BaileyB Posted December 1 Share Posted December 1 (edited) 7 hours ago, Miss Spider said: I feel like that means that I’m either stuck in a relationship where I am not fulfilled and suffering for the rest of my life If this is how you feel about marriage, you should file for divorce. 7 hours ago, Miss Spider said: How can you help that you’re attracted to other people? It’s just insane to me. It is possible to find other people attractive and not act on those feelings. Edited December 1 by BaileyB 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted December 1 Share Posted December 1 12 hours ago, Miss Spider said: How can you help that you’re attracted to other people? Attraction can be controlled. Attraction always starts with something very small, just a general appreciation or basic liking. Then, if you allow yourself to act upon it, it becomes all in your head. You begin to flirt, fantasize, your desire swell up, all because you let it happen. If you truly love your partner and are truly committed to them, all you’ll ever sense for other people are just those general fleeting, meaningless feelings that can be easily subdued. Such as, “That person seems attractive. Good for them, I’m happy in my relationship and don’t need anyone else to validate myself”. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
happyhorizons Posted December 1 Share Posted December 1 She is clearly struggling with what she is feeling and how to proceed moving forward. Hopefully, MS will make the decision that is BEST for her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted December 1 Share Posted December 1 35 minutes ago, happyhorizons said: Hopefully, MS will make the decision that is BEST for her and her husband. Fixed that for you. She is married - there is more to consider here than her own best interest. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
happyhorizons Posted December 3 Share Posted December 3 On 12/1/2024 at 3:54 PM, BaileyB said: Fixed that for you. She is married - there is more to consider here than her own best interest. Yes, I would agree with that but HER happiness and contentment matter as well. Clearly, she has not made a definite decision as to what she may or may not do and weighing her options. I hope she makes a decision that she will and can be happy with in the long term. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
happyhorizons Posted December 4 Share Posted December 4 On 12/1/2024 at 3:54 PM, BaileyB said: Fixed that for you. She is married - there is more to consider here than her own best interest. The OP has made another thread which may shed some additional LIGHT on what she is going through and dealing with. The OP strikes me as a quality lady who has come to a crossroad in her marriage. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted December 4 Share Posted December 4 (edited) 15 minutes ago, happyhorizons said: The OP has made another thread which may shed some additional LIGHT on what she is going through and dealing with. The OP strikes me as a quality lady who has come to a crossroad in her marriage. Given the subject of this thread, her husband certainly has good reason to not trust her when she's out. This thread is pretty much about wanting permission to cheat Edited December 4 by basil67 3 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted December 4 Share Posted December 4 (edited) 12 hours ago, happyhorizons said: The OP strikes me as a quality lady who has come to a crossroad in her marriage. A quality lady who made a post discussing the fact that she is “bored” in her marriage and considering cheating on her husband. I don’t disagree with your point - she needs to make the best decision for her. But, if her happiness comes at his expense (ie. if she stays in her marriage and enjoys a little flirtation or an extramarital relationship on the side), I would respectfully suggest that that is not a great decision for either OP or her husband. If she is bored in her marriage and her eye is wandering, the best thing to do is divorce such that she can be free to pursue whatever opportunity catches her eye… Her husband will also be free to find someone who is committed and satisfied to be in a relationship with him - because, it doesn’t sound that that’s where this is going if she is bored already - in the “honeymoon” stage of the marriage. Edited December 4 by BaileyB 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted December 4 Share Posted December 4 (edited) See if you can get an annulment? Set your husband free and you stay single. That way when you get a spark to have another man in your life you'll be free to do it without hurting other people. You should be able to get an annulment. You are not your husband's friend. Edited December 4 by stillafool 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted December 5 Share Posted December 5 On 12/3/2024 at 6:19 PM, happyhorizons said: The OP strikes me as a quality lady who has come to a crossroad in her marriage. So far the quality is not showing up here. That's not to say it doesn't exist. She married for some kind of wrong reasons, and she needs to figure out how to move on without causing any more misery to the guy who made the huge mistake of marrying her. Can you even imagine being married for less than 3 months to someone who finds you "annoying" and "controlling" because you have issues with them hanging out in bars and clubs several nights a week? In the first months of marriage? And who is treating you poorly because they want to be out flirting instead of being with you? Nobody would take that well. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
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