Boyfriend sprayed his crotch area before going out to run errands

[CuriousCreature]

My boyfriend was getting ready to go out to do a few errands, when I noticed he sprayed a large amount of cologne on himself (this is normal) and then proceeded to spray his crotch area with the cologne. He looked at me when he did it and laughed a little after. I rolled my eyes and laughed a bit too but it since has me wondering if he might have done it with the intention of seeing someone else while he is out. I could be reading far too deep into this. For background purposes, we did go through a rough patch about a month ago when I found some inappropriate messages with another girl on his phone. He has been very sincere in his apology and I don't think he has been up to anything since. However, I am working through trust issues now. We spend 90% of our time together but of course, anything can happen in that 10%. Help!

[NuevoYorko]

A stinky crotch area can be very nasty.  At least he's got that covered.

[Gaeta]

How long have you been together?

about a month ago when I found some inappropriate messages with another girl on his phone - What type of inappropriate messages?

 

[Els]

Would you rather he go out all day and come home with a stinky groin?

[ExpatInItaly]

1 hour ago, CuriousCreature said:

then proceeded to spray his crotch area with the cologne. He looked at me when he did it and laughed a little after.

If he knew you were watching him, I am quite sure he did it just to be funny. It is very unlikely he'd have been so bold to do it in front of you  if he were actually freshening up the family jewels for another woman. 

1 hour ago, CuriousCreature said:

However, I am working through trust issues now.

And obviously, you have good reason not to trust him so I see why your mind is wandering. I don't think this particular incident is anything to worry about, though. 

Having said that, what steps has he taken to regain your trust? 

[CuriousCreature]

1 hour ago, Gaeta said:

How long have you been together?

about a month ago when I found some inappropriate messages with another girl on his phone - What type of inappropriate messages?

 

Just under a year. The messages were him asking an old flame (fling from before we met) to unblock him on social and there was something along the lines of "we used to have such a great time together..."  

 

Edited Thursday at 07:00 PM by CuriousCreature

[CuriousCreature]

1 hour ago, Els said:

Would you rather he go out all day and come home with a stinky groin?

There's always a shower? If you're really asking, I would prefer cleanliness over a cologne cover-up haha

[ExpatInItaly]

5 minutes ago, CuriousCreature said:

Just under a year. The messages were him asking an old flame (fling from before we met) to unblock him on social and there was something along the lines of "we used to have such a great time together..."  

Ouch. 

I am sorry you are dealing with this, OP.  

[CuriousCreature]

21 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

If he knew you were watching him, I am quite sure he did it just to be funny. It is very unlikely he'd have been so bold to do it in front of you  if he were actually freshening up the family jewels for another woman. 

And obviously, you have good reason not to trust him so I see why your mind is wandering. I don't think this particular incident is anything to worry about, though. 

Having said that, what steps has he taken to regain your trust? 

Thanks, I think you're right, though I'm not sure I explained it properly. He sprayed himself down there before quickly looking at me (as though to see if I was watching which I was) and then giggled. The mind is a tricky mechanism. 

In terms of trust, he's improved communication with me a bit (though we always had pretty good communication prior) and I do feel sincerity on his end. But that's about it to be honest, besides the initial apology.

Edited Thursday at 07:14 PM by CuriousCreature

[CuriousCreature]

10 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Ouch. 

I am sorry you are dealing with this, OP.  

Thank you ❤️

[Gaeta]

15 minutes ago, CuriousCreature said:

Just under a year. The messages were him asking an old flame (fling from before we met) to unblock him on social and there was something along the lines of "we used to have such a great time together..."  

 

Your relationship is too young to brush off something like this. we used to have such a great time together...  Is something people say when they want to rekindle something. With his past betrayal I would be wary of a boyfriend spraying his crotch with cologne to go grocery shopping.

[CuriousCreature]

21 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

Your relationship is too young to brush off something like this. we used to have such a great time together...  Is something people say when they want to rekindle something. With his past betrayal I would be wary of a boyfriend spraying his crotch with cologne to go grocery shopping.

Ugh, yeah and that's where my mind goes... 😢

[ExpatInItaly]

Honestly, this isn't someone I could continue dating. 

Not for the cologne incident in and of itself, but the fact that he went looking for an old flame. That tells you a lot about where his heart and mind are (ie. not really with you) and it would be a dealbreaker for me. I wouldn't personally be able to get past my partner not having the right feelings to stay committed to me, or not having the respect and better judgment not to act on a passing curiosity about an ex and actually go seeking her attention. Bad news, that. 

Stay with him at your own risk. 

Edited yesterday at 06:13 AM by ExpatInItaly

[MsJayne]

If it was just the spraying of the groin I'd brush it off as weirdness, (like who's going to be sniffing his crotch at the grocery store or the dry cleaners), but together with the texting of a nostalgia-laden message to an ex, I'm suspicious of him. 

[smackie9]

Should have followed him. Just stick one of those air tags on his car.