Shy one Posted August 11, 1999 Share Posted August 11, 1999 Well to start...I am learning to enjoy sex alot more now that I have gotten older. But I just can't seem to "let myself go" when having sex.I used to be able to reach orgasm with him but for some reason I can't. I think my question here to you is blocking from being able to(worring) I enjoy pleasing my man and I definetly enjoy when he pleases me but I just don't feel comfortable telling him how I like it or even to show him how I like it. Last time we made love he sweetly took my hands and put them on my body where he wanted them. He obviously wanted to see me pleasure myself. I did enjoy it but still once again just not comfortable doing this.I felt kind of embarrassed. I am really shy to let my sexual desires show I guess. And I am afraid that he will end up getting bored or frustrated with me. Can you help me out here. Also.. What reall does turn a man on? I'm afraid to kiss,lick or even caress a certain areathinking it might turn him off. Or just think I am strange.Is all this what could possibly be keeping me from reachin orgasm with him? Thank you for taking your time to read m question. Hope to hear from you soon. Link to post Share on other sites
dianora Posted August 11, 1999 Share Posted August 11, 1999 It sounds like you need to start talking to him more. It will be hard at first but if you are in a good relationship, it is a neccesity. It sounds like he wants you to be more involved in sex, and from what I've read, I don't think you should be worried about turning him off. Be honest with him and tell him to let you know what he likes, it seems like most guys would be good about being open and helping you discover what they like. I'm not sure what exactly the "certain area" is that you are talking about, but I have a feeling I can guess. Frankly, if you love each other, I don't think much that you do (touching, licking, etc) can be bad. Guys, back me up here? I think once you get to know him better sexually, it will be easier for you to open up and express what you like. I can't imagine how learning more about you and seeing you enjoy yourself more would be boring for him. Give yourself a chance, go slow, it will become easier with time if you just put in the effort. Trust him, and yourself. Good luck. Well to start...I am learning to enjoy sex alot more now that I have gotten older. But I just can't seem to "let myself go" when having sex.I used to be able to reach orgasm with him but for some reason I can't. I think my question here to you is blocking from being able to(worring) I enjoy pleasing my man and I definetly enjoy when he pleases me but I just don't feel comfortable telling him how I like it or even to show him how I like it. Last time we made love he sweetly took my hands and put them on my body where he wanted them. He obviously wanted to see me pleasure myself. I did enjoy it but still once again just not comfortable doing this.I felt kind of embarrassed. I am really shy to let my sexual desires show I guess. And I am afraid that he will end up getting bored or frustrated with me. Can you help me out here. Also.. What reall does turn a man on? I'm afraid to kiss,lick or even caress a certain areathinking it might turn him off. Or just think I am strange.Is all this what could possibly be keeping me from reachin orgasm with him? Thank you for taking your time to read m question. Hope to hear from you soon. Link to post Share on other sites
Draconis Posted August 12, 1999 Share Posted August 12, 1999 As usual, I have not quoted the message to which I am responding. To begin, I should say I am a 20-year old guy presenly not in college--just to give you a certain degree of understanding of my perspective. Do NOT be shy or worry about not pleasing someone...probably the thing that will turn a guy off the most is someone who doesn't seem to "be into" the sex. In worrying about how he'll react, you're probably doing the most to turn him off. In any case, unless you are a total ƒuckup (which you seem not to be), you are not going to be causing a guy any distress by attending to his physical pleasures. If you think you're doing the right thing, you probably are, but in the VERY unlikely case you don't, he'll let you know. remember that he WANTS you to feel good and he wants to feel good himself. So in summary: lose the inhibitions, don't worry about whether or not he'll like it--he will. Just do what makes you feel good and what you think he'll like and you'll do fine. Hope I helped you out some...and remember, this is just my opinion based on my own experience. To good fun and great sex, Draconis Link to post Share on other sites
Liza Posted August 12, 1999 Share Posted August 12, 1999 first of all, you sound like you don't want to even have sex with this guy....don't do something you don't want to do....the sex you are having is just plain sex.....but to make love with someone is a total different story....maybe this guy isn't your true love and if that is so then that is why you can't be yourself around him....if i were you i wouldn't let him do anything i didn't want him to do and i wouldn't do anything that i didn't want to do.....just stand up for what you want and don't worry about pleasing him....worry about yourself...because it sounds like he doesn't worry about what you want if he just puts your hands were he wants them.....find a man that will show you respect...... Link to post Share on other sites
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