Is he interested?

[Mamabear502]

There is a guy I like. We are friends. He is 4 years younger than me. He said he isn't interested and is looking for someone younger than him. However whenever we see each other he acts totally different. He will actually look for me knowing my work schedule. I’m generally confused if he may have an interest in me. Twice he had his arm out for me to touch him. He is on some dating sites and hasn’t had a hit yet despite messaging several women. He also only had 1 relationship in his life and hasn’t been in one in 18 years. He never married and doesn’t have kids. I would love some advice on this. 

[NuevoYorko]

No.  A guy who has told you he is not interested actually IS NOT INTERESTED.   Save yourself the heartache.

[Georgia46]

Have you actually told him your interested and he’s said back I’m looking for someone younger?

[Mamabear502]

Yes. I asked him if he wanted to go out sometime. Just dinner, not like relationship thing. We went to Culver’s once. He said he would keep me in mind but isn’t looking right now because he has a lot going on in his personal life. Everyone keeps telling him to find a younger woman so he can have kids which is why he wants someone younger. He still lives with his parents, and his only relationship was back in high school about 18 years ago. He’s over 35 yrs old

[ShyViolet]

If you've tried and he has already told you he's not interested, I am not sure why you are asking this question.  Maybe listen to what he has said.

[Georgia46]

1 hour ago, Mamabear502 said:

Yes. I asked him if he wanted to go out sometime. Just dinner, not like relationship thing. We went to Culver’s once. He said he would keep me in mind but isn’t looking right now because he has a lot going on in his personal life. Everyone keeps telling him to find a younger woman so he can have kids which is why he wants someone younger. He still lives with his parents, and his only relationship was back in high school about 18 years ago. He’s over 35 yrs old

Ahhh sadly that sounds like he’s trying to tell you no but in a nice way *I’ll keep you in mind* 

 

I think I’d leave this one be.  
 

What about trying dating apps/ meeting other available people? 

[stillafool]

4 hours ago, Mamabear502 said:

He said he isn't interested and is looking for someone younger than him.

When a man comes right out and tells you he isn't interested in you but looking for someone younger than him, what more do you need to know to determine he that he doesn't want you?

[basil67]

He's told you how he feels.  Is there any reason you don't believe him?   Perhaps he's your FWB or something? 

[Gaeta]

23 hours ago, Mamabear502 said:

He still lives with his parents, and his only relationship was back in high school about 18 years ago. He’s over 35 yrs old

Why would a woman about to turn 40 want to date a man like that? Please aim a little higher. 

No he's not interested. 

[Els]

If he's being touchy feely, he's looking for casual sex at most. He's said quite clearly that he doesn't want a relationship, so why don't you believe him? More importantly, as a 39yo woman, do you really even WANT to date a man who's living with his parents??? Like, I could see myself being okay with it when I was 18 or 21 or maybe even 24... But if you're in your 30s why on earth would you even want to do that?