Opinions please?

[George_]

I hope you're ready for a long story, if not then turn back now!

So, I'm 19 (M), and my now-ex is 18 (F). We got together in Jan of this year, and started dating in Feb, sadly broke up in Oct. It had been my first gf (I'm not her first bf) and it had been a great year. We went abroad, London, saw concerts and was amazing, literally couldn't be happier. Unfortunately, in around August time it started to go downhill. We argued about small things, such as whose house we were staying at, going gym etc. We never had an argument that involved cheating, lying etc, the big ones. I understand this early on arguing wasn't ideal, but we believed the arguing would end eventually, we're still young. It stopped for a while then slowly started back up again in September. It was taking a toll. Then one night, it went too far. 

I was picking her up from work, and she decided to stay on drinking which was fine I was with her. She got drunk and the plan was to drive back to mine, but then whilst we dropped her friend off, she got out the car and peed in the middle of the road, when there was a house she could've gone into and a bush nearby. Bearing in mind, there were people about. I told her off in the car (not aggressively) just an adviceful telling off and suggested what to do instead, but this time she started screaming and crying at me. I understand she was drunk, but I believe a lot of it came from her heart. She told me to drive back to hers, during the stress I took a wrong turn and she believed I did it on purpose (I didn't). She then told me to drop her off on the road and she'd call her mum to pick her up. She was completely in bits, sobbing and crying begging for her mum to pick her up, even though I had not touched her at all, okay I got a bit mad during the argument which was both of us, but nothing more. I pulled over and she went into the corner and phoned her mum, and stayed on the phone to her whilst she drove over (like half hour). She wouldn't go near me, reason with me and I was 100% calm. Her mum eventually arrived, she asked to hand over her stuff from her car which I did, and they drove off, which left me finding a way home. 

Got to the next day, and I dropped round some flowers to her and her family, one for her and also I found out her step-dad had gone into hospital that night after we argued, unknown to us. She invited me in and was much more calm, we sat at the table and spoke in private. We basically spoke about what happened, but in the end she said she wasn't sure we should continue, and she said she would let me know her answer the next day. This was hard but figured she didn't want to tell me the answer then I drive home in a state. My mum and her mum intervened at this point. She then called me later on that day, and ended it, to not leave me hanging. We were both very emotional.

We went a few days without speaking, but we didn't block each other and said we can still be in contact. We may have taken this too far however and met up twice in the week or 2 after. It was great, we went out for food and I really thought we were gonna get it back on, as she seemed really happy and reminisced on us, discussed the future etc. She even said she just wanted to run away with me. I dropped her off to work the next day, but she seemed different. The night before we spent time together and went out, and even kissed and hugged, which I think she regretted. She said she still wasn't sure about us, but the answer wasn't yes nor no. I got the feeling we should have just gone 'no contact' until she was ready to make a decision, and that's what I told her that week, and that's what we did.

We went a week without talking, again not cutting each other off, but just giving her space to make a decision. Then came the end of the week, she messaged me asking if she can pick her stuff up the next day, which I said yes. She also said she would come into my room to get them, maybe also talk. I already had them bagged up, but when she arrived, her mum and brother were at the door instead requesting the stuff, as they said she burst into tears and said she couldn't do it (not sure which bit). I handed them over.

I was pretty upset, as I knew this is probably the end, but I sent her a last message saying that I care about her, that I will give her space, maybe a bit too long of a message. She didn't open the message for a day, then, the next day, I saw that she blocked me. On everything. I was distraught, as she didn't give me any closure, any explanation, but just blocked. She even promised to let me know the answer of us getting back together before, guess that was it. The following days saw messages between me and her mum go back and forth, not necessarily about my ex, but about transferring some money back and when I can get my clothes back. Her mum was quite defensive and accused me of being possessive and controlling which I absolutely wasn't, and she said I had been impatient etc etc, this was a month on. Eventually she sent the money back, then proceeded to block me as well, but I never got my clothes back.

Here we are present day November, still hurts with no closure. Admittedly I did message her on WhatsApp which she hadn't blocked me on, asking if she wanted to talk (last week). But she just replied saying 'no I don't please stop', then blocked me on there as well. Maybe I shouldn't have messaged her.

As a whole, she said to me that she'll always miss me, and that she loved me and didn't want to break up, even said she doesn't want anyone else but then went and did this within like 2 days. She just mainly said she was confused and din't know what she wanted. I have a good relationship with her dad whom I met a few days ago for a drink, he seems understanding. Does she want long term thinking space? Is it over for good? I just want a bit of guidance on this and I apologise for the length of this. 

All thoughts appreciated.

[S2B]

Be done with her - there is too much drama.

start dating other gals.

[Gaeta]

So young, so much drama. 

You need to breakup for good, block and delete and go date other girls. All this is painful to read. Relationships are not suppose to be like this, it's suppose to be fun and respectful even at your age. My daughter is 20 yo, she met her boyfriend at 17 still in high school. They never EVER fight. They are kind & supportive & respectful toward each other. Go get yourself a *nice* girlfriend.

[ShyViolet]

She has already made it clear to you that this relationship is over.  Accept it.  And it is weird and inappropriate that you hung out with her Dad a few days ago.  Leave this family alone and move on.

[George_]

@ShyViolet not the helpful answer I was looking for. He actually asked me to go for a drink which I forgot to add, nothing weird about it. Me and him had a good relationship and he had nothing to do with it.

[basil67]

 

4 hours ago, George_ said:

She was completely in bits, sobbing and crying begging for her mum to pick her up, even though I had not touched her at all, okay I got a bit mad during the argument

The only thing which makes sense here is that her version of what happened that night is a lot different to yours.   I'm not suggesting that you did touch her, but I can't help wondering what you said.