SingleFather Posted November 12, 2024 Share Posted November 12, 2024 My fiancé got upset the other day for having a 3 way conversation with her and another woman in the nail salon. The conversation seemed very harmless to me and didn't set of any alarms in terms of the other woman flirting with me. My fiancé said that anytime a woman speaks to me, I should ignore them, point the conversation back to my fiancé, or just walk away. My partner also said that any woman that speaks to me, while she is there, is simply trying to cause problems in our relationship. I thought she was crazy and told her I have never heard of this being a thing. As we discussed this, she further stated that I should never look at another woman (i.e. look down or away when one approaches). I should also never help another woman out if she dropped something, needs a door opened, etc. I told her, in the future, I would politely dismiss the person and avoid any future conversation. However, she is adamant that I should respond more rudely by walking away or ignoring them completely. I was raised to be polite to people and being rude just doesn't sit well with me. It seems like she is asking me to go against my core belief as a person to be kind to others. This world is rude enough and no need to add to the chaos. Is she overreacting or am I just out of the loop? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted November 12, 2024 Share Posted November 12, 2024 She's stark raving mad! How did you get to the point of being engaged to her without knowing that she's a control freak? 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted November 12, 2024 Share Posted November 12, 2024 Why in the world are you dating such a controlling and disrespectful woman? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted November 13, 2024 Share Posted November 13, 2024 She’s a possessive, jealous control freak. Please get out of this relationship before you get emotionally abused. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted November 13, 2024 Share Posted November 13, 2024 This is not "a thing." This is a crazy woman that you need to dump. Make that "a thing." 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted November 13, 2024 Share Posted November 13, 2024 Is this the first time you've been made aware of her strange rules? I'm wondering why you've chosen to marry somebody who wants to control you as if you were a robot. Sounds miserable. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Leihla_B Posted November 13, 2024 Share Posted November 13, 2024 And you agreed to this? It's nuts. You've just opened the door to a cray-cray that will only escalate, it never gets better. I'd tell GF that I've rethought this, and I'm not going to comply with her demands. She can take that to mean anything she wants, but I'm not going to play. I'd reconsider this relationship. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted November 13, 2024 Share Posted November 13, 2024 She is being irrational, crazy and controlling. And the fact that you're caving in to it and accommodating it is equally concerning. There is something wrong with your fiance and this is not normal behavior in a relationship. You shouldn't be agreeing to this. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted November 13, 2024 Share Posted November 13, 2024 Not to mention that if your username means what it appears to, you are a parent. Spare your child, please. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted November 17, 2024 Share Posted November 17, 2024 (edited) On 11/12/2024 at 1:40 PM, SingleFather said: My fiancé got upset the other day for having a 3 way conversation with her and another woman in the nail salon. The conversation seemed very harmless to me and didn't set of any alarms in terms of the other woman flirting with me. My fiancé said that anytime a woman speaks to me, I should ignore them, point the conversation back to my fiancé, or just walk away. My partner also said that any woman that speaks to me, while she is there, is simply trying to cause problems in our relationship. I thought she was crazy and told her I have never heard of this being a thing. As we discussed this, she further stated that I should never look at another woman (i.e. look down or away when one approaches). I should also never help another woman out if she dropped something, needs a door opened, etc. I told her, in the future, I would politely dismiss the person and avoid any future conversation. However, she is adamant that I should respond more rudely by walking away or ignoring them completely. I was raised to be polite to people and being rude just doesn't sit well with me. It seems like she is asking me to go against my core belief as a person to be kind to others. This world is rude enough and no need to add to the chaos. Is she overreacting or am I just out of the loop? Oh for god's sake take the ring back and run for the hills! She's got issues man and you can't fix someone that is crazy insecure like a jack rabbit. Edited November 17, 2024 by smackie9 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author SingleFather Posted February 20 Author Share Posted February 20 My fiance keeps making comments insinuating that I am cheating with another woman. I have told her that I'm not. I have told her the comments make me feel bad; like I"m being accused of a crime that I am innocent of. I even took a professionally administered lie detector test (on 2 different occasions) and was found to be telling the truth (both times)! However, she still continues to make comments as if I'm cheating on her. It only causes arguments and makes me resent her. Not sure what else I can do at this point. Any thoughts? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 20 Share Posted February 20 You've asked about her jealous behaviour before, and we all told you she's crazy and you should leave. But you left us all on read. Are you expecting different answers this time? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted February 21 Share Posted February 21 Your ‘fiance’ is completely unreasonable! just know if you stay in this union you will spend so much time and effort trying to appease her - at an unreasonable level! it’s not realistic to avoid interacting with opposite sex people in the world! it is reasonable to interact without being flirtatious. this gal is completely unreasonable and I can’t help but wonder why you would participate with someone who is completely out of their mind with jealousy on this level? most men would say “leave if you do t want me talking to the cashier at the supermarket”! Seriously, they say hello, how’s your day going? And you should be capable of saying I’m having a great day, you? these are normal stranger greetings that should be expected in a kind world. the narrow leeway she’s given you should be met with a TON of pushback - but you know that and that’s why you’ve asked. grow a backbone and tell her to knock it off. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted February 21 Share Posted February 21 6 hours ago, SingleFather said: My fiance keeps making comments insinuating that I am cheating with another woman. I have told her that I'm not. I have told her the comments make me feel bad; like I"m being accused of a crime that I am innocent of. I even took a professionally administered lie detector test (on 2 different occasions) and was found to be telling the truth (both times)! However, she still continues to make comments as if I'm cheating on her. It only causes arguments and makes me resent her. Not sure what else I can do at this point. Any thoughts? Yes, get rid of her! Problem solved! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author SingleFather Posted February 21 Author Share Posted February 21 Thanks for the input everyone. I'm trying to make it work as she is pregnant with my child. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 21 Share Posted February 21 (edited) You're having a baby with her? What were you thinking! In that case, you're going to have to find your spine and start telling her NO! Edited February 21 by basil67 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted February 21 Share Posted February 21 (edited) Sorry to hear this. She sounds painfully insecure..as in agonizingly so. Her responses are appalling and it’s not clear who hurt this woman for her to behave like this. Did she acknowledge your response? Ie What did she say when you told her this wasn’t how you were raised to behave? Since there’s a child now involved and she’s pregnant.. what would you want for your child? How do you both see your child being raised? Would you (personally) want your child to be raised seeing their father behaving in a way you disagree with? Do you want your child to be raised the same way you were? How would you both as parents raise your child in regards to teaching manners, the topic of self confidence and respect for others? Lots of questions to ponder. Edited February 21 by glows 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted February 21 Share Posted February 21 16 hours ago, SingleFather said: Thanks for the input everyone. I'm trying to make it work as she is pregnant with my child. Shaking my head. It was very irresponsible of you to have a baby with someone who is this toxic. Your first post about this was back in November and the overwhelming advice you were given here was to leave. Not sure what else you want us to say. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted February 22 Share Posted February 22 23 hours ago, SingleFather said: Thanks for the input everyone. I'm trying to make it work as she is pregnant with my child. Frankly, it doesn’t look like it’s going to work. Your fiancée has serious mental issues and refuses to address them and work on them. You really don’t want your child to be raised in a toxic environment dominated by an aggressively controlling person. She must start therapy immediately and show signs of improvement, otherwise breaking up with her would be a better choice. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted February 22 Share Posted February 22 On 2/20/2025 at 9:48 PM, basil67 said: You're having a baby with her? What were you thinking! In that case, you're going to have to find your spine and start telling her NO! And figure out how much child support you’ll pay when you have the child 50% of the time. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 22 Share Posted February 22 2 hours ago, S2B said: And figure out how much child support you’ll pay when you have the child 50% of the time. Where I live, if it's 50/50 there would be no child support. Or is that your point? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted February 23 Share Posted February 23 ^^^ that would be ideal. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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