us how it goes

 

bye from aussie land

[missthang1997]

Girlfriend i have been though that also. And just like Julia said .........he will come back if you act like you don't need him. When that happened to me he waited a month and a half to call and beg saying how sorry HE was. After that I made him wait 2 months before I gave him some, and he was panting like the dog that he was acting like. After that he never acted like a typical male again. Sooooooooo do not have sex with him and do not be available when he wants u to be

Okay......you remind me of what I used to do when I was 19...well i wasnt as bad....(that wasnt meant to be nasty)...... this is my advice on how u should handle the situation Dont phone him for a few days........ let him go out on his weekends by himself, as many times as he likes and dont say a thing! you just go do what u want to do! Start making a life of your own! Dont accept a date with him if he only gives you a days notice, coz he will think that u will see him when ever he wants try this, then tell us how it goes bye from aussie land