hawkcountry Posted November 25 Share Posted November 25 Not roses but any other type I have known this girl for a few years and it turns out she was always into me and would hope I would ask her out, but I was in a relationship with someone else. That is over now and after reconnecting with this girl I asked her on a date and it went well and we are planning on going out again after Thanksgiving(she is flying out to Arizona to see family) ,and I know SHE LOVES flowers so I thought about getting her flowers when I pick her up next time. Thoughts? Alot of people thinks it comes off as pushy or desperate, but I see it that this girl has been wanting me to ask her out for a few years now so this isn't like we have never met Quote Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted November 25 Share Posted November 25 (edited) YES! of buy her course flowers. She's no stranger, so I feel it's appropriate. I don't get women these days... they get freaked out over a guy being a gentleman bringing some flowers for a first/second date. OP just don't go crazy. Buy a small bouquet of colourful flowers. Edited November 25 by smackie9 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author hawkcountry Posted November 25 Author Share Posted November 25 40 minutes ago, smackie9 said: YES! of buy her course flowers. She's no stranger, so I feel it's appropriate. I don't get women these days... they get freaked out over a guy being a gentleman bringing some flowers for a first/second date. OP just don't go crazy. Buy a small bouquet of colourful flowers. yea I don't get it. It's like holding a door, walking her to the door, flowers are looked down upon now! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted November 25 Share Posted November 25 I think if you two already know each other beforehand then it's fine. Probably don't overdo it with a huge expensive bouquet, but a few flowers is a nice gesture. It also helps differentiate the date from a "friends' hangout", which you two would have been on in the past. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author hawkcountry Posted November 25 Author Share Posted November 25 59 minutes ago, Els said: I think if you two already know each other beforehand then it's fine. Probably don't overdo it with a huge expensive bouquet, but a few flowers is a nice gesture. It also helps differentiate the date from a "friends' hangout", which you two would have been on in the past. good point. we never did hangout befoere though. also i did signify it was a date 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted November 25 Share Posted November 25 Some women like flowers and some don't. Some would think it's weird and too much, and some would appreciate it. It really just depends on the individual. If you feel that she would like it, then go for it. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted November 25 Share Posted November 25 1 hour ago, hawkcountry said: good point. we never did hangout befoere though. also i did signify it was a date Absolutely. I'm not saying that she would be confused without the flowers, just that it's a nice touch that reminds her of the difference. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted November 25 Share Posted November 25 It's ok because you know each other already and you know she likes you. If she was a stranger you just had 1 meeting with l would say a definite no. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted November 26 Share Posted November 26 (edited) You say she LOVES flowers. Does she like cut flowers or does she prefer to admire a plant in full bloom? Cut flowers make some people sad because their life is cut short Just a thought... Edited November 26 by basil67 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted November 26 Share Posted November 26 Go with your heart and buy her some flowers. Overthinking is a buzz kill. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted November 26 Share Posted November 26 What's important is how you feel and how you act. You like her and feel like buying her flowers, buy them. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Esteban Posted November 26 Share Posted November 26 I tend to get a bunch of red roses after the first sex, and nothing before. I did that twice this year, and it worked well both times. I like getting them sent to her house so she doesn't have to carry them around, or you carry them for her, so no awkwardness there. I feel like as a man giving flowers on a 1st or 2nd date comes across as a bit much and it could be seen as using them to get something. Whereas doing it after making love for the first time is a nice gesture that comes across differently, and is reassuring that you aren't about to run away from her after sleeping with her. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Esteban Posted November 26 Share Posted November 26 I'm not saying you shouldn't get her flowers this time though. Just telling you what I did. If you feel like it's a good idea go for it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author hawkcountry Posted November 27 Author Share Posted November 27 16 hours ago, Lotsgoingon said: What's important is how you feel and how you act. You like her and feel like buying her flowers, buy them. I know. I just see the other side where people say "it comes off as clingy!" then it scares me off Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted November 27 Share Posted November 27 I think it's a lovely gesture, especially since you two already know each other and you know she is fond of flowers. Go for it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted November 27 Share Posted November 27 (edited) Man, young people are getting imprisoned by this nonsense of "it comes off as clingy." You can't control how something comes off to another person. A person judges clinginess by how truly desperate you are--not how you "appear". A person is clingy and desperate when they don't know how to say "no" to another person and when they are willing to dump their lives to fit into the schedule of another person. It's OK to fall hard about another person. If things don't work out, it would be because you gave the person flowers. BTW: giving the person flowers won't overcome lack of interest either. Edited November 27 by Lotsgoingon Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted November 27 Share Posted November 27 55 minutes ago, Lotsgoingon said: Man, young people are getting imprisoned by this nonsense of "it comes off as clingy." It's all about how it's gonna make them look. This is a generation that has only known life with social media. As a GenX I don't give a heck what people think but my Genz kiddo is all about 'people are gonna judge me'.....my natural response is always: so what? 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted November 27 Share Posted November 27 OMG @Gaeta I work with young people and this "clingy" thing ("I don't want to be seen as") is totally out of control with GenZ. I think back on my life, part of dating--and the fun of it in some sense--was tuning into your desire to approach the other person and then going for it! If it didn't work out, if the other person wasn't interested, I came back and told my male buddies and they laughed about it in a kind way---for half and hour. And I would move on. Thank God, we never told each other in those days, "hey, if you had worn better shoes, she would have liked you more." Wearing those old shoes, you probably "came off" as someone who .....fill in the blank. Heck I was desperate and clingy at times, I'm sure. But that didn't stop me from being a good partner in relationship. Wanting to meet someone a lot because you really are crushing on them is not needy. Showing interest is just showing interest. The way young people talk, showing any interest puts them in jeopardy of being a stalker. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted November 30 Share Posted November 30 No… It’s giving simp. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Georgia46 Posted November 30 Share Posted November 30 Yes.. buy her the flowers Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Andy_K Posted December 1 Share Posted December 1 (edited) In this situation yes, absolutely okay. You've known her a long time, and you know she likes flowers. If you know what type of flowers she likes best, even better! Normally though, if you two only recently met, I would have suggested not. If you don't know for 100% sure she will like flowers, then you are really doing no more than trying to buy brownie points. It might work sometimes, but really you should be trying to build on something more real. Edited December 1 by Andy_K Quote Link to post Share on other sites
happyhorizons Posted December 4 Share Posted December 4 On 11/26/2024 at 9:37 AM, smackie9 said: Go with your heart and buy her some flowers. Overthinking is a buzz kill. This ^^^ is a GREAT piece of wisdom. Do not overthink things IF IT FEELS RIGHT ......JUST DO IT Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author hawkcountry Posted December 6 Author Share Posted December 6 UPDATE I got er flowers and she LOVED them. Kept bringing it up multiple times. After the date she sent me a picture of them saying thank you date went great still no kiss but we held hands during the movie and i had my hand on her leg and she put her hand on top of mine she said she hopes to see me again and she feels so comfortbale around me 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
happyhorizons Posted December 6 Share Posted December 6 20 minutes ago, hawkcountry said: UPDATE I got er flowers and she LOVED them. Kept bringing it up multiple times. After the date she sent me a picture of them saying thank you date went great still no kiss but we held hands during the movie and i had my hand on her leg and she put her hand on top of mine she said she hopes to see me again and she feels so comfortbale around me So glad things went well. I agree the flowers were a good idea. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted December 6 Share Posted December 6 On 12/1/2024 at 5:57 AM, Miss Spider said: No… It’s giving simp. Literally the only people I know who even use that word are 20-yo incels. 2 hours ago, hawkcountry said: UPDATE I got er flowers and she LOVED them. Kept bringing it up multiple times. After the date she sent me a picture of them saying thank you date went great still no kiss but we held hands during the movie and i had my hand on her leg and she put her hand on top of mine she said she hopes to see me again and she feels so comfortbale around me Happy to hear that. Enjoy! 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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