Jemand94 Posted November 20 Share Posted November 20 Since August I (M30), dating girl (F30). seen each other around 10 times. Met via Tinder, which she deleted shortly after we started dating. She was very responsive in the beginning and open. However during this time: - She texted all of a sudden not anymore, after pushing from my side she admitted that she is doubtful (due to past and cost her time to let people into her circle). This was being discussed and not the case after a while. Good contact afterwards; - Found a newly created profile of her on a dating app (sent to me via a friend); she indicated that she felt alone an evening and it was just to kill some time during an evening; - Arguments 2x because she completely misinterprets things that I say (including a meltdown in a restaurant); - Her lovelanguage are acts of kindness. Only when drunk she sends lovey text messages. Which makes it hard what goes through her mind; - Now: distant behaviour from her side again. I suggested to have a break (no contact for a few days). However, I am doubting if I even want to continue. She looks attractive but this is no solid base for something serious. My question: My question is what your guys' opinion is of this all? And what you would do in this situation? Quits, give it some time, reach out to her etc? Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted November 20 Share Posted November 20 100% Breakup 10 dates is not worth all that drama. She is not into you, it's clear as daylight. Know when it's time to quit and go invest in someone more deserving. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted November 20 Share Posted November 20 She isn't very interested, OP. 3 hours ago, Jemand94 said: Arguments 2x because she completely misinterprets things that I say (including a meltdown in a restaurant); And why would you want to date an adult who has a public tantrum? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted November 20 Share Posted November 20 Newish relationships aren't about commitment, they are about gauging whether or not that person is compatible. This is only three months in and she's clearly not the one. Just end it and move on 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Leihla_B Posted November 21 Share Posted November 21 (edited) On 11/20/2024 at 11:11 AM, Jemand94 said: I am doubting if I even want to continue. I agree with you. Your time would be better spent seeking someone with whom you feel fAbulous. Only an adrenaline junkie wants a roller coaster ride that leads to nothing more than the next low point. Head high. Edited November 21 by Leihla_B Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jemand94 Posted November 21 Author Share Posted November 21 Appreciated, and if she would consider/indicates willing to show more intentions to proceed with me? Would you then also consider to go further with her? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jemand94 Posted November 21 Author Share Posted November 21 On the verge of sending a message with: this and this I expect and if not, we should end it.. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted November 21 Share Posted November 21 (edited) 28 minutes ago, Jemand94 said: Appreciated, and if she would consider/indicates willing to show more intentions to proceed with me? Would you then also consider to go further with her? No, because again, why would you even consider dating an adult who has public meltdowns? Where are your standards, man? Edited November 21 by ExpatInItaly Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted November 21 Share Posted November 21 agggghhhhh, trying to keep hope just because she's hot? Have some dignity....stop wasting your time. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted November 21 Share Posted November 21 1 hour ago, Jemand94 said: On the verge of sending a message with: this and this I expect and if not, we should end it.. That's a horrible message. If you really want to fix things, you need to talk about how the incidents as they happen, using dialogue about how they made you feel. That said, you've only seen her 10 times and there are already quite a few problematic behaviours and a lack of interest. Just end it with some benign comment about "I think we're not the right fit. I wish you well in your future dating" Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted November 22 Share Posted November 22 10 dates in 3+ months with a woman who has public tantrums, is only "lovey dovey" when drunk, and created a new dating profile when you were ostensibly exclusive. Do you really need our consensus to see what a non-starter this is? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Leihla_B Posted November 23 Share Posted November 23 On 11/21/2024 at 2:27 PM, Jemand94 said: Appreciated, and if she would consider/indicates willing to show more intentions to proceed with me? Would you then also consider to go further with her? No way. She has meltdowns--she's not stable. If she's nice to you one day, she's an awful shrew the next, and that's the opposite of 'relationship material'. On 11/21/2024 at 2:41 PM, Jemand94 said: On the verge of sending a message with: this and this I expect and if not, we should end it.. No, terrible message. When someone mistreats you, that's all you need to know. Sticking around to put conditions on that only demonstrates no self-respect, which invites more mistreatment. Link to post Share on other sites
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