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How do you see my ex wife's reaction?


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OlderForYoung

I was 46 and my ex was 44. I divorced my wife last year because I confessed  I have a thing for young men and she couldn't handle it which I accepted. There wasn't much love in our marriage anyways, we didn't have a happy marriage, so we just agreed to move on.

A few months after our divorce, I met and started a friends with benefits relationship with a 20 year old man. When I visited a local supermarket where my ex worked, she suddenly started to yell at me, asking me if I left her for a young man to which I replied no. She told me I should be ashamed of myself and that I am a scum and a creep. I told her it's none of her business, and just left the store and never been back out of embarrassment. 

I never spoke to her again either. She left to work overseas and I am over it, but I don't think she had any right to do that. I am just wondering how other people see it. My friends said she was jealous. 

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You didn't have a happy marriage, so this was just more of the same

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ExpatInItaly

She obviously thought you cheated on her. It wasn't right to make a scene in public, but I can see why the whole situation hurt her and why she might have been suspicious. 

8 hours ago, OlderForYoung said:

I don't think she had any right to do that. I am just wondering how other people see it. My friends said she was jealous

Better question: what does it matter now? Whether ot not she had a "right" to do that or whether she was jealous doesn't change anything for you at this point. Does it? 

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Who initiated the divorce?

It sounds as though she believed you cheated on her during the marriage.

You can return to the store now. Nobody there was as interested in the scene as you might believe, and nobody's going to remember you as 'that guy'...

Head high.

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OlderForYoung
13 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said:

She obviously thought you cheated on her. It wasn't right to make a scene in public, but I can see why the whole situation hurt her and why she might have been suspicious. 

Better question: what does it matter now? Whether ot not she had a "right" to do that or whether she was jealous doesn't change anything for you at this point. Does it? 

Because I received a harsh response on Reddit. Few women called me a pedo and people really were mad. Glad it's much more chill here. 

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OlderForYoung
6 hours ago, Leihla_B said:

Who initiated the divorce?

It sounds as though she believed you cheated on her during the marriage.

You can return to the store now. Nobody there was as interested in the scene as you might believe, and nobody's going to remember you as 'that guy'...

Head high.

She did... 

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ExpatInItaly
8 hours ago, OlderForYoung said:

Because I received a harsh response on Reddit. Few women called me a pedo and people really were mad. Glad it's much more chill here. 

Generally, yes. 

But I am still curious why you're seeking opinions on this at all (on any forum) if you have moved on. 

Edited by ExpatInItaly
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ShyViolet

It sounds like this stuff is all in the past and really doesn't matter now.  I would just move on.

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OlderForYoung
On 11/22/2024 at 7:18 AM, ExpatInItaly said:

Generally, yes. 

But I am still curious why you're seeking opinions on this at all (on any forum) if you have moved on. 

I guess I am still little bothered about her reaction. I don't want it to happen again with anyone. 

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ExpatInItaly
17 hours ago, OlderForYoung said:

I don't want it to happen again with anyone. 

How could it? 

She was the one married to you. How could anyone else accuse you of cheating and leaving for someone else? 

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It's jealousy, it's pain, frustration, disappointment, feeling of failure all wrapped up in that big blow out. She has not made peace yet with what happenned. One year is a short time and often not enough to get over a divorce, and there you appear all happy with your boyfriend. 

You really cannot understand someone elses difficulty to move on? 

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OlderForYoung
On 11/24/2024 at 9:36 AM, ExpatInItaly said:

How could it? 

She was the one married to you. How could anyone else accuse you of cheating and leaving for someone else? 

The fact she accused me of cheating out of nowhere is sus to me. Especially since we were divorced for ages. And she hated I had a much younger sex buddy than her, shows she was insecure because of her age. My opinion. 

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OlderForYoung
On 11/24/2024 at 12:45 PM, Gaeta said:

It's jealousy, it's pain, frustration, disappointment, feeling of failure all wrapped up in that big blow out. She has not made peace yet with what happenned. One year is a short time and often not enough to get over a divorce, and there you appear all happy with your boyfriend. 

You really cannot understand someone elses difficulty to move on? 

No because there were no feelings anymore between us. She even expressed her disgust, yet she dished out abuse at me. 

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ExpatInItaly
8 minutes ago, OlderForYoung said:

The fact she accused me of cheating out of nowhere is sus to me. Especially since we were divorced for ages. And she hated I had a much younger sex buddy than her, shows she was insecure because of her age. My opinion. 

Again, why does this matter to you now? Who cares if it made her feel insecure? 

It's over and been over for a while. She's moved on now. 

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I just re-read your first post.   

You were having a dalliance with a very, very young man and took him to her place of work.    What the actual F?    This is nothing more than trolling her and you got what you deserved.  

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Lotsgoingon

Thank you @basil67. I missed this point on first read as well.

Why go to her workplace? Did you expect a Nobel Peace Prize from your ex-wife at HER job with your new young partner?! That was gratuitously rude and provocative on your part. 

 

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