need a woman's view point -please help

[wondering?]

Hi: I tried to make this as short as possible, but, in order to understand the situation, you need to know what happend. Please give me advice, as to what happend here, it makes no sense to me.

 

1)I meet a girl about 2 years ago,she was dating my cousing then, I felt an attraction for like karma.

 

2)last year in march, I gave her a job working with me, she started ok, but, things got bad, she missed work often, i help her, becouse she was dating my cousin,

 

but, i soon realise that was a lie, i was telling myself, and i was helping her because of what i felt for her. during this time i rescue her from many predicaments, everytime something happend, she would call me desperately looking for help, which i gave,

 

3) I know she noticed that I liked her, and I paid her alot of attention, we ended up going out to dinner after work, having a few drinks, and just talking as friends and co-workers, there was never anything romantic or sexual, we never did anything else, i lend her $$ anytime she needed it, and we were kind of friends,,, one night, i did tell somethig i should not have, it slip out, it was during the time I took her to buy her a car, her car died, she had no money, so i gave her the money she needed and took her looking for a car, my cousin wanted me to help her find her a car, and i just wanted to help her, having no transportation they both needed a car, so, rented her a little white convertible and she was driving the car back to her house, as the moon light hit her face, i said to her, wow, you look so beautiful, and then it slip out,.. I said... , would you marry me.. she was in shook, and i was too,,, i guess.

 

4)anyway, things did not go to well, we did more things together, but, slowly, she began to pull away from me, my cousins mom worked at the office too, and so did another of my cousins, they have seen the attention i was given her, and there was alot of fighting and arguments because of it. it got so bad, that i just decided to just end it. so, i closed the business this was on dec of last year.

 

5)one night, after work, we had a couple of drinks (she would pick him up late in the evening,,so, she was bored with nothing else to do, so, i would invite her as friends)

 

i had one to many, and i told her i loved her, on which she replyed with a sweet tone of voice that still echos in my head,, i love you too! i had have to many and whe was worried about me, so she call me repeatedly during the night, but, i was too tired to answer, and she call me first thing in the morning, and i told her i was okay.

 

6)She had asked me to help her get a place on december because she was in the same house with mhy cousins mom, and she wanted out.

 

I got the impression that she wanted her own place so she could leave him.. and they had managed to have enough money to buy him a car, so, she would tell me that she felt more free of him,,,she had told me a couple of times that if she left him, she will go with me.

 

7)In december just before we parted ways, i bought her an airline ticket so she could go to see her mom on christmas, during our conversations, she told me many times how she missed her mom, and that she had not seen her in many years, so, as a christimas gift i gave her the ticket.

 

needeless to say, she did not go, she was afraid he would cheat on her, since, his loyalty and his history was less than perfect.

 

6)she finally broke up with him in january, so she said, we did not talk since, december, she was mad at me for closing the business, so she did not want to talk to me, she called me in february 15, telling me that she had lost her purse, and need $ for rent, so i gave it to her. and then she told me she had split up. i met with her gave her the$$ and we had a couple of drinks, it was fun, but, then she had to leave. She also, told me, that just because she had split up, it did not mean that she wanted to go out with me, and told me not to even try it, and i did what she asked.

 

7)i did not hear from her until may when she called me telling me that she was pregnant with his baby, and wanted an abortion, so, i gave her the money. She had told me she had spit up with him but, they were still leaving in the same house, unitill a couple of week before, when he left for good.

 

8)in june, i called her and offered her to do some work with me, and she seem like she wanted to, but, never showed up, and would not return my calls. I have not heard from her since.

 

9)the last things that echo in my mind is her telliing me that her life has changed, we could not really be friends again, and that she was seing other men.

 

i dont know how this will sound to you, i was not trying to steal my cousins girl, i did all i could to help them stay together, and yes, i had feelings for her, and did tell her at some point, but, no matter what i did for her, i never ask her for anything but her friendship. Yes, toward the end, i did tell her i wanted to be with her, but that was only after going out with them one night and realizing that my cousin was not what I thought of him, and that he was only using her, he treated her like crap, and it was his way or the highway, and yet, he could not keep his eyes of any other woman in the place. only after that, did i aske her why she stayed with him, and told her, that i would care for her if she gave me a chance.

 

i feel that she does or did love me, yet, the last time i saw her in june, she said to me,, if i wanted to be with you back then, i would have, i would have broken up with him and gone to you, i done that before, but, i dont feel that for you.

 

yet, many times in the past, i would catch her looking at me for no reason,and i felt she did love me,.. i tried psychics etc,, they tell me we would be together. others say never.

 

i am confused to say the least. Please give me an unbiased opinion. thanks

[Buckeyegal]

Sorry, but my unbiased opinion is that the girl was just using you and she has flat out told you that she has never reciprocated your feelings for her, so I suggest that you believe her and move on...and DON'T fall for it again if in the future she calls you with some "crisis" that she needs help with. This woman sounds like a cold, uncaring user, however, you allowed her to take advantage of you. Why would you want to be with someone like this? Forget her.

Hi: I tried to make this as short as possible, but, in order to understand the situation, you need to know what happend. Please give me advice, as to what happend here, it makes no sense to me. 1)I meet a girl about 2 years ago,she was dating my cousing then, I felt an attraction for like karma. 2)last year in march, I gave her a job working with me, she started ok, but, things got bad, she missed work often, i help her, becouse she was dating my cousin, but, i soon realise that was a lie, i was telling myself, and i was helping her because of what i felt for her. during this time i rescue her from many predicaments, everytime something happend, she would call me desperately looking for help, which i gave, 3) I know she noticed that I liked her, and I paid her alot of attention, we ended up going out to dinner after work, having a few drinks, and just talking as friends and co-workers, there was never anything romantic or sexual, we never did anything else, i lend her $$ anytime she needed it, and we were kind of friends,,, one night, i did tell somethig i should not have, it slip out, it was during the time I took her to buy her a car, her car died, she had no money, so i gave her the money she needed and took her looking for a car, my cousin wanted me to help her find her a car, and i just wanted to help her, having no transportation they both needed a car, so, rented her a little white convertible and she was driving the car back to her house, as the moon light hit her face, i said to her, wow, you look so beautiful, and then it slip out,.. I said... , would you marry me.. she was in shook, and i was too,,, i guess. 4)anyway, things did not go to well, we did more things together, but, slowly, she began to pull away from me, my cousins mom worked at the office too, and so did another of my cousins, they have seen the attention i was given her, and there was alot of fighting and arguments because of it. it got so bad, that i just decided to just end it. so, i closed the business this was on dec of last year. 5)one night, after work, we had a couple of drinks (she would pick him up late in the evening,,so, she was bored with nothing else to do, so, i would invite her as friends) i had one to many, and i told her i loved her, on which she replyed with a sweet tone of voice that still echos in my head,, i love you too! i had have to many and whe was worried about me, so she call me repeatedly during the night, but, i was too tired to answer, and she call me first thing in the morning, and i told her i was okay. 6)She had asked me to help her get a place on december because she was in the same house with mhy cousins mom, and she wanted out. I got the impression that she wanted her own place so she could leave him.. and they had managed to have enough money to buy him a car, so, she would tell me that she felt more free of him,,,she had told me a couple of times that if she left him, she will go with me. 7)In december just before we parted ways, i bought her an airline ticket so she could go to see her mom on christmas, during our conversations, she told me many times how she missed her mom, and that she had not seen her in many years, so, as a christimas gift i gave her the ticket. needeless to say, she did not go, she was afraid he would cheat on her, since, his loyalty and his history was less than perfect. 6)she finally broke up with him in january, so she said, we did not talk since, december, she was mad at me for closing the business, so she did not want to talk to me, she called me in february 15, telling me that she had lost her purse, and need $ for rent, so i gave it to her. and then she told me she had split up. i met with her gave her the$$ and we had a couple of drinks, it was fun, but, then she had to leave. She also, told me, that just because she had split up, it did not mean that she wanted to go out with me, and told me not to even try it, and i did what she asked. 7)i did not hear from her until may when she called me telling me that she was pregnant with his baby, and wanted an abortion, so, i gave her the money. She had told me she had spit up with him but, they were still leaving in the same house, unitill a couple of week before, when he left for good. 8)in june, i called her and offered her to do some work with me, and she seem like she wanted to, but, never showed up, and would not return my calls. I have not heard from her since. 9)the last things that echo in my mind is her telliing me that her life has changed, we could not really be friends again, and that she was seing other men. i dont know how this will sound to you, i was not trying to steal my cousins girl, i did all i could to help them stay together, and yes, i had feelings for her, and did tell her at some point, but, no matter what i did for her, i never ask her for anything but her friendship. Yes, toward the end, i did tell her i wanted to be with her, but that was only after going out with them one night and realizing that my cousin was not what I thought of him, and that he was only using her, he treated her like crap, and it was his way or the highway, and yet, he could not keep his eyes of any other woman in the place. only after that, did i aske her why she stayed with him, and told her, that i would care for her if she gave me a chance. i feel that she does or did love me, yet, the last time i saw her in june, she said to me,, if i wanted to be with you back then, i would have, i would have broken up with him and gone to you, i done that before, but, i dont feel that for you. yet, many times in the past, i would catch her looking at me for no reason,and i felt she did love me,.. i tried psychics etc,, they tell me we would be together. others say never. i am confused to say the least. Please give me an unbiased opinion. thanks

[Miss Mojo]

hi wondering,

 

i think it is really unfortunate that this girl has walked all over you. i think for a long time you were blind to the fact that she was using you for money...but they do say that love can be blind. when you really love a person, it's not always easy to see their actions as insincere or detrimental to you.

 

the main impression i got was that she obviously knew how you felt about her, and she used it to her advantage. whenever there was a problem or a crisis (especially involving money), she would come running to you. i hate to say it, but she was using you and milking you for whatever she could get from you. when a person truly loves another person, they do not do that. as a matter of fact, anyone who respects another person wouldn't do that regardless of whether or not they love them. honestly, she sounds like a real b!tch.

 

if she asks you for anything again, you have to find it within yourself to say "NO". a true friend does not ask, ask and continue to ask for more. a true friend gives what they take, and take what they give. in your case, you were the one who gave so much, she took everything that was handed to her and she gave you nothing but heartache in return. you would be 150% better off without this girl in your life. of course you love her, but she sounds like a real user....and you're probably not the first guy who she has taken advantage of.

 

hopefully you can learn a valuable lesson from this....do not constantly give money or material things to a girl whenever she wants them. many things have to be earned, even in friendships. another lesson to learn is that most girls are not like this. many girls appreciate it when a person gives to them, and many girls give in return.

 

best wishes