muka Posted November 28 Share Posted November 28 My first language is not English so sorry for any grammar or just mistakes in general I (18f) been on and off talking to this guy (18m) And ive been getting really mixed signals ive talked to my friends about this and i think he likes me but i might as well be going crazy these are all the things we have done or he has done thats giving me mixed signals, sorry if these pointers are a little childish ive only had 1 boyfriend my whole life so im a novice at dating and relationships 1. At 2 a.m., he listened to my heartbeat while holding me tighter, and I scratched his back. 2. When I would lay down near but not next to him, and he would sit up, take me, and pull me closer to him. 3. Every time I lay down after the going on my phone (i would lay down but not next to him), he’d shift so close that I ended up sleeping on the edge of the bed. 4. After he came back from the toilet he lied near me in silence, waiting for me to finish on my phone, and when I turned to him, he was smiling at me in the dark. 5. After a fight, we fell asleep back to back, but he woke up, covered me with a blanket, and hugged me. 6. He always had to touch me in some way while we lay together (his hand on mine, an arm on my shoulder, his head on my chest, or his leg over mine) 7. His entire attention was solely on me. What i mean by that is when the whole group was watching a movie or something he wasn't even watching it he was looking at me 8. He spent about an hour trying to take my ring off, and when I told him to stop and asked what was wrong with him, he asked who bought it for me and when I said I bought it myself, he stopped. 9. I was scrolling through my gallery, quickly skipped past a picture of my bicep, and he almost fought me to see it again, asking whose bicep it was, and when I said it was mine and showed him, he calmed down. 10. When we were lying together and just staring at each other in silence. 11. When he was sitting in the garage with me, smiling, watching me joke with my friends on my phone. 12. When I was scrolling through my gallery, and he saw a cute photo, stopped me from scrolling, and looked at that photo. 13. When he was constantly seeking reassurance from me. What i mean was he was asking me do i like this about him do i like that 14. When we were lying in bed talking, and he mentioned that I hung out with my guy friend, and I said it was only one time, and he said, "yeah right," in a jealous tone (even though I hung out with that guy 4 months ago), and he brought it up? 15. When we were lying in bed just talking he asked if i liked anyone from my grade (liked like a person not in a romantic way) At first i said no and he said mhm and then i said i actually did like one but hes like a brother and he just turned from me? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted November 28 Share Posted November 28 Of course he likes you. What are the mixed signals? I think he is signaling that he likes you. Now, my question to you is: why do you lay down in a bed, even sleep in a bed, with a guy that is not your boyfriend? 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted November 29 Share Posted November 29 Most important question first: are you two going on real dates? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted November 29 Share Posted November 29 Yes, he definitely likes you, maybe a little too much. There's no mixed signals here, some signals are affection, but others are about emotional dependence and possessiveness. You need to watch that, it can easily turn into controlling behaviour. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted November 29 Share Posted November 29 Are you living in a country where arranged marriages are prevalent? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted November 29 Share Posted November 29 I'm confused as well about why you are spending so much time laying in bed and / or sleeping with a guy who is not your boyfriend and evidently you are not even dating? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author muka Posted November 29 Author Share Posted November 29 18 hours ago, Gaeta said: Of course he likes you. What are the mixed signals? I think he is signaling that he likes you. Now, my question to you is: why do you lay down in a bed, even sleep in a bed, with a guy that is not your boyfriend? Mixed signals because were on and off , we were sleeping in one bed because everyone slept over at his place there was a group hangout our two bestfriends (they're a couple) slept in one bed , another guy slept on the couch, the only place left was his bed, now that i think of it i could've just slept with my friend not him Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author muka Posted November 29 Author Share Posted November 29 2 minutes ago, NuevoYorko said: I'm confused as well about why you are spending so much time laying in bed and / or sleeping with a guy who is not your boyfriend and evidently you are not even dating? Now that i think of it , everytime we laid in bed together was like a set up, our bestfriends are a couple so they always sleep together , but ive only slept twice in the same bed as him Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author muka Posted November 29 Author Share Posted November 29 59 minutes ago, smackie9 said: Are you living in a country where arranged marriages are prevalent? No, why? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted November 29 Share Posted November 29 35 minutes ago, muka said: Now that i think of it , everytime we laid in bed together was like a set up, our bestfriends are a couple so they always sleep together , but ive only slept twice in the same bed as him Rather than being so concerned with what he thinks or the signals he is sending, try to focus on your own comfort zone. What's pleasant for you? Do you have romantic interest in this guy? Do you feel comfortable with him staring at you in a bed in the dark? If the answer to any of these is NO, then please don't keep sleeping in a bed with him. If he is interested in dating you, I expect he will ask you to go out with him. If he does, and you like him, go ahead. Please pay attention to what YOUR boundaries are though. It sounds like they've been very blurry so far. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted November 29 Share Posted November 29 1 hour ago, muka said: Now that i think of it , everytime we laid in bed together was like a set up, our bestfriends are a couple so they always sleep together Have you confined in your friend that you like him? Instead of coming up with bad ideas like 'setting you up in same bed', they should encourage you and him to speak up about your mutual interest instead of playing these games - who could be dangerous games! Especially if you have alcohol and/or drugs during these parties. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted November 29 Share Posted November 29 3 hours ago, muka said: No, why? Just that he's attentive but incredibly shy about it that it's confusing you. I thought it might be because of a cultural thing. We don't know much about you so we ask questions. We do get a lot of people from all kinds of backgrounds on this site, and we like to do our best to understand your situation. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author muka Posted November 30 Author Share Posted November 30 22 hours ago, NuevoYorko said: Rather than being so concerned with what he thinks or the signals he is sending, try to focus on your own comfort zone. What's pleasant for you? Do you have romantic interest in this guy? Do you feel comfortable with him staring at you in a bed in the dark? If the answer to any of these is NO, then please don't keep sleeping in a bed with him. If he is interested in dating you, I expect he will ask you to go out with him. If he does, and you like him, go ahead. Please pay attention to what YOUR boundaries are though. It sounds like they've been very blurry so far. I am completely comfortable with him, the thing is these things all confuse me because even his friends were askin me if i liked him , and i just got so done with it i just told him everyone keeps saying you like me ( because his friend did) and he said and i quote " i dont want to be with a girl younger then me" then why were you doing all of these things? Especially acting jealous Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author muka Posted November 30 Author Share Posted November 30 21 hours ago, Gaeta said: Have you confined in your friend that you like him? Instead of coming up with bad ideas like 'setting you up in same bed', they should encourage you and him to speak up about your mutual interest instead of playing these games - who could be dangerous games! Especially if you have alcohol and/or drugs during these parties. Yes i have , our bestfriends are dating and his bestfriend and my bestfriend were saying that he needs to stop being shy and ask me out already, i did it myself because i just couldn't wait anymore and the mixed signals were messing with my mental health , and i kind of got rejected tbh? I just asked him if he liked me and he said " i dont want to date a younger girl" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted November 30 Share Posted November 30 53 minutes ago, muka said: i dont want to date a younger girl Yes it was a soft rejection. He made it about your age but he is simply not interested in dating you. It's alright, there is nothing wrong in being rejected. Not all of your crushes will like you back romantically. What he has been doing is enjoying all your attention because it flatters his ego but he has NO intention of dating you. Now, you need to stop this non-sens of pursuing him, sleeping in same bed, and tell your friends to cut it out!!! with trying to match you together when he rejected you. . Friends don't do that to friends. Your friends should encourage you to find someone to date that wants to date you as well. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted November 30 Share Posted November 30 2 hours ago, muka said: I just asked him if he liked me and he said " i dont want to date a younger girl" Then please stop sharing bed with him. You are the one who's keeping him company for now. You will be left high and dry when he meets the next girl he wants to date. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author muka Posted November 30 Author Share Posted November 30 3 hours ago, Gaeta said: Yes it was a soft rejection. He made it about your age but he is simply not interested in dating you. It's alright, there is nothing wrong in being rejected. Not all of your crushes will like you back romantically. What he has been doing is enjoying all your attention because it flatters his ego but he has NO intention of dating you. Now, you need to stop this non-sens of pursuing him, sleeping in same bed, and tell your friends to cut it out!!! with trying to match you together when he rejected you. . Friends don't do that to friends. Your friends should encourage you to find someone to date that wants to date you as well. The rejection happened after all of the listed above Quote Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted November 30 Share Posted November 30 1 hour ago, muka said: The rejection happened after all of the listed above It's time to stop sharing beds with him Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted December 1 Share Posted December 1 You're young, but in most places 18 years of age means you're an adult. All of this talk about his best friend and your best friend and what they are doing and saying is not useful. You asked him if he liked you. He told you he was not interested in dating you. You have your answer, so it's probably a good idea for you to stop goofing around sleeping together. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted December 1 Share Posted December 1 15 hours ago, muka said: The rejection happened after all of the listed above Given that and he are the same age, I think he is also inventing excuses not to date you. You couldn't be "younger" than him by anything more than a few months. I am guessing there are other reasons he isn't into it, but chose to tell you it's an age issue because what can you really say to that? Please take that as even further evidence that this guy does not want what you want out of this. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.